Somewhere out there

I'm a girl with too many problems, too many fears. Sometimes I even wonder how I am still here with the amount of cowardice I have.
I've forced myself to push away anybody who could ever love me, simply because I knew we'd lose each other. I've been in too many relationships like this that I didn't want to force anyone else to go through the misery.
You could say it's my fault, then, that I feel so lonely, but I myself blame emotions. We have too many of them, and we're expected to keep track of them all. If it was up to me, I'd ask if would could store some away. Sadly, that's impossible.
Once I moved in with my aunt though, everything changed. I told myself I would change myself, force myself not to push people away, but to welcome them with open arms. Maybe I'd hurt people, maybe I'd hurt myself, but at least I could say I tried.

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