Dear diary <3

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  • Published: 19 Dec 2015
  • Updated: 13 Mar 2016
  • Status: Complete
Dear diary - school bullying, rich parents, keeping to herself.
Will there be a happy ending?

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14. Day 13 - Reading

Dear diary <3

After my attempt to commit suicide, the nurses have been all over me and up in my grill, about everything. But instead of keeping me locked in, they gave me access to their library, in the hope of getting me occupied with that, instead of negative thoughts. In a way, its been helping me. I've been throwing myself at "The Hunger Games" and have already read all 3 books. I feel sorry for Katniss. She fought SO hard to keep her sister safe throughout the books, BUT just to lose her to death anyway in the end. If she wasn't destroyed inside already, Prim's death destroyed her for sure. Which is so sad. But at least she had someone to fight for, someone worth fighting for. On the other side, she fell in love with the least expected one, Peeta. Even though she loved Gale, her best friend.

I wish I had that kind of love. It must be really complicated, but at least there's people in your life, who's worth fighting for, no matter what you're fighting. If it's the system, yourself or your family or whatever. There's someone in your life who makes your life worth living. Worth the fight of waking up everyday, just knowing that you'll get to see this specific person, that loves you unconditionally. The person who can make you feel like you're the only person in the world, make you feel special just by a single look and a smile. I want that kind of person, but I don't know if I'll ever find that person or if I'm ever getting out of here alive or in a health state of mind. Not even the fact that I might not try to commit suicide out in the real world. In here I'm safe, but out there, I don't know.

XOXO - ZOEY <3 <3 <3 <3

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