How Each Harry Potter Book/Film Could Have Ended

Hilarious alternate endings for all 8 films.


1. The Sorcerer's Stone

Once upon a time, a boy named Harry went to Hogwarts. However, he saw Platform 9 and 10 and did not know how to get onto the platform at all. So he asked Molly Weasley for help.

"All you have to do is crash into the wall and you'll materialize inside," she said.

Harry nodded, but his attention was focused on Ginny. I want dat girl!!! "Is...this hottie coming to Hogwarts too?"

"Mom, is he crushing on me?" Ginny asked.

"I believe so," said Molly. "She won't come until your 7th year starts."

"NOOOOOO!!!" Harry screamed. He ran into the wall and materialized. On the other side was the Hogwarts train. Once on board, he couldn't find an empty seat. He saw Miley Cyrus on board. "Can I sit here?"

"No, because I am waiting for my fans to join me here," she replied.

Harry was even more shocked to see Nicki Manaj on board. She offered him a seat, and despite his desperate quest, he said no. He finally found Ron aboard the train and asked if he could sit there.

"Sure," said Ron. "Why didn't you sit in the celebrity rack with Nicki when you had the chance?"

So that's why she invited me! "I don't know," he lied. "What's your name?"

"I'm Ron," he said. "Ron Weasley."

Just then, Hermione showed up. "Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville's lost one."

"No," said Ron.

"OK," said Hermione. "Moving on."

"Whew," said Ron. "That could've been a disaster!"

Just then, the Hogwarts train arrived.

The next day, they had class with Snape.

And then Snape turned to Harry. How fun it will be to torture him. "Mr. Potter...our new celebrity."

Just then, Voldemort appeared in the window. "Avada Kedavra!" Snape hit the ground.

The kids looked up.

"It's You-Know-Who!" said Ron. Harry gulped.

"Sorry to interrupt your class time," he said. "Just wanted to save you 7 years of torture, as well as Dumbledore's life and a butt-load of lies from the Pensieve. And BTW, Miley Cyrus is next!"

Everyone cheered.

"Good bye!" said Voldemort. With that, he Disapparated.

"What's a Pensieve?" Harry asked.

"Beats me," said Ron.

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