My name is Toby Rodgers.
I have Tourettes, Insomnia and CIPA (congenital insensitivity to pain anhidrosis)
I guess i'm lucky to be alive.
But sometimes the voices in my head make me decide that i'd rather be dead.


14. Toby

"Well that's just F**KING GREAT! Well done Toby, you just happen to fall for the girl that's a freakin' mind reader!"

Jeff yells at me for more than five minutes before Brittany steps in,

"Alright can we just stop and think for a minute?" She sighs, "If she knows who you are then..."


"No we just need to invite her to the mansion... We can talk it through, right?"

"BABE YOU'RE A FREAKING GENIUS!" Jeff yells, and spins Brittany around.

I stand and laugh,

"Well, if you're quite finished." I manage to choke out while laughing hysterically.

Jeff gives me the eyeball then laughs too, 

All the boys gather around as we explain ( that means, E.J, Ben, hoodie, Masky and Liu)

And soon we're all ready to invite Tennessee,

I find her after about ten minutes of looking, and sit next to her.

As usual I look down at her notebook, The words are highlighted in two different colours.


I love your hair, your smile, your clothes
I love your cankles and your elephant nose
I love your freckles and your eyes
Don't forget about her thunder thighs

Girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven
It hurt, she landed on her face
Girl, I need to put you on my "to do list"
Or my hit list, whichever really works
If you were a booger I'd pick you first
Well I'd lick you first

Girl, you're everything I (don't) want
You're everything I (don't) need
Without you I can barely (finally) breath

You're so fat
You got arrested at the airport for 10 pounds of crack
Not even Clinton would sleep with you
When trucks back up they beep like you
And no one wants to be with you
I never want to see you again

You're like the elephant man
It looks like you seriously stopped a van with your face
Your face is like the sun
Yep, it burns my retinas
You have beautiful puppy dog eyes
Maybe you should go to the vet

You smell like a pig and you look like a fish
If you were a cow I'd put you right on a dish
You're crazy like a monkey you belong in a zoo
If you were a horse I'd turn you right into glue

Your eyes are like a pond in which the fish of beauty swim
You have a mustache like my dads, you really need a trim
All I really wanted to say
Is I love (hate) you

She looks over at me and looks down guiltily,

"Look i'm sorry-"

She starts to apologize but I silence her with my lips,

It was all kind of accidental but I liked it all the same...

I suddenly realized what i had just done and moved back about a metre,

"I'm so s-sorry...I didn't mean to d-do t-that..." 


But luckily she just laughs off the awkward atmosphere, and says, "You did come over her to say something?"

"O-oh yeah," I say grinning awkwardly, "I don't suppose you want to join us at the mansion later?"

"I don't know," She says and my face drops into puppy dog eyes, "I'm scared Jeff will kill me..." She says and I laugh.

"No he won't I'll protect you." I said and gave her an encouraging hug.

"Okay." She said, GET IN!

I stood up and brushed down my clothes, "I'll see you tonight then?"

She nodded, "You want to meet near the bus stop?"

"Sure. Five O'clock? I'll pick you up?"

"Sounds good." 

She stands up and kisses me on the cheek before heading home.

Five O'clock, trust me I won't be late.

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