Thoughts of a Sarcastic Teenager

"Every teenager should have at least one journal to write their thoughts in... Or so says my guidance counselor, Jeff."

Lynae is known as the quiet, shy girl in school, but her guidance counselor and journal say otherwise. Lynae is actually a sarcastic young teen with a tendency to mock whoever she can and has a hatred for most people. Her family life isn't all rainbows and sunshine either, but that doesn't stop Lynae from being who she truly is. Join Lynae and read her journal entries as she tries to live her school life to the fullest, all while Jeff and her teachers try to make her express herself more.

With all that she has to say, will they be able to handle the large amounts of sarcasm that she's willing to throw their way?


4. The Stalker and His Sister

October 4, Monday 20xx

Seth, remember Eren? That kid from friday who wouldn't leave me alone? He's Viola's nephew and mom hasn't shut her trap about him since she told me yesterday. Of course, I didn't want to say I knew him. But mom brought him home yesterday to introduce her supposedly shy and precious daughter to him. He was shocked and spilled everything, like how we were in two classes and he had been looking for me and thinks it's destiny that the two of us met again. Mom was ecstatic and dad, he was not pleased. Damien must have seen through Eren's BS and came to stand next to me. He didn't do much, but he did growl when Eren tried to get closer to me and scared him off.

Thanks Damien.

Mom wasn't happy about Damien's behaviour, but dad was. He gave Damien some of his fish sticks as a reward and told me to head upstairs and stay in my room. Gee dad, since when were you the over protective type. With your beer in hand, you sure you weren't drunk? Ah, but you're scottish so that's good right?

I'm half scottish by the way, the other half is Spanish thanks to mom who still has her accent. And no, she's no Penelope Cruz.

I did what my dad told me and went up to my room, of course, but not before stealing some of his fish sticks. He did call me a thieving sheep, but laughed it off while Damien followed behind. Mom was mad at me, telling me to come back downstairs and entertain Eren while she stayed with his sister and Viola. Did I listen? Naw. Do I regret it? 

Hahaha nope.

So, stalker, which shall be his new name now, knocked on my bedroom door and asked to come in after an hour and a half later while I was trying to play Uncharted. How dare he? How dare he a million times over dare to try to disrupt my precious gaming time! I didn't answer the door but heard him shuffling away. And of course, he came back moments later with reinforcements. "Lynae! Open the door and let Eren play some video games with you." Typical mom, always trying to hook me up with her friend's sons. Last time she did this, she tried to make me, a 14 year old at the time, date Emily's 16 year old son. I wasn't attracted to him and he was cool with that since he already had a girlfriend and wasn't interested. Mom was furious, of course, but did I care? Naw. Dad was mad at her for it, then again he's always mad at her. 

Why did they marry, I wonder.

Of course, I didn't respond and she opened the door anyway. It's not like I locked it, why would I when I had Damien with me? He can just eat any intruder that dared come in, he was like the Cerberus to my bedroom which you may consider the underworld, and I, I am Hades. She walked in and behind her was not only Eren, but a girl too. She was shorter than me and had long, brown hair with bright green eyes. She was like a doll with the way she dressed, and the make up on her face was as though she were trying out for clown collage. Nice job there little molly, did you have fun making out with big Clown Bob? I think his lipstick smeared all over your face. "Lynae, entertain our guests alright? I'll be downstairs with Viola, I'll bring up some snacks later" Snacks? That's a first, since you never offered me any snacks before. Wow, I must be the luckiest girl in the world, thanks mom. When she left, Damien hopped right off of the bed and landed on the floor next to me, making sure he and I are close. Thank you Damien, my guardian angel of awesome. "Is that a PS3?" 

I don't know, check it out and see if it says PS3 on it. 

He must have known that I wouldn't have answered, because he didn't say anything after that. He and his sister took a seat on my bed, Eren was watching me play my game all the while his sister was glancing around my room and snooping around like I knew she would. To be honest, who wouldn't? You can make fun of all the stupid things people have in their rooms, so I respect that. Come at me with all your opinions, I can handle it and maybe get a good laugh at what you hate about my room that I love. "Eren," she whispered, leaning in while sending me a weirded out look. Don't think I didn't see you girl, I saw you clearly through the loading screen on my television. "Is she mute? You told me she never said a word to you and she still hasn't said anything..." You think just because I don't talk I'm mute? You really are something, are you not, kid? Before he could respond, the door to my bedroom open. My dad was red faced and glaring when he stuck his head inside, he hated the very fact that my mom had allowed a boy to come into my room. Sure he had brought his sister, but I know that my dad still wasn't having it. He was weird like that, I don't know how we're related sometimes... 

