6. chapter 4
When Michael left Ashton went out I went to my bedroom and went to bed.
*3 in the morning*
I wake up crying I hate this feeling Ashton isn't back so I hug my pillow tighter. My tears spill onto the pillow.i hate this.i can't live with it.
I look into the mirror with disgust. I should just die. I should just go. The tears don't stop. My hands shake. The voices in my head don't go. Just once more. Just to end it. But I'm scared. Scared to live and scared to die. I walk into my bathroom. The cabinet which contains my blade is wide open. My hands shake as I get a pen and paper I start to write *im sorry Ashton and Michael I couldn't do it you always told me I could get through this but it's all to much i can't take it. Don't worry I will be fine when you miss me look to the stars. I love you both so much you are my best friends I don't know what I would have done without you when your time comes I will greet you both with smiles I love you I really do I have to go know I hope you don't dwell on me being gone I love you* I take the blade and with shaking hands cut once twice three times till the blood is spilling out of my arm into the bathroom sink. I continue to cry. Disgusted in what I had done. I tried to clean up my arm but it wouldn't stop bleeding. I started to feel numb. I heard the downstairs door open. I cry and cry not being able to stop.
"Jada" "Jada are you okay". Ashton calls up
I whimper not being able to speak from the pain. But it's pain I deserve. Ashton comes into my bathroom.
"Jada" "Jada no" he said as he came and hugged me and I cry into his chest.
"We need an ambulance" he says ""
"no...no please I deserve this" I say trying not to whimper from the pain. I'm calling one now. I hear the beeping and then distant talking. I see him look at the paper and start to cry.My eyes start to close and my arm feels numb the talking comes to a stop the feeling gone. I couldn't feel anything.
I don't know if this chapter is okay could you please tell me lol so yeah I'm getting to the main story now and I know I deleted the first two paragraphs I really didn't like them hope it's okay have a good day c.a.l.mkindagirl