To You.

To You. There is no more locked up thoughts, it's now on the page. On the screen. Your love, your hatred, your power. Right there. For you, from you, to you.


3. Dear Ex-Friend

Dear Ex-Friend,

I sit next to you in Art, Maths, English, Geography. I used to sit next to you in History. I guess that is what we are now, history.

It pains me to think of our present. You are merely just a smoke, a wisp of someone I used to know. Everything I used to like about you has dissipated into new qualities, new favourites, new likes and dislikes. I used to know everything about you. We are parabatais and for one year in my life I thought I had found some stability from you. After years of failed friendships, I had finally found my best friend and it was the sort you read in books and see in movies.

If you told me you wouldn't be talking to me in a year, I wouldn't be surprised. But I wouldn't have ever thought that a year would go past and I still wouldn't know what I did to you.

I've tried to write this letter many times, ex-friend. Sitting next to you in Geography, sending messages to a newer friend over my friend, just as we had so many times before, I tried fumbling around with my pen and paper. But nothing ever comes when you don't know what to say.

You just aren't you. I was friends with someone who shared interests and music and books and movies. The person who ignores me all day from registration to fifth period is not the person I couldn't last a minute without texting. I don't know exactly where you've gone but the person I knew grew up and straight away from me.

And then there is nothing left to say. I've tried being angry at you, but how can I be angry at you when you aren't a person I can be angry at- when you gave me so many good memories. I've tried feeling sorry, but how can I be sorry when I don't know what I should be apologizing for.

So all I can do is ask a question. Why? Why did I fall from the highest mountain? Why did you let me fall from the highest mountain? Why did you leave me on the floor to die?

Whatever your answer is, I'd like you to know I'm fine and even if you change your mind about me, I really owe it to myself to let go.



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