"Let's go somewhere..." Luke mumbles onto my lips, kissing them softly, and I nod in response, unable to form coherent sentences. I pout as he pulls away, and he laughs, putting the key into the ignition, before the car purrs to life. We've just finished a mammoth shift at Villa Verdi, the last one of the year, December 23rd. This is the last time I'll see him before next year, since we're both plummeting head first into a week of family celebrations tomorrow. The air holds a particular summer smell, it reminds me of hot days spent basking in the sunshine, laughter with good friends, long nights and long conversations. I love summer.
As Luke eases his car out of the carpark, I stare out the window at the world as it rushes by. It seems so empty, it always does at this time, the middle of the night is the loneliest of times. I glance at Luke, his beautiful face is relaxed, he looks young, carefree, I know he's looking forward to a break from work. We drive to the sound of all time low blaring from the speakers, his hand on my thigh, both of us singing.
He pulls in next to the kerb, opposite Cherrytree Park, the one I kissed Josh in a few months ago. I push those thoughts aside, and smile at Luke form the passenger seat. He reaches out and strokes my face, and I'm sure that I'm going to combust, he drives me crazy. "Your smile is beautiful. It stops time." He says gently, his fingers tracing my cheekbones. I'm at a total loss for words, not something that happens very often, but how could I even begin to respond to that? My body makes up for what my words can't, and I kiss him, pouring all my emotions into it.
Things start to get heated, both of our shirts come off in a flurry of impatient tugs, we move so that he's underneath me, his hands roaming my back, mine tangled in his soft blonde locks. He lets out a soft moan when I gently nibble his lip, and my heart flutters at the sound. Before I know it, my bra is off and thrown carelessly onto the back seat, we move against each other in a rhythm, both of us breathless and flushed.
"We should move, back seat?" Luke asks, and I move off of him, opening the car door, and pulling my body out whilst covering my top half with my arms. The little drops of rain are cold when they hit my bare chest, and I shiver involuntarily, my body erupting in goosebumps. Luke gets out after me, shuts the door, and wraps his warm body around my own. with my head against his chest, I can feel his heart beating, a million miles an hour, as it always does. We stay like that for a while, him leaning against the car, me leaning against him. One of his hand strokes down my back rhythmically, and I close my eyes, revelling in his touch, in the closeness of our bodies. The rain is coming down in a fine mist, and once it's started to actually make us damp, we get into the car again, and cuddle up on the back seat.
We're kissing again, slower this time, like we have all the time in the world. A melancholic feeling sweeps over me, as I realise that we don't actually have time at all. We never do these days. Late night kisses, when it suits Luke, seems to be the only time I see him. My thoughts are interrupted as Luke's kisses make their way toward my boobs, and I couldn't think about anything else if I tried. Sweet sensations consume me as he kisses and sucks my sensitive skin, and my hands find their way to the back of his neck, urging him on. His kisses start to move again, this time in a trail down my stomach. He feathers little kisses past my belly button, to just above my jeans. My brain goes into overdrive, as I realise what's about to happen. His hands find my jeans button, and he glances up at me, question in his eyes. I raise my hips, and he undoes my button and zip, before tugging my jeans off. I'm laying across the back seat, with his knees on either side of me as he looks down at me. I cover my chest, extremely uncomfortable under his watch. He pulls my hands away, before kissing my lips. "You're perfect." He whispers, and I close my eyes, shaking my head at him. I try to cover myself up again, but he's too strong. "Mim, you're perfect." I smile, a genuine smile, and hold back the tears that threaten to spill. He is everything. I love him. Not that I could ever tell him.
