I shot up from the bed; I was in screaming and had fresh tears streaming down my cheeks. Cutting off my scream I brought my knees up to my chest, rocking back and forward. It was just a dream, just a dream. It wasn’t real. I repeated in my head in attempt to calm myself down. It had been the same dream I had had the day Frank and the guys had come to get me. It had ended earlier this time however, just after Frank had sat on me. I let out a sob as I started to think the events of yesterday being just a dream as well. Frank was probably still dead and I was still in that cell, or maybe I had been moved. It wouldn’t have been the first time I had been moved, quite often Korse would move me to this bedroom like place and…never mind. The horrible memories of those nights flashed continuously in my mind, just causing me to sob louder. Realising I was having another panic attack I attempted to get my breath under control and squeezed my eyes shut tighter. I rocked back and forth more trying to stop shaking.
Breaking me from the conference I was having with myself, something touched my bare shoulder. I screamed and jumped back. Looking up more I saw that the lights had been turned on and that a red headed boy was crouched in front of me with a worried look plastered on his face.
It was Gerard.
I let out a shaky sigh of relief realising that the rescue had been real and that I was safe. More sobs and tears escaped, there out of happiness now but with the past 6 years of hell playing like a slideshow in my head, there were mostly sad at the same time. He sighed, looking at me with sad eyes and tried to comfort me with rubs on the shoulder. I shook more violently and leaned into his hand, as he softly said “Amber you’re safe. It okay, you’re safe. Ghoul’s just outside. Nobody’s going to hurt you.” In attempt to calm myself down I tried to wipe the tears from my face, but failed when they just kept falling. He got up and I thought he was about to leave, but instead he came and sat next to me. He pulled me onto his lap and into a gentle hug. He swayed slightly as I wet his t-shirt with my tears.
After a few minutes, thankfully, I’d calmed down a bit and had stopped sobbing even though the odd tear would still find its way out of my eye. I was still shaking but I felt much better. I looked up at him and was about to say thank you when he accidentally interrupted me by shouting “GHOUL! GHOUL! COME HERE!” He looked back down at me and smiled weakly. I smiled back and mumbled “Thank you.” We both looked at the doorway awaiting Frank, or Ghoul’s, entrance. Noticing my nervousness his arms got tighter around me and I re-buried my head in his chest. He muttered a small “Where is that asshole?” which made me smile slightly. Then, as if on, clue I heard someone running into the room and shout “What? What happened? Party?” As the footsteps got closer, Frank let out a quiet “Oh” when his eyes rested on me. Party released me from his grip and I was paced onto Ghoul’s, who had now sat down on the couch, lap. He put his smaller tattooed arms round me and started to rock me like Party had. “Thanks Party.” He mumbled as he played with the ends of my hair as I cried into his t-shirt as well. “Welcome. Anyway I’m gonna go check on Jet.” Party said rubbing his neck awkwardly. Frank nodded at him and he slowly walked out of the room; leaving me and Frank alone. “What’s wrong Amber?” He asked as I brought my head out of his head and look up at him with wet eyes. He looked down at me with sad eyes and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. Swallowing, I replied croakily “I-it was just a-a dream. I’m s-sorry.” I felt so bad for disturbing Party and Ghoul, especially over something that wasn’t even real. He shook his head at me and squeezed me tighter. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Do you wanna tell me what you were dreaming about?” I rapidly shook my head. He smiled back at me and loosened his grip on me. I was calmer now and hardly shaking or crying. I shook my head at him. “Oh ok, do you want to go to sleep?” I shook my head again, which caused him to chuckle slightly. “Oh I missed you so much.” He said pulling me back in the hug. He squeezed me really tight on purpose. “Uh F-Frank c-c-can’t breathe.” His body vibrated as he chuckled. “I know.” I laughed as he let go of me. He grabbed my wrists and went to say something, when I winced at the small stab of pain in them. He looked at me with a confused expression as I snatched my wrists back and rubbed them. I looked down at my now red wrists, eyeing up the white scars and still fairly red marks. I felt more tears drop down my cheeks and my hands began to shake. Frank’s fingers appeared on my arms as he traced the scars. He bent down his head and kissed the newest red marks comfortingly. “What happened?” He said quietly looking at me kindly in the eye. I took a deep shaky breath and croaked out “The scars that…um…look l-like holes are…um…b-bite marks. The straight line o-ones are either...um…oh god…um…either kn-nife or w-whip marks.” I struggled to say as I blocked out the returning memories and focused on Frank’s shocked face. He looked older since the last time I had seen him and slightly stressed. His hair had gotten quite long, for a boy that is, and was still a dyed black. You could see where the dimples were when he smiled, which he used to do often. His eyes were clear but slightly shiny as tears started to appear in them. I sighed and pulled my arms away from him, crossing them near my chest. It stayed silent for a bit as Frank just stared at my arms with an unreadable expression plastered on his face.
After a bit he finally broke the silence. “D-do you…um…have any more?” I looked up at him with the tears still falling silently and nodded my head weakly, I remembered the whip and claw marks on my back and the odd one on my neck. Most of the ones on my back were from the first 2 years I was there, when I was more rebellious, but all the scars on my wrist were from all different times in the 6 years I had been there. The neck ones, though, were mostly from Korse or earlier today when the guys came to get me. I shuddered slightly looking down at my pale crossed arms.
“Um…can I see t-them?” He asked cautiously, not wanting to upset me more or seem like a pervert or something. I nodded slowly and turned my back to him. He seemed to understand and lifted my clothing off my back as I hugged the blanket for comfort. He gasped in shock and put his cold hand on the scars, tracing them. I shivered and just hoped he wasn’t disgusted too much.
I lifted up her dress, exposing her back. I gasped in shock as I saw the countless whip marks buried into her skin. She also had the words ‘The Weapon’ marked out on her upper back between her shoulder blades, the letters were crooked and scruffy, looking like they had been done with a knife. She shivered slightly as I brought my hand up to the letters and traced them lightly with my fingers. What had they down to her? She was so broken, not just on the outside but on the inside as well. She was only 20 and had scars that nobody should have even in a whole lifetime. As I looked more closely at her pale back I could see small faint scratches along the bottom of her back. Moving my hand I traced them as well and realised that these were nail marks. What the fuck had they done to my baby sister?
Song: Brother by Gerard Way