~“We’re finally alone!” Zayn growled in my ear from behind me. We had just got back to our hotel room from endless interviews and meetings. The whole time I could see the annoyance and anticipation in his eyes. I felt his arms snake around my waist, pulling me close. He softly pressed his lips to my shoulder making my skin tingle with gossebumps. He slowly moved his lips up to my ear then glided his hands down to my hips to turn me toward him. Before I could react he smashed his lips onto mine and pressed his pelvis closer to mine. A soft moan escaped his lips. I lightly pulled away but he pulled me back in. I laughed and whispered, “babe?” He buried his face in the crook of my neck. The roughness of the stubble on his chin tickled. He kissed my neck slowly before answering, “Yes?”
“What’s wrong?” He glided his nose up my neck to my ear making my heart race and a cold shiver run down my spine. “I just wanna be close to you.” He murmured. I giggled.
“All day I couldn’t touch or hold you in the slightest way because of stupid paparazzi. Now I get you all to myself.” I was hesitant for a moment before answering, “Well maybe…if we told people about us…things could be different.” He stiffened then released an aggravated sigh. “Boo, I thought we already talked about this?” I thought back to the last time we had this discussion. We yelled back in forth in disagreement. Zayn thought it would be best for us to keep our relationship on the down low because of all the hate I might get. I disagreed by inferring that I could handle whatever hate came my way and he should just worry about himself. It’s been weeks later and I still couldn’t get him to budge. “I know…but it would make things easier! Zayn, you could kiss me anytime you want! Think about it?” I said calmly. I didn’t want any confrontation. I just wanted this to be easier. I was tired of sneaking around. But I knew the consequences that came along with being in this relationship. He took a slow breathe in. “I-I don’t know.”
“I know you want what’s best, but Zayn…you’re not the one who this is gonna be happening to the most.”
“I know! I just don’t wanna see the tears and hurt in your eyes when someone says you should go die because of me Max!” I was silent for moment.
“Fine.” I mumbled. He placed his forehead on mine and looked into my eyes.
“Look…I know it’s hard. I just really need you to understand that I couldn’t stand to see this beautiful face in pain.” he said grazing his hand across my cheek then placing it on my neck. “Especially because of me…” He trailed looking down. I kissed him softly. “Don’t worry, babe. You won’t” I was so naïve.
Two days later and here I was sitting on the hotel bed surfing Twitter. I had this momentous idea. I knew Zayn wouldn’t approve. Compose new tweet….I starred at those words for a good ten minutes before taking the first big step and pressing it, making the box appear bigger. I focused on the blinking cursor. I don’t remember what came over me that second, but it was strong. My fingers started to type the fastest they could. “Yes, the rumors are true. Zayn and I are a couple and I love him more than anything. He means the world to me!” Before I could think of the significance to my actions, I pressed tweet. Within seconds, it seemed, there was two-hundred replies. I quickly scanned thru them eagerly. “You lying bitch!”
“Oh my gosh I knew it! You guys are cute together!”
“You’re so ugly! Go DIE!” another read. I felt my phone vibrate and Zayn’s solo in “Taken” ring loud.
“What did you just do?” I heard a hushed angry voice.
“…I don’t know what you’re talking ab-”
“Cut the crap Max! You know exactly what I’m talking about! I thought we agreed-I thought I could trust you to just do this one thing! This one thing I asked you to do!”
“Zayn, babe, calm down! It’s not that bad!” I looked at my screen another six-hundred tweets were stacked on. #ZaynandMax was a worldwide trending topic.
“Max! I’m looking at all of the things people are saying now! But that’s not what I’m mad about! No! I’m mad that I had to find out thru paparazzi, paparazzi, that you told everyone!” I took a deep breathe, filling my lungs with freezing air. “I’m sorry.” I mumbled. “I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry for…what I did. It was a big mistake, but I regret nothing. Zayn, we don’t have to hide anymore. Everything will be okay.” I evenly reassured him. I heard faint voices on his end of the line then a sigh from him. “Look, I gotta go. We’ll talk about this later. Love you.” He hung up before I could reply. I bit my bottom lip and continued on reading tweets. There was ,honestly, more hate than love. Maybe Zayn was right.
After we discussed it, Zayn and I agreed to just go with the flow from here on out. Like we actually had a choice. Everywhere we went photographers, interviewers, and fans were there. Suffocating us with questions. The hate on Twitter, YouTube, and Tumblr was starting to get to me. It seemed like each day there was more and more. How many people wanted me to die? I smiled when Zayn was around and tried to stay away from social networking sites as much as possible but…who could resist? One night when Zayn left to talk to some fans downstairs, I ran across some pretty nasty things on the internet. People wanted me to kill myself. If I didn’t they were willing to do it for me. There was a whole entire site dedicated to me. Hating me. When I looked in the mirror, all the things people said about me stood there in the mirror. Every negative thing, I saw. I couldn’t help the overbearing pain that filled my heart. Soon the pressure began to be too much and I burst in to tears. I sobbed so hard that I shook and my phone clattered to the floor. Soon I was on the bathroom floor with my knees pulled up to my chest, and my face in my hands. “Babe!?” I heard Zayn asked confused. A fear in his voice I hated to hear. Warm arms pulled me close to his body. “What happened?” I couldn’t answer. He must have saw my phone on the floor because he picked it up and scrolled thru everything I was reading. I felt his body congeal next to me as he whispered, ‘Why?” He put my phone down and pulled me closer softly kissing my forehead. “Boo…you know none of these things are true, right?” I sat silently. I didn’t wanna think about it anymore. He turned me to face him. His face was sorrowful as a tear streamed down his cheek. “I told you-I-I never wanted to see you like this! I knew this would happen!” he picked up my phone and angrily chucked it. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life! I know you think I’m just saying that, but I’m not. I’m serious. Everything about you is absolutely perfect. From your gorgeous hair to your toes. You deserve to be here just as much as anybody else does. You will always be perfect. Okay? I love you.” He said kissing me. “I love you.” he said again.
