Dear diary <3

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  • Published: 19 Dec 2015
  • Updated: 13 Mar 2016
  • Status: Complete
Dear diary - school bullying, rich parents, keeping to herself.
Will there be a happy ending?


8. Day 7 - Parental supervision



I really don't know what to do. My parents found the one thing, they shouldn't have found. You, my dear diary, and not to mention my collection of poems I've been writing to let out all the words that's been floating around in my head. They're all very dark and personal, just like you. Thank God, I got you back, but it's hard to say how much my parents have read. Especially all the stuff I've said about them to you. OMG, I HATE THEM! They're so shallow. I'm grounded, but what difference does that make. They haven't been able to control me before, so why should they be able to control me now? I've been able to sneak out to so many parties and going to the local clubs for 2 years now. They haven't caught me that much. Only a few times when i was sneaking into my room through the window and they came home from the country club or whatever they've been doing, at the same time. Oops. I don't give a shit about what they say, since they clearly doesn't give a shit about me anyway. They were hoping for the perfect daughter, but all they got was me, the unperfect little girl who can't be taken anywhere. Not when I'm acting the way I do and dress the way I do. They're a big reason why I don't want to live anymore. There's no point anyway.

The reason they've been in my room, is the fact that I once again went to a party, which were on a week night. They appearently got enough of my behavior and searched my room, found my diary and book with poems. They flipped out and even checked me. They made me go through a third degree interrogation. Who do they think they are? The FBI?! And what have I EVER done to them, besides being their daughter? They've even contacted a therapist, which I have to do, to figure out what's wrong with me and what's behind all the anger. Yearhh, I kind of flipped on them, like BIG TIME! It's too late for them. They have no power over me. I've been taking care of myself for so long and I've even stopped pleasing them a long time ago.

Yearhh, once upon a time, I tried to please them. Tried to do everything to show them that I could be the perfect daughter, but it was pointless. I couldn't do anything right, since all they did were pointing out all the stuff I did wrong, instead of letting me know what I did right. Never told me what I could do better. They've always looked down at me, for everything that I did. That was when they actually payed attention to me, but after I stopped, they gave up on me. More than they already did. I were even more of a disappointment to them than before. They hoped for the perfect daughter, but instead they got me. The full time loser, who can't even breath right, walk right or even have the perfect body, shape, voice or anything that would satisfy them the slightest bit.

I HATE IT! Even more the fact that I'll never be good enough for them. That's why I'm planning on running away. Getting away from this dump of a place, they call home. I hate Beverly Hills and I hate Beverly Hills High, where all the upper class, rich kids and everyone else loves to be. All they do is shop every day, doing their hair and nails and everything to make them even prettier than the other. Even backstabbing their own friends to get the most popular guy in the entire school. I've been scamming the entire city for the perfect place. The prefect place to die. Yearhh, you've heard it right, I want to die, but there's no way I can do it here at home. That would make my parents suffer. Oh wait, it's the perfect idea. That would make my parents feel everything I feel. The shame, the self-loading hate, the suffering, the guilt and everything else I'm feeling. I can't shut it off, so now they have to feel it too. I have the perfect spot where they can't miss finding me. I know their schedule, so I'll know when it's the perfect time to do it, so they can't miss finding me and go through hell, like I've been through hell.

XOXO- Zoey

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