We finished meeting everyone. They were so much better and funnier in person than through a computer screen. Anyway, right now, Mari, Sohinki, Lasercorn, Victoria, and I are all in the gaming room shooting Grand Theft Smosh (GTS). Sohinki does his usual intro after we all started and introduces Victoria and I.
“Hey guys, and welcome back to Grand Theft Smosh. As you can see we have two very special guests, Alex and Victoria,” he says. Victoria smiles and waves into the camera and I smile and say hi. We get right into our mission after that. At one point, Joven was mumbling at his computer (probably editing) and as we were talking, Lasercorn died, and shouted out,
“...and that’s why we had to kick Joven out, huh? So I could die more? I see what you did there, Sohinki.” Joven turns around and shouts in a sudden rage for no apparent reason,
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU GUYS ONLY WANT ME TO PLAY BECAUSE I RAGE QUIT SO MUCH, HUH?! YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME CRAP BECAUSE I DIE SO MUCH IN GRAND THEFT AUTO! FUCK YOU ALL!” Everyone is silent for just a second and then we all burst out laughing. Joven shouts again and then leaves the room.
After we were done gaming and shooting, it was about 2:45pm, Mari had to do some editing so she told Victoria and I we could just hang around the office building for a while until she was done. I needed to go to the bathroom so I asked where it was and Mari showed me the way. I came out of the stall and stared at myself in the mirror.
“This is amazing! Mari, Victoria, Smosh-- all of it. I just wish I could have done it sooner.” I look at my phone and look at my spammed messages, 16 missed calls and 27 texts all from Josh. I feel like I’m about to cry thinking of my past but I force myself not to. I decide to open the messages.
“Babe where are you?”
“Are you at Victoria’s?”
“It’s late are you spending the night?”
From this point they just get worse. I try and hold myself together to listen to the voice mails that he left but it was hard. He mainly wanted to know where I was and why I wouldn’t answer my phone. One voicemail he left was after he found my note. He was pissed off, of course. The last one was the one that got me, because he said,
“Alex where the fuck are you? You haven’t answered any of my calls or texts. You leave a note that says, “Bye Bitch” and nothing else? Victoria isn’t answering either, so what the fuck? I swear to god, Alex, I will find you and I will bring your ass back here and lock you in a room for months until you learn your lesson. That’s if I haven’t decided to kill you already. Oh, and if you find someone else… I will hunt down everyone one you love and all your precious little friends and kill them and make you watch. You are going to have hell to pay. You hear me, Alex? Hell to pay.” I was shaking all over and I couldn’t stop. I put my phone down on the counter and cried. I tried to be as silent as possible but I don’t think it was working.
After a while I look at the time on my phone and it was almost 3:00pm.
“Gosh, I’ve been gone for about fifteen minutes. I better get going.” I think to myself. I rinse off my blotchy face and refrain from crying anymore. I text Mari that I’m going to wander around for a while and to just text me when she’s done. She replies quickly saying okay. I walk out the door wiping my face. I decide to turn left and begin my journey. I find some familiar rooms that they use for some videos on their second channel. As I walk down a corridor I hear something at the end of the hall. I can’t really make out what it is so I cautiously make my way towards the noise. As I get closer I realize that it sounds almost like someone is sobbing. When I make it to the end of the hall, the last door is slightly ajar. I push it open slowly and I see Anthony. He is sitting on the ground in a corner sobbing. He jerks his head up to me when he realizes I am there.
“What do you want?” he says a little harshly. I brush it off because of what Mari told me. I close the door behind me and walk over and sit down right next to him, the room is dimly lit.
“Even though I most likely know the answer, I’m going to ask this anyway: what’s wrong, Anthony?”
“Why do you care?”
“Because I am going through the same thing, almost. And I hate seeing people hurt, physically or mentally. So tell me, what’s wrong?”
Anthony looks over at me and sighs, “Fine...Well, I guess it’s just the breakup with Kalel. I can’t show my emotions on camera so I hide. In all those four years, I really loved her and she just didn’t towards the end. I don’t know if you saw our breakup video but she caught me off guard that day. I looked like I had finished crying in the video because I just had. She showed up at my apartment and said that we should make that video so we did. If I talked about what had happened between us, I probably would have cried. That’s why she did most of the talking and she seemed unaffected by everything. We said we would still be friends but that was just a white lie. And to top it off, I am getting panic attacks more and more now because of it. I just had one before you came in, if you couldn’t tell. So, yeah, sorry for going overboard by the way. You must have it better than me.” Anthony turns his face to the grounds and tries to control his breathing.
“Oh, Anthony, trust me, you are the one that has it better than me.”
He looks at me with questioning eyes. I tell him my story with Josh, and what happened in the bathroom. Somewhere in there, I started crying, but I hadn’t realized it until after I finished my story.
Alex started crying about when she said her ex-boyfriend Josh hit her.
“Wow, her story is worse than mine. But I can see how the stories are related, both breaking up with someone you thought you loved. It sucks.” I think to myself. After that, we just talk. We talked about our past to our present, things we like and don’t like, pets, etc. Alex’s eyes lit up when I talked about Pip (my Savannah cat). She said she loved cats even though she had her dog Mack. I told Alex things I never told anyone before, and I told her that when I said them, and she did the same. We have so much in common, especially gaming. We planned a date for Alex to come over to my apartment and play Mario Kart to see who the true champion is. I told her to bring Mack as well since Pip didn’t have Buki or Mogwai (Kalel’s cats and she calls Mogwai, Chibi now) to play with. Alex gave me her phone number in case I need to call her at anytime of the day for anything. I did the same as well.
“Don’t be afraid to call me in the middle of the day or at 2am, if you need me, then call me, okay?” I tell Alex. Mari texted her letting her know she was done editing and her and Victoria were ready to leave.
As Alex was getting up and leaving, she said, “And you do the same, okay? I will be expecting a call soon.” We laugh and say bye.
“I feel so much better now that I had this talk with Alex. She showed me that there is a light in this darkness of mine, and some people have it worse than others, and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.” I think and smile. After this day is over, I’m going to text her right away.