"Thank you, for everything." I whisper back, lifting my head up to meet his lips. Then we're impatient, kissing hard and fast, my nails clawing into his back as I try to get more, I want more. One of his hands grazes the top of my underwear, before moving over it, his fingers rubbing in a circular motion. I moan into his mouth, before my head tips back, and he starts kissing my neck, adding to the pleasure. He takes his hand away from my underwear and let out a whimper, he chuckles, before licking his fingers, and sliding them under the fabric. I don't even have time to think about how this is a first for me, before his lips are back on mine, and I'm having a hard time focusing on kissing him and feeling everything at the same time. His fingers gain a rhythm, and I moan as waves of sensations overtake me.
It's gone 3am by the time we're too tired to kiss anymore, and we lay against each other, our skin slightly sticky with sweat. My smile seems to be stuck on my face, as his fingers graze over my hips, stroking up and down. Luke and I talk in hushed tones, about normal things, as if we weren't laying against each other in almost no clothing. It's his mum's birthday today, so I know he needs to go, and I have a big neighbourly gathering today, so I really should go too. Still, neither of us seems to have any intentions to move.
Eventually, when we've talked about everything, and my voice is hoarse from the lack of sleep, we decide it's time for us to go. I stand outside the car with Luke, as he helps me get dressed again. I giggle when he pokes me in the side, and run away from him, putting my shirt on at the same time. The sky lets down a little more rain, and the droplets get bigger. I look at Luke, a huge smile spreading on my face. I jog back towards him, and jump at the last minute. He catches me, and I wrap my arms and legs around him, laughing at the cheesiness of it. He lets me down, slowly, so that our lips touch only slightly for a moment, and then mine are pressed firmly against his, and I'm giddy, kissing my Luke in the rain.
I end up staggering into my room at about quarter to 4, and I almost fall asleep straight away, but my phone buzzes; a text from Luke. I smile to myself, he's probably checking that I got in okay. He's so sweet.
I can't do this anymore Mim. I don't contemplate on thoughts or emotions like you, I just do stuff. But I realise to anyone that's not me, that this dynamic isn't fair. This whole situation is just wrong, and I feel like you're getting more reliant on me, but I'm an asshole Mim. I can't be there for you, I don't want the kind of relationship you do. I don't want to be with you.
I lie completely still. I read the message again, in case I dreamed it. The words stay the same, I read it again. I read it 6 times in total, before dropping my phone to the floor, as tears flow freely from my tired eyes. I push my face against my pillow and bawl into it, the material muffles my sobs. I'm a mess, gripping the sheets, my nose running freely into my pillow, my mascara smearing all over the white sheet. How could he do that? What is going through his head right now? He hangs out with me in his car in the middle of the night, I let him take my bra off, I let him do something to me that I've NEVER done before, and then he pulls this shit?! 'I can't do this anymore Mim', well how fucking sad for you Luke, poor poor Luke, this friendship must be so fucking hard on you. I hate him, God I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. Why, why would he do this to me? After everything we've said to each other, after tonight. He's right, he is an asshole.
I pick up my phone to reply, only to muse for a few moments over what I should say. I could get angry, I have every right to get angry and rant and rage. I decide against it, me getting angry would just make him want to walk away even more. I want to make him feel bad. As bad as I feel.
It's fine. (Y)
I dry my eyes on my blanket, turn my phone off, and fall into a restless sleep.
At 9.15 when my alarm goes off, I smile for a second, my mind completely blank and the day full of potential. I open my eyes slowly, and wince at the tenderness of them when I try to rub the sleep out of them. It all comes rushing back. Luke. I scramble for my phone and turn it on, waiting eagerly to see if he replied.
I'm sorry Mim, I didn't mean it. I just got weird about your reliance on me and my dependence on you for a minute. Please forgive me, I'm an asshole. Are you okay bub? Of course not. I'm sorry, for always fucking you around, being a source of your unhappiness, frustration and sadness. I hope you're doing great xxx
I roll my eyes, screw him.
A/N: HEY! I haven't edited this because I feel really bad about taking ages to put up this chapter, sorry if there are mistakes! And holy shit, 15000 views!!! Keep them coming guys, make sure to share this with everyone!! :D xxxx