It's Time |A.I|

"You promised you'd never give up, Adelaide." Ashton whispered, voice cracking slightly. "You promised me you wouldn't."

{You can't make a promise you can't keep. But Adelaide did anyway}

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9. 09

Chapter Nine

 

Does anyone truly know how it feels to have your life taken from you? People, friends, they try to act like they understand but they just don't. They'll never get it unless it happened to themselves. It scares me, really. That I'm alone, not really alone, but I count not being with Adelaide emotionally as lonely. She was my true love, the one who kept me going at bad times, the one who made me smile when my mother had just died. She was more than just a wife to me, she was my best friend. And the sad thing is, she doesn't even know there's a little girl waiting for her mommy to love her just as much as her daddy would.

I sniffled, feeling my nose starting drip as tears fell down my cheeks, and onto my lips. My heart wasn't fully broken, not in half per-say, just crumbled like cookies when you accidentally smash them.  The cold air whipped at my face, turning my tears to a hard, crusty stain. The coldness soaked into my body, and into my bones; making me shiver from the inside. I needed to clear my head, look at my choices; think about what I need to do. It's been nearly three months since she's been in her hospital bed, not stirring even once. A part of me knows -feels- that maybe she isn't going to come back.

I steadied my breathing to slow, shallow ones; taking a breath of the fresh windy air. It smelt of gas and oil from the cars that passed by. Everything seemed to go in slow motion, when the doctor came outside. "Mr. Irwin?"

I couldn't look him in the eyes, deep sadness raising from the pit of my stomach into my throat. "Yes?" My voice cracked.

"Mr. Irwin, I think it's time that we pull the tube. Her vital signs are not getting any better and her cancer is spreading to her bones."

I froze, my body locked in place as I stared at the man with brown eyes. He held concern, sorrow; like part of his heart was breaking for me. "H-her bones?"

Dr . Wilson from the ICU nodded his head slowly. "I'm afraid so, Mr. Irwin."

"Excuse me I need a moment." And I ran, ran to wherever, away from my problems, away from Adelaide. I could feel my heart pumping three times the normal rate, adrenaline coursing through my veins. My sides started to clench, but I couldn't stop; I didn't want to. Tears didn't escape as I wanted them to, I had no more to shred. I just felt... Empty.

I finally slowed down after thirty minutes, walking around downtown where restaurants lit up the streets, lights around every corner. People walked from store to store, laughing, and couples holding hands. My stomach fell; I could never do that again. Well, not that I couldn't, its just I don't want to.



The lights were off as I walked in the front door of my house. "Luke? Where are you?"

"Living room!"

Luke laid on the couch, Hope in his right arm sound asleep. She got so big in the last three months, it was shocking; I didn't know they grew that fast.

We meet eyes and his eyebrows scrunched together.

"What happened?"

I swallowed, pushing my tears back. I wasn't going to cry, I was going to be a man and suck it up. Because that's what we're supposed to do. "A-Adelaide's cancer spread to her bones. I'm so sorry." I lunged for Adelaide's brother who looked just as shocked as I when I had found out. Two men holding onto each other for dear life as we realized the person we both loved was out of reach.

"Wh-what?"

"She's dying and there's no saving her." 

Luke choked out a sob. "But.. But I thought the doctor said she would survive?"

I put my head down and shrugged, "I don't know Luke."

Luke handed me Hope, "Put her to bed. We need to talk about her will and what she wants to do after her death." I nodded, taking Hope's fragile body into my giant arms. She opened her eyes for half a second, smiled, and went right back to sleep; making little baby noises as she did so. At least I had someone to remind me of Adelaide.

Our child.

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