Through

I was never sure about unconditional love when you're a teenager, not for someone that isn't a family member or close friend, but I got proved wrong. Apparently you can have unconditional love for someone who you've only known for a month, the kind of love that won't fade through anything, even if you want it to.

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14. Fourteen

One night Jack and I go for a walk along the river we went to that time before. I love his family and I love how kind and welcoming they are but it feels good to finally have time with just him. I just love the way he is. He's so happy and so calm and it's contagious, especially in this environment. I could stay here forever. 

"This whole place is like a complete different world." I tell him and he chuckles, sitting down and tugging on my hand. 

"What do you mean?" he asks. 

"I mean we've been seeing each other for three weeks right?"

"That's right."

"And it feels like forever. Back home that would be nothing."

"I was thinking that." he lays back and I lay down too, resting my head on his shoulder. I hesitate before I continue this conversation. He's mentioned that he's dated girls before but I just wonder what it was like with them, how similar or different it was, how many girls he's dated. I'm just curious but I don't know if that'd be weird to ask. I'm not sure he'd mind though. 

"So." I turn onto my stomach to look at him. "Tell me all about your ex girlfriends."

He laughs. "Fun."

"I'm curious." I laugh too. "Tell me."

"Let me think." he ponders. "Couple of crazy ones, one with an over protective dad, a nice girl who just didn't quite love me back. The usual." 

"Shut up."

He chuckles. "Nah, I'm kidding. Uh, I don't know, there's nothing interesting to tell. Just girls from school, all really nice girls, it was just never serious, you know?" 

I hesitate and I'm sure he knows what I'm thinking. I'm wondering whether I'm going to end up being a girl who is really nice but never serious. Not that I expect anything more but I also don't want to be a girl who's nice but never serious enough for him.

"Can I just tell you that you feel more serious to me than any girl ever did?" he says softly.

"I don't know." I say, not sure that can be true. 

"I do know." he chuckles. 

"Yeah, but are you sure it's not just because we're out here with nothing else to do? Are you sure this couldn't have just happened with any girl who came to stay?" I say. I'm a little scared of the answer. 

"I'm sure." he smiles, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "I really like the person you are, I'd like you wherever we were and it couldn't have been some other girl who came to stay."

I blush. I really thought I was over blushing at things he says. I don't know how to reply because that was so nice so I just kiss him. I never liked how quiet the countryside is but I do now, just the breeze and the crickets and Jack breathing and laughing a little every now and then. His hands go to my waist and he pulls me closer to him. We've never gotten this close before, not really since we first kissed. There just isn't a chance around here with our families being around or him having to work or me spending time with Mom and Nat. 

Even though nothing's really happening it feels like it is because this is closer than we've ever been and I obviously don't hate it but it's also kind of overwhelming so I pull away but it doesn't feel like I'm killing the moment or anything. I just feel like I don't need to worry with him like I would with other guys. 

"Have you ever?" I ask him, hoping he gets what I mean. Maybe that's an awkward question but I'm just curious. He shakes his head and I'm honestly shocked. "Are you serious?" 

He chuckles. "Yeah I'm serious. What, is it the most pathetic thing you've ever heard?" 

"No, not pathetic." I smile at him. "I'm just really shocked. Look at you."

He bursts out laughing. "Stop, oh my god."

"You know you're good looking, shut up." I nudge him. "But how come?" 

"How come I'm a virgin?" he asks and it looks like he's the one blushing now but he's still smiling. "I'm not going to have sex with some girl who I'm not serious with am I?"

"Well I don't know, guys do I guess."

"I just never felt like that was worth it." he shrugs and looks at me for a moment. "Have you?" I shake my head, fiddling with the strings on his hoodie. "Then why are you so shocked about me?" 

"Because you're an eighteen year old boy." I grin and he laughs, shaking his head. 

That was just a little fact to learn about him but I feel like I like him even more because of it. I feel like I like him a little more with every new thing I learn and it's intimidating in the best way, to feel like I'm in so deep when I don't know where this is meant to go next or how it happened in the first place.

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