"Wonderful, my wife thought leaving an unknown boy into our daughter's room was a smart moveHow lucky I am to have married the most intelligent woman in the world." 

He literally grumbled that, I'm not joking. And THAT Jeff, shows how he's my dad. Well, that and our identical birthmark in the shape of Italy on our left ankles. Sure we could do DNA tests and whatnot, but the man is king when it comes to snarky remarks and whatnot, therefore he is worthy enough to be my father. Good job dad, you're closer to becoming a scottish version of Darth Vador. 

Lynae... I am your father... Lassie...

Anyways, he entered my room and knelt down next to me, petting Damien in the head before stating, rather loudly I would say, that if anything happened I just needed to scream and he'd come running. Gee dadthanks, you think I wouldn't be able to handle him myself? Sure I'm small but that doesn't mean I can't destroy someone like a ninja, a good kick to the face and he's out faster than you can say discount on all beauty products to the girls at my school. And his sister probably can't do too much, she'll smear her make up and probably whine about it like most little girls do. Getting up he left and walked right out, but not before the jerk went right ahead and told me I missed a secret easter egg in the game that could have helped me unlock an achievement. "You could have told me that sooner, what a wondrous father I had been blessed to have." I grumbled under my breath, rather sarcastically in a way that made my dad chuckle that chuckle that made it sound as though he were proud of me. And while my dad left, the other two in the room tensed up as though they had just seen a demon or something. But yeah, I had been compared to a demon once. 

Sorry, is this going on for too long Jeff? I'll try to make it interesting. 

Long story short, Eren and his sister, whose name turned out to be Laila, tried to talk with me but I ended up not saying a word and they left my room on their own. Good, that'll teach them to bother me. But did that stop them from following me to and from school? Nope, we live RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER. Why, thank you Loki, for being such a merciless and malicious jerk and bestowing these two upon me. According to mom, Eren finds me interesting, so much so that he wouldn't mind being friends with me. His sister even told my mom that she thinks I'm actually pretty chill, she wants to hang around me some more along with Eren. Girl, I ignored you for the duration of your stay at my house, and you want to hang around me some more?

I think she's plotting to kill me or something man, I should start carrying a pocket knife for protection. 

Jeff, take these two off of my hands, please? Find them some good friends and make sure you help me steer them as far away from me as possible. His sister was talking to me so much on the way to school today, about her old friends and her classes and what she likes. The only good thing about anything she said was the fact that she is ALSO finds a few rappers and their music to be a little too much for the right mind to handle and she'd rather listen to Bach. I am a fan of Mozart, but Bach has some good songs as well. 

But that's not the point. The point is that they were WALKING RIGHT NEXT TO ME. And they left little room too, do they WANT to make me uncomfortable? Because IT WAS WORKING. I'm not all up for getting angry and wasting energy on such a useless feeling, but I really wanted to grab them both by the ear and throw them onto the large crowd of hormonal teens. The girls are interested in Eren, and I know that the Niners are into pretty, clown kissing girls like Laila. I mean, seriously, she looked like she made out with a good three clowns before coming to school, what's with all the purple, blue and red? What, did you think i wouldn't notice? It's pretty obvious little girl. Thinking back on it, I should have done that rather than gasp and look behind me so that they would also look, and then make a quick run for it to the entrance while they were distracted. I got to my locker at record speed, I tell you I was so proud of myself I almost stopped to admired my right hand. 

But yeah, the day went on like normal, aside from the fact that Eren kept on trying to converse with me, it was still pretty good. Thank you fan girls, since you interrupted what he thought would actually be a conversation with me. I did my art assignment and went on with my day, Eren couldn't keep up with my strides. Like my dad always say, I'm tiny so I naturally move fast on my feet. You're probably thinking, 'aww she's so short-' 


I'm 5'5, I'm not THAT short. But compared to the BEASTS that live in my area and go to my school, I'm considered short. To them, I am a hobbit. 

I went through that whole day without dealing with Eren or his sister too much, and running home was a first for me. I haven't been that happy to be home since I was 10. You know, when I still had a loving mother who didn't complain about everything everyone did that somehow offended her. No mom, no. Stop it. You're annoying when you do that. 

But to be honest, I'd rather deal with her than deal with Eren and Laila trying to be my friends. Ugh, even writing the word makes me angry. I don't want friends, too much trouble. Good luck you guys, you're going to need it. 

I won't be your friend, I don't want to and I probably never will. 


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