Thoughts of a Sarcastic Teenager

"Every teenager should have at least one journal to write their thoughts in... Or so says my guidance counselor, Jeff."

Lynae is known as the quiet, shy girl in school, but her guidance counselor and journal say otherwise. Lynae is actually a sarcastic young teen with a tendency to mock whoever she can and has a hatred for most people. Her family life isn't all rainbows and sunshine either, but that doesn't stop Lynae from being who she truly is. Join Lynae and read her journal entries as she tries to live her school life to the fullest, all while Jeff and her teachers try to make her express herself more.

With all that she has to say, will they be able to handle the large amounts of sarcasm that she's willing to throw their way?

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1. The Dreaded Journal

Every teenager should have at least one journal to write their thoughts in...

Or so says my guidance counselor, Jeff. According to him, having a journal is a good way for me to not only get things off my chest, but also to relieve stress and realize just what it is about me that make me, well, me. In my opinion, I think that's absolutely wonderful! I mean, seriously! Who wouldn't want to write their inner most darkest secrets that they've kept to themselves all these years, onto a piece of paper, that could possibly end up in unwanted hands? That is such a creative idea...

Please tell me you took note of all that sarcasm. You did? Good, finally someone who isn't a complete idiot compared to every other idiot I'm forced to go to school with. Because honestly, if it were up to me, I'd be in a private school where the teachers wouldn't pay attention to me and let me live my life in sweet ignorance and silence. But back to the main topic at hand, why I'm writing in a journal in the first place.

And yes, a journal. Not a diary, diaries are stupid and girly and I think journal sounds way more professional and hipster-like.

"I used to write in a journal before it became mainstream and bluh bluh bluh..."

Anyways, it all started with the teachers today at school. Apparently, all of my teachers thought that I had a list of things that separated me from all the others. And frankly, you'd think they'd have gotten the hint that I'm just not one of their loud, foul-mouthed, uncultured, sex-crazed, imbecilic and unmannered students that give them more grey hairs than they deserved. Well done teachers of Filmore Heights, you are the greatest high school teachers in the history of intelligent teachers to ever educate the young minds of the younger generation. Please understand that that was sarcasm, I understand you all supposedly mean well and all that but that doesn't excuse the fact that all of you ended up singling me out for being different. And I'm the good kind of different, not the goody two-shoes kind of different or the delinquent kind of different, hell! I'm not even the skanky kind of different!

Here is the list of reasons they gave me to let me know just how different from the other students I supposedly am:

 

1. I'm too quiet.

Apparently, wanting to keep quiet or just not feeling up to talking is considered a bad thing in my school. Honestly, they scream and shout at other students to sit down and pay attention, but they hate the sight of a quiet student that is actually paying attention. Dear Mrs. Heartswan, I like to stay quiet rather than raise my voice and talk. Trust me, if you were to hear me speak, it wouldn't end well at all, you'd wish I had kept my mouth shut and all my opinions to myself.

2. I seem tired, shy and depressed.

Oh, I'm sorry, that's just how I naturally look. Is it my fault that the Gods thought molding my face to look blank or sorrow-filled would be the most brilliant idea in the universe since they created the pizza pocket? No, so please leave the way I seem to look alone. You are always talking about how no one should judge a book by its cover, why don't you set a damn example first? Also, the reason I'm so tired is because I can only take so much stupid that everyone in school around me seem to emit from their very being.

3. I'm always alone and never have any friends with me.

I happen to like being alone. Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely, seriously, think about it. Just leave me alone, I like being alone and if I don't well then I'll find some way to entertain myself so that I don't feel like the loner you seem to be making me out to be in everyone's eyes.

4. I never interact with other students or classmates.

Why would I interact with those idiots? You've seen what they're like, all into that popular crowd crap with their loud music and their stupid obsession with wanting to lit a stupid blunt. No, I'm not into that and I know there are other good, smart students in my classes but I'm not the kind of person that is into all that giddy and overly excited personality.

 

And of course, after these reasons were given to me, I was taken to the guidance counselor's office. He chatted with me, gave me the regular speech they give other supposedly troubled youths and brightened up when he got this brilliant idea in his handsome little head. He had reached into his drawer and pulled out a book. That's right, he pulled out a notebook. No, it wasn't this one, thank the Gods. The first book he pulled out was a pink fuzzy one with the word Diary' written across the front. Yeah, I told him I wouldn't take that and he knew how stubborn I could be. Luckily he had another book in his drawer, a much milder and gender neutral one. At least he planned ahead, but it was still insulting that he thought I would even consider the pink one. Come on Jeff, you and I both know I would have thrown a fit.

He told me to write in this journal whenever I wanted or felt like it, but I have to give it to him to read every morning once a week and he'll return it to me after school that same day.

This means all my dark secrets and thoughts will be out for him to read, yay me right? Especially since he's not that old and he's actually the first handsome guy with brown hair and brown eyes. Face it Jeff, some female and some male students in our school find you good looking, deal with it.

I realized that I didn't put the date, but who cares, I'll write the date the next time I decide to write in the journal or whatever. Jeff you probably want me to write in it once a day, but that's a little too much on a student that dreams of nothing but studying and flying away, where my dreams will be left to yesterday.

Oh, and expect a lot of references.

Ah, I heard the front door slam shut. Dad's home, which is a surprise since he's home early. New record dad, new record.

I should probably write my name down in here or something, you know, in case I get amnesia or something and need to know what the hell is going on. To future me who has amnesia, I am awesome, everyone else sucks, and the teachers at my school can be such idiots sometimes it makes me want to rip out my own hair. Sorry about that Jeff, but you already know how I am so me calling the teachers idiots shouldn't really surprise you. I've said much worse.

My name is Lynae Meadows. A stupid name, yes. A mispronounced name, also yes. A name that often gives people the wrong idea and shocks them when they meet me? Absolutely. Mom thought it was a good name at the time, then again she was only 16 when she had me so yeah, thanks teenage mom. By the way, it's pronounced Le-Nay, like a french horse neighing. No, it's not Lee-Nai. Seriously people, get it right.

That should be all for now, my hand is getting tired and writing is a pain. I wasn't born to write despite what you say Jeff.

Yeah, whatever. Later.

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