Ocean Blue

’Is this the song the ocean sings?’’ I ask him. ‘’Yes,’’ He answers. ‘’Some of the ocean lives inside of you.’’ I tell him, and I am sure that must be the truth. The ocean lives in his eyes, I had seen it myself, and the ocean lived in his hands too: I could hear it. ‘’It lives inside of you too,’’ He says, and moves his hands down to mine. He lifts them up to my ears and presses them against them. ‘’Did you give some of the ocean to me?’’ I ask him.

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1. I

'’So what are you going to tell me about today?’’ I asked him. Since we had started doing these conversations at night, it had been the peak of the day for me. I do not remember how or when we started doing these conversations, but now it had become a habit that he visited me in the middle of the night, sneaking his way into my room, and telling me about the outside world.

‘’The ocean! One of the most magnificent things on the planet, if you ask me.’’ He caught my eyes and leaned in closer. ‘’The ocean is a lot of water assembled in one place, more water than you can imagine! It is so big it is almost terrifying.’’ He spread is arms, trying to show me how much water the ocean was, I smiled.

‘’When the sunlight hits the water it gets this blue color, and it twinkles… just like the jewels you normally have around your neck. The ocean is almost alive, and some of the water move forwards on top of some of the water that is not moving so much, and then the water, which is on top, hits the water that is under it again.’’ He tries to show how the water moves with his hands again; moving them towards me and then letting them fall. Then he pulls them back. ‘’Then the water goes backward again and start anew. It also makes those soothing sounds, just like a song, and it makes you feel very relaxed.’’

‘’Does the ocean talk? Is the water alive?’’ I look at him, a little stunned. The water I had seen had never sung for me, but maybe it was afraid of me? He breaks a smile for me.

‘’No, the water does not talk. It does not have a voice like us, but it can still make sounds. It is like when we clap.’’ He starts clapping to make a sound: ‘’It is more like that when the ocean makes sounds, but it sounds like a song. The ocean is also not alive, but it holds life. Under the sea, the ocean lives many animals. It is their home.’’ I suddenly understood that the ocean was much bigger than what I had expected. The ocean was something big and impressive, and it was somewhere I could not go. I looked into his eyes and wondered if the blue color he had talked about was like his eyes. Maybe the ocean had the same blue color they had, and maybe the ocean was just as beautiful as they were. I tried to imagine the ocean in his eyes, and suddenly I could see it in front of me, the ocean. Maybe he was a container for the ocean itself.

‘’The ocean can be a little hard to imagine if you have not seen it,’’ He tells me. I do not tell him I had seen it in his eyes. I also do not tell him that he must be a container for the ocean itself. I just nod a little, while looking into his eyes. Maybe he knew I could see something in his eyes, or maybe it was because I did not fully understand him, so I could not fully understand the ocean, and you cannot imagine something you do not understand.

‘’I want to see the ocean,’’ I tell him, breaking the silence between us. He smiles.

‘’Close your eyes.’’ He says, and I do. ‘’This is not as good as the real thing, but it is the best I can do right now.’’

I can feel his hands on each side of my head, both warm and very protecting. They make me calm. He presses his hands to my ears, and I hear a small sound.

‘’Is this the song the ocean sings?’’ I ask him.

‘’Yes,’’ He answers.

‘’Some of the ocean lives inside of you.’’ I tell him, and I am sure that must be the truth. The ocean lives in his eyes, I had seen it myself, and the ocean lived in his hands too: I could hear it.

‘’It lives inside of you too,’’ He says, and moves his hands down to mine. He lifts them up to my ears and presses them against them.

‘’Did you give some of the ocean to me?’’ I ask him and feel how my body suddenly grows tired.

‘’You always had a part of the ocean inside of you.’’ He tells me, and pulls me into his body, brushing his hands through my hair as my breathing turns heavier and heavier.

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