Fuck it, I'm learning

My life isn't a movie, it's not a book with just one ending and I can't just throw it in the trash and start over. I have to live with the choices I make, even if my choices send me straight to hell.

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4. Jules

Last night I had a dream about my older brother's best friend. His name is Jules and he goes to my church, not that we're really churchy people but, our parents force us to go. Jules is so much taller than me, he's 6'3 or 4 and I've known him for the 17 years I've been alive. It might not seem that weird to you... Having a dream about my brother's best friend but, it was an intimate, hot and steamy sex dream. If you met Jules, you'd understand why I dreamt about him. It's not like he has a six pack or anything but his face and hair and style is to die for. His personality just makes him even better.

The weird part of this is, is that I've always considered him to be like an older brother figure. That was until I started to notice how hot he is. I see him every Sunday and our group hangs out together. The group is Jules, Laurenzo, and Jules' sister spider-Webb (my brother doesn't live here). And every time I see him I just want to strip down and have hot sex with him. I've tried to shake this feeling but I just can't. I keep imagining these scenarios in my head of the two of us, and then I think about how he is one of my brother's best friends.

I wish I could show you my dream. It was amazing. We were having the best sex and I had an orgasm and it felt like I was actually having one. He was so hot in my dream, oh my god!! It started out as us walking through a grocery store and then he all of a sudden turned to me and pinned me up against a wall. He was just staring at me, with those gorgeous brown eyes. He leaned in close to my face and whispered in my ear "I want you now." And then he started leaving a trail of kisses down my neck, you know what happened next.

Jules is two years older then me, he's in second year university and he'd never go for me. But every time we're together I'm pulled to him and I get this feeling like we could just start this passionate make out session right then and there. I don't know. This all sounds so crazy. Maybe I should go for him? That would probably ruin everything between us and plus, my best friend Laurenzo hardcore flirts with him even though she has a boyfriend. That's just her I guess. Maybe I'll just go to a party with him and our other friends and we'll get super drunk and we'll make out. If he's not into it, blame it on the alcohol... If he is, well I'll go for it.

Here's hoping 🍷

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