I wake up to balloons all over the floor and streamers hanging from banister. I look around, the furniture was pushed to the wall but Rachel looked as if she hadn't woke up, she was still asleep
“Good, you're up, you can come with me to get beer.” Holland comes down the stairs.
I rub my eyes and stand up. “It's Friday already?”
“Yes.” he laughed. “How's your back doing?”
“Turn around and let me see.”
I do as I'm told and he lifts my shirt. The air is just cool enough to give me chills and Holland's cold hands make it worse. I flinch a little when he pulls off the band aid but I don't feel much because its kinda numb. I feel his fingers brush against it lightly. “How do you feel?” he puts the band aid back on gently and pulled my shirt back down.
“Fine.” I shrug again. “I don't really feel it yet.”
“I'm not talking about your back, I'm talking about last night.”
“Still though.” I turn around quickly, surprised at how quickly I became anger filled. “I'm fine and there's nothing more to say.”
“Damn it, I'm serious, okay?”
He sighed quietly.
“Just drop it, please?”
He nods. “Fine, I'll stop for now. But we're coming back to this conversation later.”
I start up the stairs. “No, we're not. God, Holland, I don't wanna talk about it.”
He follows. “Yes, we are, I don't care if you want to or not. I know what it's like-”
“This isn't about you!” I scream, interrupting him. “You don't know what it's like. You don't know what I'm going through.”
“No? Lyza, I watch my parents kill themselves. Do you have any idea how difficult that was for me? We live in a community where you're not allowed to have someone to lean on, we're suppose to swallow our pride and out feelings and act as if we're okay with whatever hell is going on at that time. And it killed me. I'm dead inside, I don't feel much anymore and I don't want that to happen to you.”
“This is different. Your father didn't abuse your mother... you sister didn't kill your mother either... Your parent didn't die because your mom couldn't handle being married to your father anymore...” I start tearing up.
He did too but he just breathed in deeply. I knew he wouldn't dare cry, especially with Myles somewhere around.
“Your parents died because your mother was a selfish bitch!”
He raised his eyebrows quickly. “Really? And you think what your mom did wasn't selfish?”
I smack him across the face. “How dare you say that!”
He runs his fingers through his hair and walks over to the table. “Lyza, instead of talking to someone...”
“Shut up...” I raise my voice with warning, knowing where he is headed with this.
“Like you're doing...”
I cover my ears and close my eyes. Sure, it may seem like something a little kid would do but I didn't want to hear this. “Stop, shut up! Just shut up!” I screamed.
“She killed herself!” he yelled, pulling my hands down and gripping my wrists so I couldn't cover my ears again. “She killed herself.” he repeated quietly. “Do you want that to happen to you? Do you wanna be that depressed and lonely that you resort to that?”
“No...” I barely choke out as tears are streaming down my face.
“Then talk to me damn it! I'm not going to let that happen to you, I'm not gonna loose you too.” I hear his voice crack but he pulls me in for a tight hug.
“I know...” he kissed the top of my head. “I-I know... I'm sorry you guys have to go through this, Lyza, I really am.”