I Failed Him

This is a Tokyo ghoul one-shot that I wrote last night because I was bored. I just wanted to know if there are any Tokyo Ghoul fans on here that ship HideKane


1. It's All My Fault

Why is he here? Doesn’t he understand that he is in danger? Doesn’t he care that I’m a— a monster? I stared at the table where he just sat our drinks and for some reason, I began to question his motives. From the looks of his outfit, he wasn’t here fighting for me; it was more like he was fighting against me.

“Why Hide?” nothing else wanted to leave my body. Hide laughed lightly, clutching his stomach. The smile on his face never faded, not even as my stupid eye stared at him in shock as he sees me as a ghoul for the first time.

“I haven’t seen you in months, why wouldn’t I come?” I wanted to be mad, but I couldn’t. Hide coughed and laughed again picking up his coffee from the table and taking a sip from the steaming cup, before pulling it away from his mouth, laughter leaving his mouth yet again.

“I knew I should have practised making coffee more. This taste like shit, I suggest you don’t drink it.” I wanted to laugh but something was wrong. I could smell it. I understand this place was a death zone right now, but there was one thing that I couldn’t let go past me. A smell I knew too well but couldn’t remember.

“But Hide— the CCG are here to kill me— why are you with them?” Hide laughed again, scaring me. Although I am missing months of not being around this boy, I knew his laugh as if it had been implanted in my brain since the day I was born.

“Well Kaneki, that’s a bit of a long story one of—” he was cut off by more coughing. There was that smell again— where did I know it from! “—which I may have to write down for you to read, since it may take millennia for me to say it aloud,” I watched Hide cough, the light in his eyes dulling quicker and quicker by the second.

Something is wrong. I know it. Hide’s coffee slipped from his hands and shattered on the ground causing me to jump. Hide stopped smiling completely and stumbled towards me his bright brown eyes, darkened and daunting. Hide crashed into my arms, falling as he went and I finally discovered what the smell was after I caught Hide in my arms, because the colour of his blood stained my hands.

It was Hide’s blood. He was bleeding because he came here to find me. But why— why would he do something so reckless and not think about the consequences? Hide was the only thing I had left of the life I lived. After meeting Rize my life was horrible revelations followed by torture.

“Why— Hide. Why would you come?” I left tears slipping from the corners of my eye, mainly my ghoul eye as everyone called it. I called it my cursed eye. I couldn’t hold myself and Hide up anymore, my legs dropping from below me, bringing the two of us down so Hide’s head rested on my upper body, one of his bloodied hands holding mine while the other held his stomach.

“Because I love you, you dummy. Ever since we met you— were such a loner— and I thought, that boy— he’s adorable. I want— to be his— friend, no his— best friend.” Hide’s breathing was speeding up and it was hard for him to talk. Because of his words, it was hard for me to talk. He— loves me?

“Hide— I love— you too. I just— I felt like a freak when I realized my feelings for you, because I thought you would never return them. Then when I met Rize, I thought she would be the perfect excuse to not letting you know. This is all my fault!” my tears were falling and crashing onto Hide’s beautiful face. There was nothing I could do! I had no way of saving him.

“Kane—ki, I always knew— you were a ghoul— and that you were gay. I was— so happy.” Hide opened his mouth to talk again, but he was cut off as he began coughing again, blood coming up. There had to be something I could do! When I was on the verge of death, I had ghoul organs transplanted into me, and that made me what I was today.

“I can’t lose you Hide.” He is my everything. He always has been and I needed to keep it that way. But there were no ghouls nearby so I needed to do something. What if I gave him my— yes that may work!

“Kaneki— what’s— wrong?” seriously this boy is on the verge of death, and he was asking me what was wrong? I shook my head, my tears falling onto Hide’s face even more, and giving him the appearance that he was crying.

“Please don’t hate me for this?” Hide nodded his eyes falling closed. I whimpered and lifted my arm to my mouth, biting down and drawing my blood. I sucked as much as I could into my mouth, before pulling away and bending down to Hide, gently setting my mouth on his, allowing my blood to flow into his mouth, some of it trickling down the side.

I wiped the blood away and repeated the process twice more, putting my blood into Hide to heal him. Please let it work. I cannot lose him. Hide’s smile is not allowed to leave this horrible world! Hide needs to keep on laughing so I can get through every day! Hide needs to live so I can love HIM LIKE I SHOULD HAVE DONE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO!

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