"Everything is contingent, and there is also chaos."

Contingent (Adjective):
1. Dependent on something that is uncertain
2. Something that may or may not happen; possible


5. Chapter 4: Christian?

Lou P.O.V.

It's Saturday and I still felt like yesterday was just a big dream. I have the three words Michael blurted out stuck in my head: "Luke likes you!"

On the other hand, Christian invited me out today. At least this is going to be a distraction fro what happened yesterday. I'm serious though! I can't stop thinking about it! It rings and rings inside my head! How do you make it stop?

* I should really get ready. I decided to put on a The 1975 band tank top. Its white and has a floral design. I put on ripped skinny jeans to complete the look. I also put on some high top Converse that has a white and black rose design. I didn't feel like adding any accessaries because it's me hanging out with my ex who wants to express me so we can be together again. Plus, this is not a 5SOS concert or something fancy. *

I looked at myself in the mirror. I don't like bad and it's obvious that I'm not trying. I left my hair out and natural to seem like I had some effort.

I heard a knocking at the door. Christian's here. I opened the door and said,"Hi."

"Hey Lou! You look nice today! Are you ready?" Christian excitedly said. He seemed to have his hopes up too high. He looked good today too. He had on a plain aqua colored shirt that brought out his green eyes, black pants, and sneakers that were about the same color as his shirt.

"Yeah I'm ready and same to you too." I smiled at him as we walked out the door. "So where are we going?"

"I thought that it'd be nice to just take a walk around campass and probably get some ice cream." I looked at him and he seemed so happy to be with me. I might as well as be the same.

"Oh that sounds cool, Chris!"

We continued walking and he started, "I still see that you're into bands. You still seem like the same girl I met."


"I mean you're still smart and cute and cool."


"Are you still into that boyband? What was it five es-o-es?"

OMG! I want to kill someone right now! I try to keep my chill with him. "It's not a boy band it's a band. It's called five sauce not five es-o-es. And yeah I am."

He seemed scared like I was about to scream at him. He thought right though. "Well, I see that then."

There was silence again when we walked. Then I felt a slight touch on my hand. Jesus! He wants to hold my hand and we're not even dating. Sometimes I just can't with people. I moved my hand away quickly. Why did I agree to do this again?

I moved my hand but down where it was before. This time he asked,"You don't mind if-"

"No, it's ok," I interjected. Whatever, i don't care. I'll just play along. Stupid Nate. i've should've never listen to him.

Now we we're walking in silence holding hands. What progress huh? I mean his hands felt soft and I felt comfortable in them.

We went to the ice cream shop finally. I got rocky road and he got pitacho. I looked at Chris and I think I've done it. I wasn't friendly, obviously, and now he doesn't want to talk. At least he still remembers that I need my space at times. I guess that's why he's quiet.

We had our ice creams and our hands were free from each other. I decided to grab his free hand and lead him to a bench nearby and we sat down. I smiled at him and he seemed satisfied about what I've done.

"Um, so it's a nice day right?" I commented. I quickly shut my mouth by licking my ice cream.

He turned to me. "Yeah, it is. Can I ask you something?" He asked.


"What happened to us? Why did we fall apart?"

He's acting deep. But, now that I think about it, I don't really know. "I haven't really thought of that. Why? I don't know." I paused for moment. "You haven't changed a bit. You still ask a lot questions." I giggled.

"You haven't changed either. You're still introverted and have that cute giggle." I blushed.

We were done with our ice cream, so we just started to stare at each other. Chirstian's were a clear, bright green. I haven't noticed how they looked until now. We leaned in closer than before. He soon went in and kissed me. His lips brushed against mine. I didn't give in. I broke free and just looked at him another time. I went in and kissed him back. This time both of us were in it. I haven't kissed someone in so long that I had that feeling again. Finally, we broke away. I looked down shyly and defenseless.

"I'm sorry, I just-"

I looked back up. "No, it's ok."

"So, do you think you're up for a party tonight?" Chris questioned.

I replied, "Yeah, I'm not that busy. Where?"

"Remember my friend, Joshua?"

"I think I do."

"The one part of that frat."

The memory popped back into my head. "Oh yeah! He always had parties."

"He's having one tonight. I'll pick you up at eight."

"Wait, one thing. I don't have anything to wear."

He smiled. "Oh yeah, you're not into dresses. Don't you have that black one I got you that other time? I remembered you looked beautiful in it."

Whoa! I actually think I kept that, weird. "Yeah I think I still have it. So, eight right?"

"Yup, I'll pick you up."

"Bye! See you later!" I waved at him and walked away to go to my apartment.

I agreed to go to a frat party with Christian. I forgot how those were. Plus, I don't drink as much. I wonder how I'm going to survive that.

• • •

Luke P.O.V.

Half of my day consisted of interviews and the other half is just going to be a break for myself because I really need it. The only question I have in my mind at the moment: What is Lou doing?

I mean I should text her if i want to really know. You know what I should make someone else responsible of that decision. I'm sharing the room with Ashton, so I might as well.

"Ash," I called.

Ash responded, "Yeah, Luke."

"Say either yes or no. Which ever one that comes to you first."

Ashton gave me a confused look. "Um, yes. But what is this for?"

"Nothing. You don't need to know."

"What is it? Luke tell me."

"Nothing really."

"Please! I want to know!" Ash started to get all jumpy and peppy. "Please! Say it!"

"I just wanted to text Lou and didn't know if i should or not."

A huge smile grew on Ashton's face. "Oh, you really like her do you?"

I ignored him and I texted Lou.

Me: Hi :-)

"Yeah, I do. But, don't rub it in my face ok."

Lou: Oh hey Luke :P

Me: What's up?

Lou: I got invited to a frat party and I'm trying to find a dress

By who though. Does she have a boyfriend? The chances of me getting her is zero.

Me: oh cool

Lou: Not really tho

Me: Why?

Lou: my ex wants to get back with me... blah, blah, blah... idk how I feel about it. really sux tho

He's probably going to get her. Fuck, I never do anything right.

Me: Oh

Lou: but then again he's nice...But I don't really like dresses

Look right there, proof that he's going to get her.

Me: I mean ur pretty...wats the problem

Why did I just text that? I really need someone to slap me.

Lou: srsly no... I could send a selfie when I'm in it

Me: ok

I guess it wasn't a bad decision after all. What if he does get her? But he's her ex so that means a lot. The fact that he invited her to a frat party means more. I can't really do anything.

Lou: *1 Attachment* Here's how it looks...i don't really like my outfit... i'm better offf putting on some jeans and a shirt

Wow, she looks amazing. She has on a short black dress that is both revealing but concealed on top. The dress shows off her perfectly shaped curves. Hair isn't curly, but it's straightened. It looks as if it is so silky and soft when you touch it. The dress looks as if it was meant for her beautiful self. *

Me: U look beautiful

Fuck! I wrote my feelings out again!

Lou: oh thanx...i gtg... so bye

Me: bye

I made it so obvious and very awkward quickly. I bet she didn't even have to go. But, hopefully she stays safe and doesn't find any trouble at the party. I wish she could be here with me.

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