Why Star Wars Is Better Than Harry Potter

We may not have a lightning scar or a geeky hero, but we have stuff even better. Why Star Wars is better than Harry Potter. Any Potterheads who might take offense to this, you've been warned.


41. Ron vs. Anakin

ANAKIN: Hello, Ron. What's new?

RON: Bloody hell, Anakin.

ANAKIN: What's wrong?

RON: I think I'm in love...

ANAKIN: That was intense for me as well. It's OK.

RON: No, Anakin. It'll never be! I love her.


RON: Romilda Vane.

ANAKIN: I thought you were in love with Hermione?

RON: I can't help it. Romilda's better.

ANAKIN: Why? Did she feed you a potion?

RON: IDK, but I stole some chocolate cauldrons from Harry...

ANAKIN: Maybe you should stop stealing people's presents, Ron.

RON: What are presents?

ANAKIN: (facepalm)

RON: So, you've been through this too?

ANAKIN: I went through this with a girl named Padme. She's super hot.

RON: What's she like?

ANAKIN: Well...she's really--

RON: Cause my girlfriend is a geek and a formidable duelist. She's also got a crush on me. Hooray?

ANAKIN: Will you let me finish? Good. Padme's really selfless, as well as acrobatic and hot. She also took out a nexu, even when it clawed her previously. She also cleared out a hall of battle droids and survived a Force choke. She's also really thin--she only weighs 99 pounds.

RON: My girlfriend is hotter, not to mention that her name is longer and she's at a healthy weight.

ANAKIN: You know that by personal experience?

RON: Um, no. But she also was the first to defeat a monster plant, earning her 50 points for her Hogwarts house.

ANAKIN: Is this going to be a debate? Cause if so, no doubt I'll win it.

RON: What does debate mean?

ANAKIN: That's it. (pulls out his comlink) Molly, will you teach your son what simple words mean?

MOLLY: Bug off.

ANAKIN: Then the damage has been done. Hey, Ron, wanna do a rap battle?

RON: What's that?

ANAKIN: A musical battle of wits, duh!

RON: Challenge accepted. You start.

ANAKIN: I'm the most powerful Jedi with midi-chlorians great

I can use the Force to shut and crush a gate.

With a slash and a blast

You'll be blasted and be dunked

Without Hermione Granger, you're just a little punk

I'm the best Jedi learner, done the world insane

You're just a stick-idolizer who will fall for Vane

I beat 50 Jedi rebels without stormtroopers to boot

All you ever do is stick with Harry like roots

RON: OK, my turn.

I'm a ginger who uses a wand like a pro

But I can't think of anything

So...you win, bro.


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