Clair was a biologist living with her husband, Adrian P Janeway, aboard the Voyager. Adrian was turned to his side in the bed trying to figure how to break the news to her. He sat upright careful to not wake her up. He went through his hair with a low sigh. Why did he have to be put into this position? He didn't like to be in the middle of everything even when he was the captain of the USS Voyager. He was lucky to have been assigned on it after serving five years aboard the USS Chalice as the first officer.
What was on Janeway's mind on the first night without Q?
What was she thinking?
Was she busy thinking how to break it to the Federation that she had sex with Q upon returning?
Did she have night after night a difficult choice to tell her son who his father is?
Did she sleepless nights after Q left?
Did Janeway believe she heard Q when she did not for years afterwards?
How does he break the news to his wife regarding his sexuality? News like that would shatter Clair. He was thinking about her rather than himself. Did he care too much about Clair? Yes, he frankly did. Clair and Adrian wore protection when they engaged in sex. It was still arousing and satisfying. They were partners with benefits. Living a lie with someone he did care about greatly? That would break Clair if she discovered that for six years in their marriage Adrian has walked around with the knowledge. It would be the greatest bolt in her heart and the nail in the coffin for their relationship as a couple.
Adrian saw a floating white ball at the front of the bed.
"Rygork." Adrian said.
The ball floated over to Adrian then came to his side.
"Tell her." Came Rygork's voice.
"But it would break her." Adrian whispered.
"I am not asking you to divorce her," Rygork said. "I am telling you to be honest with yourself."
Adrian felt a warm hand caress his cheek.
"Ry . . ." Adrian said.
"I will be waiting for you." Rygork said.
And the ball vanished into the darkness.
"Ry. . ." Adrian said.
With that, Adrian decided to tell the truth in the morning. He got out of bed, took a spare blanket along with a pillow, and went to sleep on the couch. He came to a choice in the relationship he shared with Clair. If he wanted to be free of any heavy guilt after the change then he had to let it go. Let go all the secrets. Let it all go. Adrian fell asleep on the couch with his blanket wrapped all around him.