Thoughts of a Sarcastic Teenager

"Every teenager should have at least one journal to write their thoughts in... Or so says my guidance counselor, Jeff."

Lynae is known as the quiet, shy girl in school, but her guidance counselor and journal say otherwise. Lynae is actually a sarcastic young teen with a tendency to mock whoever she can and has a hatred for most people. Her family life isn't all rainbows and sunshine either, but that doesn't stop Lynae from being who she truly is. Join Lynae and read her journal entries as she tries to live her school life to the fullest, all while Jeff and her teachers try to make her express herself more.

With all that she has to say, will they be able to handle the large amounts of sarcasm that she's willing to throw their way?

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5. Oh Gosh, I've Made Friends, Yippee

October 6, Wednesday. 20xx

All hail Jeff, the man who seems to forget that I hate the thought of another human's presence around me, let alone two. Thanks to YOU, I now have to spend time with Eren, and on rare occasions with his little sister. That's absoluetly wonderful. And to make matters worse, the Grime siblings decided to make a little game out of spending their time with me, it's called 'who can annoy Lynae the most and try to make her talk' game. Uh, yeah, not going to happen. You think that I am going to actually waste my precious time speaking to you two when I can use it to outwit my dad every time we watch CSI together? No sir, I won't lose.

I SHAN'T.

And thanks to you Jeff, I have to deal with the female student body hating my very existance now, and I think I've gotten on Tiffany's hitlist. Gee, thanks for that, it was totally necessary. This is just as bad as that time I was almost framed for putting a stink bomb in the principal's office, good thing I actually had an alibi or else expulsion wold have been my new best friend. The only difference? I don't have a plan B or an alibi to get out of this. And that's not good, no not good at all. I hate not being in control of what will happen at least 50 percent of the time, so why make the percentage even lower? I'm not their babysitter and I won't be their friend. I didn't say a word to you at school because I would have exploded on you, and we both know that wouldn't have been a pretty sight.

Mom is going to be over the moon when she hears about this, then she'll try to make me wear these stupid girly clothes that aren't comfortable at all. I know she will, she's evil like that.

Hopefully dad will be on my side, and I'll make sure Damien is beside me too, in case Eren decides standing too close to me and invading my personal bubble is a good idea. Dad hates the thought of other boys near me, why? I have no idea, but he needs to tell mom to calm herself down and stop trying to set me up with Eren. I'm not interested and that's that, but of course, even if I try to tell her that she wouldn't listen.

So anyway, trying to rip those two off of my arms today while at school, I couldn't help but think gee, why hasn't anyone said anything yet? I mean, this is the first time two humans have wanted to stay beside someone who ignores their very existance. You would think rumors would spread by now, and I'd literally love to hear that. Nothing makes me laugh harder than listening to all the stupid BS people come up with. You would think they'd have something better to do with their lives rather than concern themselves with the lives of other people but no, they want to spend their living moments making fun of others and spreading lies like the plague. What a genius idea, if I do say so myself. Nothing says 'let's ruin someone's life today' like spreading lies of unbelievable occurrences, and make up something so stupid that only the moronic students of Filmore Heights would actually be stupid enough to believe. You can't see it through my words, but I'm smiling the biggest smile you would never believe I'm capable of. Ah, nothing like thinking about how pathetic some teenagers can be to make what was worrying me early wash away like dirt off of a window when it rains.

But back to the reason why I hate the world and Jeff at the moment. That's right Jeff, I hate you. How DARE you try to force those two on me? I thought we were cool, I thought you understood my pain of staying cooped up in a building with a bunch of useless idiots who refuse to accept their education. Why do you have to go and pull this on me man? I won't talk to you now, be prepared to be ignore for a while. Your presence is nonexistent to me now, repent and realize your mistake.

So, I found out the reason as to why the delinquents haven't been at school for a while now. They were taken to a camping trip or something so that they could be one with nature and 'learn self-control' or something. Jeff explained it before dropping that bomb on me. That your big plan? Bring me up with good news, only to thrust me back down to earth and watch as I crash into the ground? That strikes deep man...

I respect that...

But I'm still mad at you. So yeah, how dare you sir? Anyways, Tiffany, let's talk about her. She's like the major queen at our high school. No, not like the typical high school movie where I'm all like 'oooh' and 'ahhh' when I see her. I mean, she's the one everyone knows about and tries to be her friend because she has the power to ruin your life. She likes to flirt and date all the guys in our school, which wouldn't bother me if she didn't have to talk loudly about it in the halls. I understand, you slept with someone, wonderful. I don't like her and I know that she doesn't like me now that Eren kept following me around. It's probably because Eren doesn't seem to pay attention to her, but he should, just to get off of my back. I mean, she's pretty and such so why wouldn't he?

