~“I love you more.” Zayn whispered. I looked over at him talking to his girlfriend on the phone. He had a tiny smile on his face while kicking the ground with the soles of his shoes. He just got back from touring in America and decided to visit me. “Bye.” He hung up the phone then walked over toward me. “Sorry bout that. Just had to tell Stefanie goodnight. “ I smiled weakly. “It’s okay.” I mumbled. I’ve always had a crush on Zayn. I even told him once. We went out for five months then broke up because he had to go on tour. Apparently, he met someone else on tour and has been dating her for three months now. Honestly, it broke my heart. I really loved Zayn. He told me he loved me, yet he breaks up with me then gets with somebody else less than two weeks later. I’m sorta amused at how love works for Zayn. I should hate him…but I don’t. I love him. I told him we’d be the best of friends…but I can’t handle him talking to his girlfriend like he used to talk to me. This was happening all too soon. “You okay?” he asked. I looked at his handsome face and fought with all my heart to hold back the tears. I forced down the lump in my throat and answered, “yeah…juts tired.”
“Oh, well I should let you get some rest. It was really amazing seeing you again, Brittany. I’m happy we could still be friends.” He hugged me then kissed my forehead. “Bye.” He said walking toward my door. I waved as he looked back before stepping out into the cool night air. I swiftly ran toward my door to lock it. As soon as that lock clicked the tears started to flow down my cheeks. I cried so hard I didn’t make any noises. Screw Zayn for making me feel this way and thinking it’s okay. Screw him for being so god damn perfect. I sat on my cold wood floor and cried over someone I couldn’t have.
The next week went by pretty quickly. It went a little something like this: Zayn comes over in the afternoon talks about his relationship with his girlfriend, life with the boys, and family, asks me how I feel, then leaves. Then one day it wasn’t the same anymore. It was a quiet Saturday afternoon when I heard a hard knock at my door. I slowly walked to it then opened it. Cue Zayn’s crazy girlfriend, Stefanie. “Hi-” I started confused.
“Why has Zayn been here so much?” Stefanie asked. Her arms were tightly crossed across her chest. Stefanie was tall and had dark brown flowing hair. Her style was always up to date and her voice was smooth. She had several tattoos covering her arms. Curves took over her body in a graceful yet sexy way.
“Because I’m his best friend. What is he supposed to do? Ignore me?”
“So? I have best friends and we don’t spend this much time together.” I glanced at her. Then raised an eyebrow. “Well you and your friends are not Zayn and me.” She huffed.
“Look, I know about you and Zayn. I know you guys used to date or were in love or whatever, but that’s over. I talked to him and he only loves me. Now just stay away. Okay?” She said slowly. I looked at her, She talked to him? He said that he doesn’t love me? I don’t think so. I would only believe this if I heard it come from Zayn’s mouth. “Fine, I won’t see him anymore…but only if he agrees.”
“Fine.” She mumbled pulling out her phone from her extremely tight jeans. She dialed his number then put it on speaker.
“Hello?” I heard Zayn’s smooth voice answer.
“Hey baby! You don’t love Brittney anymore do you?” She asked. It was silent for a moment before Zayn answered, “Boo, we already talked about this. We are friends. I’m sleeping with her! I promise!”
“That’s not what I asked you, Zayn. You don’t love her anymore do you?”
“Stef, of course I love her she’s my best friend. I couldn’t live without her.” A smirk appeared on my face as I hit the end button.
“Guess we’re still gonna be friends then eh? I said grinning like a fool. “Goodbye.” I grabbed her arm and walked her toward the door. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” I slammed the door behind her. My heart was beating incredibly fast. I can’t believe I just kicked Zayn’s girlfriend out of my house.
That night I was sitting on my couch watching SNL when I heard a low knock at the door. At first I wasn’t even sure I heard a knock until it happened again, but louder this time. I walked to my door with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. When I opened the door Zayn was standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets. “We need to talk.” he said. I silently moved aside to let him in.
“What’s up?” I asked flopping down on my couch. I propped my bare feet on the cool leather as Zayn sat across from me. He picked up the remote and flicked the TV off. I furrowed my eyebrows at him then huffed. A loud silence filled the room and if right on cue, crickets chirped loudly outside.
“I wanna ask you how you feel.” I blankly looked at him.
“You came all the way over here at 11:30 at night to ask me how I feel? Zayn, are you drunk?” He leaned his head back on my black leather couch and sighed starring at the ceiling. “I mean” the words slowly left his mouth as he tiled his head toward me. “How do you feel about us? I never really asked you if you were okay after the breakup. Now I wanna know.”
“Now you wanna know how I feel? You can’t be serious!” I shifted so I was really facing him, making sure he saw the hurt and anger in my eyes. He never really did ask me how I was after the breakup. I figured he didn’t care. Now here he was sitting on my couch in the middle of the night asking if I was okay.
“I’m sorry.” he mumbled.
“Okay! You wanna know how I feel. I feel like shit. I don’t even get it! How could you just tell me you love me one day, then leave me the next week!”
“I had tour! You know that!”
“Yeah, I understand, Zayn! But like two weeks later you got someone new! You replaced me. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? You kept telling me I was the one and you were so happy, then you just got rid of me!” I felt cool streams of tears falling down my face. “You know, you think you’re so god damn mysterious and cool! You’re just a coward. You’re afraid of how you feel. Being in love scares you to death, doesn’t it? You didn’t end our relationship because you had to tour, you ended t because you were actually falling for me, and that scared you!”
“Really?” He asked with a annoyed look on his face. “That’s what you think? I was just scared and left you?” He let out a chuckle. “Did you even think to ask me how I felt about this whole thing?” I rolled my eyes. “Okay, how do you feel about this whole thing?” I asked aggravated.
“Hurt, babe. I didn’t want to leave you. I just-I felt that you could find someone better than me. Yes, I love you. Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I just can’t. I can’t hurt you like that.”
“Zayn, what are you talking about? hurt me?”
“I would never be here if I was with you, I would constantly be surrounded by girls, and no one could ever find out about us. You mean too much to me to lose, Brittany.”
“I don’t know. It’s just…this one thing. You’ve got this one thing I love the most…and I can’t put my finger on it.” I smiled and wiped a few stray tears from my face.
“Can we start again?” He asked leaning forward. My eyes widened in surprise, but my heart yearned for him.
“But you’re girlfriend…” I started.
“I broke up with her.” I couldn’t help the smile that widened on my face at the thought of Zayn not being with Stefanie. I felt his soft, familiar lips on mine within seconds. My heart began to beat faster as I felt his large hands push my shoulder back to lie flat back while he laid on top of me. His lips wondered to my cheek then down my neck, slowly; making my mind clouded. The feel of his rough hands brushing against the bare skin under my shirt,-on my waist- sent shivers down my spine. He smirked into my neck before giving it a light nibble then gently kissing my lips. “I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you, Brittany.” He whispered in my ear, making my heart soar with happiness. That’s the one thing I wanted to hear.