Dear diary <3

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  • Published: 19 Dec 2015
  • Updated: 13 Mar 2016
  • Status: Complete
Dear diary - school bullying, rich parents, keeping to herself.
Will there be a happy ending?

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5. Day 4 - Scars

DEAR DIARY!

There's darknes everywhere. Everyone else might not see it, but I see it so clearly. Mostly because it's inside of me, where it shouldn't be and I can't help it. But what should I do when there's no one to show me love and give me light.

Pain. Pain everywhere. I can't control it, even if I tried. I've tried fighting back, but I just can't. Everyone always comes with some kind of insult about me. Either to a friend when they're walking by me or saying it right to my face. I try to ignore it when it happens, pretend like I don't even care. But it hurts inside. Especially when it comes from those wh once were my friends. Or I thought they were, until the bailed on me one by one. Now I have no one. So dear diary, you're the only one I have left. I find comfort in you, like no one else.

The only way I can get out all the pain, is by cutting. Cutting comforts me, like you comfort me in the writing. To you I can tell my inner feelings. Cutting gives me the relief of letting out all the terrible pain. Yes, it hurts when I cut, but it takes away everything else in that sweet moment. My parents haven't even seen it. Maybe because I hide it so well, by wearing long shirts and long pants. I doubt that they'll do anything about it if they ever find out. If they'll ever notice anything about me at all. They're out all the time, like I've said before, so they don't have time for me. They're living the life of every high class Beverly Hills snobs.

But for now, I need to say goodbye. See you soon my only friend. I need to go cut, since it's been a few days and there's a lot I need to get out.

XOXO - Zoey

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