“I love you too.” I said. He stood up then lifted me up off the floor and carried me to our bed. “Get some rest.” He ordered as he laid down behind me and pulled me close. All that crying made me tired.
The next morning I woke up to an empty bed. No Zayn. I stared at the empty space and there was a note.
I love you more than anything. I need you to, first, remember that. The decision I made was not easy. It took all the strength in the world to do it. I know right now it may seem stupid, but it will help you. You will no longer be sad because of me and my career. I hope you find someone that can be with you all the time and kiss you in public without you having to fear for your life. You deserve it. You deserve nothing but the best. That’s why I’ve chosen to leave. We can no longer be together. I’m so, so sorry for all of the pain I’ve caused you. Please don’t forget how much I love you and I’m only doing this for the best.
I gasped as a tear slid from my eye. I threw the note and quickly grabbed the hotel phone. I dialed Zayn’s number as fast as I could. He didn’t answer. I hung up and called Liam’s phone.
“Hello?” He answered.
‘Where’s Zayn?” I asked impatiently. My voice was raspy and weak.
“Max are you okay?”
“Where the hell is Zayn? Let me talk to Zayn, Liam!” I yelled.
“Max…I can’t- I can’t let you do that.”
“Why? Where is he?” I sobbed letting the phone slip out of my hands. I put my face in my ands and cried. This was all my fault! If only I listened to Zayn in the first place, this would have never happened. “MAX” I heard Liam yelling. I put the receiver up to my ear. And whispered, “Yes?”
“He wanted me to tell you…to watch his video.” I was silent for a moment.
“What video?” He didn’t answer he just hung up. I frantically grabbed my laptop from the bed-side table and later found that Zayn had a twit cam last night. I clicked play. In the video Zayn was sitting shirtless in a room. He looked miserable. He just sat and stared at the screen for a bit before he spoke.
“Tonight I saw some of your messages to my love, Max. I was so…disappointed- No! disappointed doesn’t even describe the way I’m feeling right now towards some of you. Because I saw some pretty nasty shit.” He paused, bit his lip, then looked down. “ Telling someone to go and die and that they are worthless, stupid, and ugly isn’t right. But what I don’t understand is why? Why you would even think to send her something like that? Because we’re together? Because you want me? Well you can’t. I’m taken. If you were really my fans and you loved me like you said you did…you wouldn’t do this to someone I love. Max is the most beautiful, kindest person that I have ever known and I don’t see why some of you are so cruel.” he paused again, putting his face in his hands. “This is all my fault.” I could barely hear him mumble. He sat up straight and looked at the camera. “Max, if you watch this…I love you SO much. I do. You mean more than the world to me and I’m sorry for what has been happening to you. I would do anything FOR this to stop.” He stopped as if he just ran across this brilliant idea. “Okay so you guys don’t want Max and I together? Fine! Then we’re not together anymore…just leave her alone! Do you feel better now? You got what you wanted.” I saw a tear fall from his eye before the screen flashed black signaling the end of the video. I picked up the receiver and dialed Liam’s number again. Please answer!
“Liam…you have a girlfriend right? Do you love her?”
“…more than anything.”
“So you understand that if she just went away one night and never came back…that you would be torn inside? That’s what’s happening to me! - I need to know where Zayn is. Would you please tell me?” He sighed.
“He’s at the hotel. Room 37, floor 2.”
“Thank you!” I said then hung up. I didn’t even care what I was wearing. I didn’t care I looked loathsome. I ran straight to the stairs and down to floor two.
When I got to Zayn’s room I knocked on the door and he opened immediately. “Max…” he said.
“Zayn! Why did you leave?” He stood starring at me.
“I don’t want you to hurt anymore.”
“Babe, I hurt the most when you left. I felt like I needed you the most this morning…and you weren’t there!” I said with tears rolling down my cheeks. He reached forward and pulled me close. “I love you!” He said.
“I love you too. Please come back. I-I need you more than ever right now.” I pulled away and motioned at my clothes to make my point. “I’m atrocious right now.” He seemed hesitant.
“I don’t know…what about the people-”
“Who cares about them! Ignore the haters! We’ve got each other. We always did.” He smirked. I stepped forward and pressed my lips on his. He pulled us both in and shut the door. His lips found their way to my neck and his hands to my waist. I pulled away. “First, you need to promise me that when times get rough…you will not leave me. You‘ll be here?” I said looking him dead in the eyes. He smiled.
“Till the end.” He whispered.