"I wish you would have just stayed gone." I all but shouted. "Do you think it's fair what you did to me? To just end up leaving me, and totally breaking my heart." I walked up to him and tried to shove him as hard as I could muster. Unsurprisingly he didn't budge.
"Bella you have no idea how sorry I am. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving you here as if I never existed." He grazed his fingertip across my cheek.
I momentarily fell into his touch, before snapping back to reality. "Did you ever stop to think what I wanted? Did that ever cross your mind when you were so quick to leave?" He honestly looked remorseful, like he could take everything back if he had the option.
"I will be forever grateful to Jacob that he was here to take care of you." He smiled, looking me in the eyes. "And I can see now you moved on, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised seeing as I asked you to." He moved to stand closer to me, making my heart beat quicker.
I forced myself to take a step back, I wasn't quite sure what emotions I was feeling. Anger? Hurt? Nervousness? Confusion? Yes I was confused. Confused as to why Edward had decided to come back after all this time, especially since I've only just begun to live my life again.
"Jacob has been everything you haven't and more. He would never abandon me without reason. I believe he truly loves me and I believe he would do anything for me." My eyes started to feel tingly like they did before the tears would come. "He has saved me more than once, I owe him so much."
"Bella, do you not think I loved you?" he looked very perplexed. "I loved you more than I ever loved anyone, you were my heart and my soul. To say I didn't love you is just a slap in my face." I could see that I was starting to make him angry. Good.
"You don't do that to someone you so call love." I inched toward him again, I could feel myself getting heated.
"How many times do I have to tell you why I did it? I thought by leaving you I would be keeping you safe. I would rather you hate me for leaving, than to have you hurt or worse die."
"I'm not some fragile little girl, Edward. I knew what I was getting into, and I still chose to be with you because that's what you do when you love someone, you work through your problems and struggles." I don't even know why I was still trying to get through to him. It didn't even matter, he had no hold over me any longer, or at least I thought so.
"You know what, screw this." He took a couple long strides before he was standing right in front of me. I looked up in his green eyes and I could feel the walls that I had built start to crumble down. I could see everything that I wanted with him, but that I would never get, the life I had always imagined.
Before I had time to react he leaned down and pressed his lips down onto mine and that last little reserve I had left evaporated. I tangled my hands in his hair and pulled him down into me, missing the feeling of him against me. He pushed me up against a tree, his movements feeling rushed. It was like I had been awakened, and I shoved against him. And this time I was the one who left him standing there, in the forest alone.
I had awoken with a start, I was sobbing and I couldn't catch my breath. I felt movement next to me. "Hey, hey it's alright, you're just dreaming." It was Jacob, he had come over the night before and had ended up falling asleep.
I quickly looked around, trying to catch my bearings. I got up and proceeded to head to my window. I cracked it for some fresh air. That felt so real, I moved my fingertips to my lips where they still felt tender and swollen.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" How could I possibly tell Jacob that I had been dreaming about him? He would be so angry, and hurt and I honestly wouldn't blame him.
I had turned back around to face him just yet, if I had he would most certainly be able to tell I was holding back the truth. "I don't remember. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to concern you."
This time he stood up and moved his way over to me, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "Bella, you're safe with me. I won't ever let anyone hurt you. You have to believe that."
Now I did turn around, I looked up into his brown eyes and just stared. I reached up on my tippy toes and gently kissed him. I just let go, let go of the dream, let go of the hurt and the sadness.
He spun me and pushed me up against the wall, deepening the kiss, breaking off to trail kisses down my neck, while softly grazing my skin with his hands. He reached the hem of my shirt and started to tug it off. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, he walked around to my bed and laid me on my back. He positioned his weight so he was hovering over me without hurting me.
Another tear escaped, and he kissed it away. "Bella, you are so beautiful."
"Jacob, I don't want to rush anything. I'm scared I'm going to mess everything up." I hesitated for a moment before continuing. "You deserve so much better than me."
"Bella, don't…" I cut him off.
"No, don't say anything. Please. I just want to be honest with you and I want you to know how I'm feeling." Because that was the truth, I was terrified of hurting him when he didn't deserve it