Standing in front of the mirror, I smile slightly, finally happy with the way I look. I'm wearing my ripped black skinny jeans, a grey midriff and a blue flannie. It took me almost two hours to get ready, I have to be good enough for him, although I'm already certain I'm not. Luke texts me to say he's here, and I can't help the feeling of excitement that's bubbling up inside me. I've taken to repeating the phrase "we're just friends" over and over in my head before I see him, because I keep thinking that we aren't, I keep wanting things from him that I can't have. I won't be able to have. I'm too young, he said so himself, after work, in his car. My brain went into an instant denial that I've been trying to get out of ever since.
Grabbing my mimco wallet and phone, I take one last look at myself before walking down the stairs, a slight skip in my step. I quickly pick up my Doc Martens, before opening the door lavishly and greeting a handsome looking Luke with what I hope is a cute smile.
"Hey Mim," he says happily as he gives me a quick hug, before we walk to his car.
"Where do you wanna go today?" He asks me, opening his car door and getting in as I do the same. I consider saying 'your bedroom', but think better of it, only smirking slightly.
"Um, I don't mind, wherever you want I guess." I smile at him, and he furrows his brow, slowly driving down my driveway.
"No no no, you have to choose somewhere!" He insists, and I pout at him.
"Why can't you choose? I'm the girl, I'm not meant to choose where we go..." I trail off, knowing that I've said the wrong thing, and cursing myself for not entering reality when I got into the car.
"This isn't a date, so I can't leave your driveway until you decide where we're going."
"Then I guess we won't be leaving my driveway." I say, raising an eyebrow sassily.
"You're so indecisive! But fine, I think I know somewhere." I smile, content with the fact that he's not making me choose. I don't know why I don't want to. No, actually I do. I don't want to decide where we go because I don't go out with guys, ever. I know places that are appropriate for the girls and I, but not Luke and I.
He turns up the music, just as 'Hey Princess' by Allstar Weekend comes on, and he sings at the top of his lungs, trying to match the volume of the song. I laugh at him, and sit back in my seat, excited about the fact that I have a whole car trip with him, uninterrupted.
I get out of the car and immediately squint in the harsh sunlight, before my eyes adjust, and I look around. Luke's parked us next to what looks like a marina. People sit at the waters edge, hoping to catch fish, as small boats float aimlessly on the deep blue water. I smile, basking in the warmth of the day, happy to be here with Luke.
"Welcome to Berowra Waters!" He says cheerfully, shutting his car door and strolling over to join me as I look out at the water. I'm still smiling when I turn to face him, and he smiles back, his blue eyes shining. I feel as though I might faint if he looks at me like that once more. Wow.
"Your face is all sparkly." He observes, and I can't tell whether it's a good or bad thing. I scrunch my nose up self-conciously.
"It's my powder, it is a bit shimmery I suppose. It's not that bad is it?" I bite down on my bottom lip; a nervous habit.
He thinks for a moment, before saying, "No, it's cute." I smile, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. It's dangerous to be this attached to someone you know doesn't feel the same way, but I can't help myself, especially when he flashes those little smiles that make my insides turn to mush. Still, I'm terrified of my willingness to change things for him. I glance at my nails, painted red, because Luke has a thing for red nails. I make a mental note to try a different colour next time.
We walk side by side down to the little waterside restaurant, to have a look around and see if we want to eat here, only to find the restaurant full of old people. I giggle, before turning to look at the calm water, speckled with a million fragments of light, it sparkles under my gaze. Boats bob up and down rhythmically on the water, and I smile to myself, content. I see Luke walking ahead of me, and I follow him all the way around the building back to the carpark. We stand outside the sun to try and decide whether we should stay and eat here, or find somewhere else, maybe not full of so many old people. Luke leans against the fence, and I do a twirl in front of him, happy to be in his company and not really caring that we drove half an hour to get here and now might leave. It doesn't bother me because I love driving with him. I've claimed the passenger seat now, I could sit there for hours next to him, just driving with no destination.
"Okay, you decide now Mim, do you want to stay here, or no?"
"Mm, I wanna go, but I don't know where, so you choose that part?" I poke my tongue out impishly and he rolls his eyes, unable to hide his smile. Man, that smile is everything. I am in so deep I can't even see the sky anymore. Shit.
We end up back in the car driving towards Dural, both of us joking around and laughing with each other. I love this, being with Luke in his car, him playing with his lip ring absentmindedly and me secretly stealing looks at him, but I'd love it hell of a lot more if I knew it was leading up to something more than just friends. The problem with me if that I always want to label things, it drives me insane that Luke and I don't have a label. Except if I asked him he would say we're just friends, even though I know that's bullshit. You don't kiss your friends. Well I don't.. Okay I did, once, but that was hell of a mistake, and a story for another time!
We end up at a little cafe called Tedesco's that I went to once for breakfast with mum, it's a cute place. Luke and I take a seat outside in the sunshine, and I can't help but admire the way the sunlight filters through the trees. For the middle of winter, today sure is beautiful. Maybe I'm just biased because I get to spend the day with Luke, yep, that's probably it!
The waitress comes out with menus for us both, and offers us drinks. I ask for water, and then study the way Luke speaks to her, his charming smile and his animated blue eyes make him irresistible, and I find it hard to control the desire to plant a big kiss on his lips right there and then. Oh my, if that boy could hear my thoughts, I'd be in a world of trouble.
"What are you having?" Luke asks me, smiling that gorgeous smile of his. I bite my lip self consciously, before scanning the menu quickly.
"I think I want pasta, maybe the gnocchi... what about you?"
"That chicken baguette thing right -" He points at my menu, "there!" I smile at him, and he smiles back, his eyes light up and send waves of butterflies towards my stomach. I laugh a little, and soon we're exchanging stories about our week, the conversation flows easily between us, and once again, I thank whoever's been granting my 11:11 wishes, because he is every single one.
"Mim, I really need to go, I've got to drop you home..." Luke says pleadingly, and I nod my head slowly. We've been driving around for an hour now, and I won't let him take me home. Every time we get near my driveway I tell him I don't want to go home. He probably thinks I'm some kind of crazy person, but the truth is, I really really want to kiss him before I go. But I don't want to make the first move, so I'm sort of just hoping he'll realise soon enough and take the hint. Except he isn't. This is so frustrating! He asks if he can drop me home, and I shake my head vigorously, yet I don't offer up a reason either.
Luke stops the car next to a park and takes off his seatbelt, so I do the same. He turns to me and before I have time to make up a lame reason as to why he can't possibly drive me home, his lips are on mine and the rest of the world melts away in a second. I close my eyes and put my hands on the back of his neck, as he presses his lips softly against mine, the cold metal of his lip ring tickling the corner of my mouth. He sucks on my bottom lip gently and an involuntary moan escapes my lips. I dig my nails into the back of his neck insistently, wanting more, and he pulls me onto his lap. Our lips meet again and this time his tongue makes its way into my mouth, and he's kissing me so gently I can't breathe, I don't want it to end, I don't want him to go.
His hands move from my waist to my back, his fingertips skimming over my bare skin, before he slows down the pace, gives me one last little kiss and then pulls his head away. He absentmindedly strokes a piece of my hair, the traces of a smile on his face.
"I really need to go now Mim," Luke whispers tenderly. I bury my face into his neck, inhaling the familiar smell of his cologne that I have come to love so much. I manage to find the will to untangle myself from him and sit back in my own seat, resisting the urge to tell him I can't go home, I can't leave him. I want to stay, I want this to be real.