My name is Toby Rodgers.
I have Tourettes, Insomnia and CIPA (congenital insensitivity to pain anhidrosis)
I guess i'm lucky to be alive.
But sometimes the voices in my head make me decide that i'd rather be dead.


15. Toby

I kick up stones steadily as I walk up the gravel path to the bus stop.

I spot her standing under a lamppost, the light highlighting her face. Her teal tipped hair curled and framing her face perfectly. She was wearing her trusty black converse, white pleated skirt and striped top.

As I got closer I noticed that she had a familiar black necklace around her neck. She wore it everyday, but it had never stuck out like this before. It made me wonder if it really was a necklace at all.

She held her notebook in one hand, the other hand behind her back.

I grinned as she noticed me, she smiled and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Hi!" I said cheerfully,

"Hi!" She replied, gracefully taking my hand and walking in time with my steps.

We walk for a good five minutes before I ask her about her necklace,

"Oh this?" She laughs uneasily,

"You don't have to answer if you-"

"It was my brothers," She says suddenly, cutting me off. "It's just a shoelace."  

"Your brother's shoelace?"

She nods, "He died in a car crash three years ago," She explained, making me feel suddenly horrible for bringing up so many bad memories. "That's why I moved here, That's why I don't tell anyone my real name, and why I never go home."

"You never go home?" I asked concerned, She shakes her head with tears in her eyes. 


She wipes her face and I hug her, but then she buries her head into my chest and cries for a while.

"Can I ask you one last question?" 

She nods, her head still buried in my chest.

"What is your real name?" I ask after she calmed down a little,

"My birth name was Jennie."

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