Dear diary <3

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  • Published: 19 Dec 2015
  • Updated: 13 Mar 2016
  • Status: Complete
Dear diary - school bullying, rich parents, keeping to herself.
Will there be a happy ending?

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13. Day 12 - Mission failed

Dear diary <3

Just as I thought my diary were privat, it was completly violated. In here, nothing is privat and I can't even write in my diary, before someone eventually reads it. When they told me they would keep an eye on me, they literally do it. BIG TIME!!! Not just my every move, every meal and when I need to do certain stuff, but also my diary, which is the most privat thing EVER!!! To me it is. I managed to get all the stuff I needed for my suicide and I planned out every move to get it done. Even the time for when to do it. But of course, they kept an extra eye on me and saved me in the last minuted. Got all the drugs out of me, before it could kill me. I litterally screamed my lungs out when I realized I wasn't dead. I tried to fight them and figure out another way to die, but the managed to get me and locked me up in their isolation room, without anything else but what I was wearing. Even when they brought me food, someone stayed with me to make sure I didn't try anything.

I didn't have any kind of priviliges. I were there for almost a month. I felt so damn lonely and cried my eyes out as well as constantly screaming, but after a while, it slowed down and they let me out. They wanted to make sure I wasn't a danger to myself. They've made me go into very intense therapy ever since, even more than before. Now they know something is very wrong with me and they're letting me stay even longer. So I've got something good out of it, even when I know they have an extra eye on me every second of the day. Which kind of sucks, but at least my parents visits me once a week. I don't know why, but maybe they're trying? The nurses must have told them about my suicide attempt. They keep telling me I've got a second chance and not to blow it or they'll never see me again. But why wait until now? Why wait until I try to kill myself to realize that? I've been getting worse for years without them noticing anything, until now. I've been through hell. But hey, that's what you got for being born into a rich and superficial family.

XOXO - ZOEY

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