Why Star Wars Is Better Than Harry Potter

We may not have a lightning scar or a geeky hero, but we have stuff even better. Why Star Wars is better than Harry Potter. Any Potterheads who might take offense to this, you've been warned.


94. React To Reasons (4)

Tom vs. Palpatine

Though you may say Palpatine is better because of the whole Tom thing, I think Tom would win in this case. You may say I'm cheating, but Tom's full name is Tom Marvolo Riddle, which translates to "I Am Lord Voldemort."

I'm sorry, but plot convenience will never amount to fear, which FYI is a primary emotion of the dark side. It's ironic, and not because of plot convenience! And if that isn't enough, may I remind you we're comparing first names and saving last names for another chapter?!

Harry vs. Anakin (no, it's not spelled with an 'i')

She said Anakin was long and fitting, whereas Harry made Lily sound like a 1D groupie. First, I would like to point out that Lily is Harry's mother, so you probably meant Ginny. Second of all, I'd like to say that this is a bullsh*t excuse. Anakin fits perfectly? Yeah, it's a good name but that's not the reason Anakin should win. Calling the main character Harry makes Harry seem like a totally normal guy like all the other wizards and witches. Anakin is more exotic and would stand out in this world, but he lives in a different galaxy which might be normal. You could say that Leia was a 5SOS groupie (or mistakenly, a prostitute).

First of all, Anakin is spelled with an 'a', not an 'i'. Second, I'm a he and not a she. And if you're comparing where they're from, Harry is still more basic than "Albus" or "Mykew" or "Merope." But "Anakin" still owns names like "Han" or "Cin" or "Aayla." FYI, Star Wars: A New Hope was made before 5SOS was established. And I don't know where you got the whole prostitute thing from, but hey-ho.

Ron vs. Obi-Wan

The fact that "Obi-Wan" translates into "thin soul" means he's weak. That's not the point I wanted to talk about, though. I wanted to talk about the fact that she said that Ron's last name makes him sound like a weasel. Goddamn, woman, have you ever read or seen Harry Potter? He's called RON WEASLEY. You see my point here? Also, he's actually called Ronald but I won't go into that. You say he sounds like a weasel at McDonalds. Well, Ron is constantly eating so...

If thin equals weak, then why isn't Rey wimpy? And I don't think souls are weak at all thanks to structure. And again, I'm a boy! Uh, no, man, I haven't read nor seen Harry Potter. I think you can assume I have! Weasel. Weasley. What's the difference? That's like saying pocketses are nothing like pockets (Lord of the Rings reference, I know). And I know you don't want to go into pertinency. And he still sounds like a weasel at McDonald's, which is totally better than a slender spirit. I don't think so. Or, as Voldy would say: "They never learn. Such a pity."

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