The clicking of the enter key resounded in my head. Every time I think back to that one moment it feels as though it was yesterday as though time stopped and it was just me and the computer. Me and the computer in some hypnotic one way relationship. But I guess the computer was the third wheel here my true love and passion was in the internet. The internet is where all the magic happens. Marionette is my name. Plain, useless and dull Marionette. I guess that is because I am controlled by everyone and everyone controls my every move. I just follow everyone like a sheep. But the thing is everyone is my shepherd. I am a puppet, the clue is in the name. I am 5ft8, tanned, dark brown hair and eyes. I do reasonably well in school depending on how you look at it and not to mention I fall in love with every person I meet. Not literally. But I just become fixated on learning all there is to know about this person. This person who has lived through pain, has a soul and has loved. I can see the window in their eyes unlike any other person. But too bad no one would just let me pull the handle, the handle to their innermost secrets. But usually what happens is people assume, jump to a conclusion no one will try to understand. Or perhaps I came too late and the person has maxed out how many connections society says they could have, or their brain is overwhelmed? Woebegone, dismal is how I feel once I think I have secured this persons innermost and confidence it disappears as fast as the 4 GB data the telephone company gives you.
After endlessly knocking on everyone’s secret vaults of information they had “stored” in their minds. Or just looking for companionship I engrossed myself in study. All I needed to do was memorise a series of facts and regurgitate them on paper. With the correct combination of words and punctuation I secured myself good chances. Chances in society meant having good grades. As I said again I did well. All year I put everything in, even sacrificing a drink of coffee on the actual exam date I was set for the summer ahead. But what did I do? After mindlessly giving to societies inevitable cycle and subjecting myself to drone like behaviour and antics. Of late night study dates and walking away from fun and play. All I wanted to was to find what it meant to live. Internet. The sealed packets of information I desired, the quite kids in class that let out all their voices in the blogs they hold online or the nerds that congregate on group threads or in the Student Room. The internet was a place where the true inner soul of a person and misplaced opinions were sill misplaced to an extent. Or things I genuinely was intrigued to discover, the internet had it. Anonymity or lack of physical presence sadly maximises our chances of doing more. I did not look to print more of the jumble past papers and specifications lying around our bedroom floors that phase had concluded. But things such as how to apply your eyeliner to things to do in London for the day were what I thrived on to exist to make this summer a success… and worthwhile. Sad. But that is life I guess. To get to the point I also needed to embrace my inner creativity I lost the person I remembered and I had once been. Simplicity of thoughts and ideas had perished due to the drone school had turned me into. The internet wasn’t all to give credit to. For my thoughts for the first time in months began to set into momentum. Gathering momentum. Like a waterfall once the rocks were released the ideas all flowed in one euphoric escape. I was able to write a piece of art. A form of beauty to me. I didn’t even realised I had written until I just let my thoughts out. Just like you let out that sneeze you’ve been dying to let out. But you are fearing that everyone’s eyes will turn to you. Once I realised I was back to life I felt the adrenaline I once felt and man did I feel refreshed and I knew I had to share this moment with a community. To know a real person with thoughts and ideas like them existed.