1. Back off.
Ever had one of those days where you just want to stay under your duvet, shut your bedroom door and close the world out, pretending you don't exist?
Like everyone is on your case all the time. Nag nag nag. They don't leave you alone.
Like it's so much effort to go out and see people, even though you want to so bad. But you just can't face seeing anyone. And when you do see people, you pretend it's all ok when it so isn't.
I struggle socially, at work and out of work. I always worry that people judge me before they really know me.
Then there's the everyday public. For me, there's barely anything worse than being crowded by people I don't know. Sharing my personal space with all these strange people. Whether it's on the bus, in a shop, a restaurant, or just waiting.
It's worse when they stare at me. Like there's information spread about me that I don't know about. Some rumour spread about me that I don't know about. Which really unsettles me. What' their problem with me? Is there something on my face or something?
I just wish they would all back off, and just leave me be. I just want to be alone. I can't cope with being overwhelmed like this.
This is generally how I feel most days. My anxiety levels hit a high everytime I leave the house, because I don't always feel safe out there. Even though I seem ok on the outside and appear to be in control, I feel like I'm so out of control.
I just wish I could live a normal life. Without all the worry of my anxiety and the effect it has on me.
Also I wish that some people would stop trying to interfere with my life. I want to live my own life, without people making decisions on it.
Please. Just back off.