I can tell she hates me thanks to Eren, and I know what you're thinking Jeff. How do I know she hates me? Because she's been spending all her time glaring at me and chatting with her friends all while scrunching up her face. She never pays attention to me, so why now? I may not be the smartest person in the world or the most observant, but I know when someone who breaks routine starts acting different. Tiffany was tall and pretty, as I've stated before. Long brown hair and black eyes, which was rare but it made her look like some sort of model. She was taller than me, 5'8 or so and always wore skirts and shirts in a multitude of colours. She seemed to like standing out, then again, it shouldn't be a surprise.

She had followed me after all my classes which I, sadly, had with her excluding the two classes with Eren that I had. I knew she was doing it on purpose, I mean why wouldn't someone who hates being ignore suddeny pay attention to someone who tries so hard to BE ignored? It's obvious, right? She hates me, I hate her. And while I was walking in the halls today, passing by her locker which was unfortunatly close to mine, I took notice of something. She stuck her foot out, literally. This girl, this little childish girl who dresses and acts like an adult really thinks she could pull that stunt on me? What is this, a high school Hollywood movie where you can let that slide and laugh when the nerd suddenly falls face first to the ground? You think seeing people falling to the ground and get seriously injured is hilarious? Honestly child, grow up. You're  16 now, not 6, show some respect and grow a brain in that hollowed out head of yours. And you know what I did Seth? I stopped, glanced down at her shoes, then lift my head and turned to stare straight into her eyes as I slowly stepped over her leg. I kept staring at her for at least a minute or two, before turning to head straight towards my locker at the very end of the hall. Her shocked and annoyed expression made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Nothing like annoying someone who has a Holier-Than-Thou attitude, even better when you out them in front of everyone. That's right, I outed that girl in front of everyone in the hall who stopped to see what I, the quiet and supposedly shy girl was doing. I hope I didn't give out my identity, especially since I don't want anyone there to bother me as I live my uneventful and quiet days of high school by myself not once being recognized. The last thing I need is more friends to add to the list of annoying people that might drive me to murder.

I know I'm capable of it, it's obvious, everyone is since it's within our survival instincts. That's why some people actually kill in self defense, you can be the most innocent of innocent people and still bathe in the blood of your enemies when they try to harm your very being, it's a survival thing. But I've seen what prison is like, and I don't feel like taking abuse from guards who act all tough just because they're on the other side of the bars, or inmates who would choose meth over perfect hygiene. That being said, I got my things from my locker, and walked off as quickly as I could the moment I heard Eren and Laila calling my name. Of course, I heard the way Tiffany grumbled about how cocky I was, or in her words, how 'extra' I was being. Eren and Laila caught up to me eventually and started talking about their day. I, of course, ignored them, but I ended up doing so that I accidently led them all the way to my house and into my room. 

If I ever meet my clone, I'd punch myself in the face just for this one mistake. 

I'll remember this, of course. It will be known as 'the day the two stalker siblings entered the sacred room of me, Lady Hades.' They got lucky Damien A.K.A Cerberus was at the vet with my dad or else I would have ordered him to bite Eren. The two took out their homework when I did, and turned on my television to watch some after school kids cartoon in the mean time. They have touched my televison, they have soiled it with their greasy, gross limbs. I must decontaminate my television or I must throw it out, one of the two options. They're just lucky I didn't shout out 'Twenty three ninteen1 Twenty three ninteen1' and start spraying them with a bottle containing fabric softener I have in my room for when I iron my clothes. Yes, I iron my own clothes. Like I've mentioned before, my mom stopped being a mother when I turned 10. Why, is still a mystery to me to this very day. 

Anyways Seth, it's getting pretty late since those two clinging heaps of germs left a little while ago when I started writing. They ended up spending the rest of the day at my place, talking, laughing and pushing me gently as though we've been friends for years now. Yay, friendship is magic, so glad I listend to you Jeff and made friends with Eren and Laila. Where have I been all this time, just sitting herelost without my friendsThey are the greatest thing ever. 

Please note the sarcasm, because it's hard to write it just as it is to read it. I don't re-read my work, but when I do, I can't help but be angry that there isn't a way for me to perfectly capture the sarcasm that seems to spill from my lips as though it were as natural as breathing. 

I should get ready for bed now, I need to wake up early and get my things ready. Ah, nothinging like gaining new friends to make you feeling like waking up and preparing for war, I must avoid them AND the dreaded Tiffany that will be waiting for me come morning. Thanks Jeff, I feel as happy about this as your fiancée when she realizes how pretty the female teachers in school are. That's right, I'm talking about the fiancée I hate with my very being. I am THAT mad at you. 

See you whenever, Seth. Pray that I don't deal with a bunch of idiots tomorrow who decide they want to start talking to me and acknowledging my very existence. 

 

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