MY life has been a disaster ever since I met him. I don't know what right or wrong anymore. I don't even know if my thoughts are my own. Ever since we were one, don't ask me how I'm still a bit confused myself.
Sometimes I wake up with this feeling, like I'm missing something. I'm skipping lapses of time. Sometimes I don't even remember what I did during those periods. I wake up and blood is crusted under my fingernails, scratches and bruises cover my body and I feel so exhausted.
At times I feel like something is scratching at the back of my mind, I feel guilty and dirty as if I had done something wrong, even though I haven't. At least I think I haven't. I kept telling myself they were just dreams. Nightmares. I had done so many horrible things. But I had to. I needed to. I don't know why, but I did.
Sometimes we're left with bad choices and we need to choose the less bad one.
I talk to myself, but its not me. Its someone else. Him. Maybe I'm just going mad and made him up. I'm insane, He has to be real, somehow. Someone.
Lately he keeps appearing more and more. Always wearing a smug smirk on his pale face. He's not alive, but also not dead. An in between, I heard him say once. not possession, not a demon. A bond, a demon. A bond, a demon. I wish I'd remember. but you know the saying, be careful for what you wish for.
A Piercing scream fills the air. Goosebumps travel up my body as I realize the scream is mine. I'm screaming. My hands are red, why are they red? Red and sticky. The red drips from my hands and down to my forearms. Its blood, blood is dripping down my arms and to the floor. But I don't feel any pain. Its not mine, the blood. The red. But if its not mine then who's is it?
A knife lays on my lap. I'm kneeling on the floor. Over something. No, someone. A person. A body. A dead body. Its alive. Neither, an in between. Gurgling sounds come from the man before me. A deep gash on his throat oozed red. Blood. The blood on my hands. I killed him? Why? You know why. No. Yes. Not mine. Not my thoughts. Go away.
Someone's laughing. Me. Not me! Him. Who? Him!
I hurry to my feet snapping out of my thoughts and stumble a few steps back. I look around. I'm alone. No one is here. A dark warehouse. It stinks of old. Its cold. I want to leave but the whispers say no. The whispers. They're mine. My whispers. I'm whispering. Shut up, shut up, shut up! Stars, I'm mad.
Something wet goes down my cheeks, they're tears. Why am I crying? I cant stop. Why? You know why. No. Yes. Stop!
I didn't even know I had gripped the knife. I look at it through tears, they blur my vision but I can see its white bony handle. Now its red, because of me. I know what I have to do, but I don't want to. Its bad.
Who is he? A bad man, if he can be called man. But why? He's bad. Do it. Finish it. "No in between." he whispers. Its not me anymore. He's here. Before me. Haunting me. Taunting me. With a smirk, his smirk. Maybe I'm just having a nightmare, like the other. Wake up, wake up!
In the blink of an eye he's so close I could feel his breath, if he had one. Dead. He's dead. Alive. Neither. An in between. My eyes scan his face. This is the most I've been able to remember, but he's not me. In me. Not. He wants me to do it, alone. On my own. He smiles knowingly, he knows what I'm thinking. How?
His dark eyes seem black, maybe they are. Skin white, too white. It makes me shiver. He scares me. His hair is always slicked back, not one hair moves, ever. Always dark, mixing and blending in the shadows. Still no one sees him but me. No one sees him if he doesn't want to. Or maybe I only see him because I'm crazy. Insane. Mad.
Something caresses my cheek. He's touching me. His cold fingers slide down my jaw. he leans forward and whispers "Do it. You do it." No, no, no, no. Not me "If you won't, I will and you'll still be doing it." I have to. he gets too creative sometimes. He'll carve a drawing in that man's chest just for fun.
Why hasn't he died yet? A pool of red fills the gray floor. But he won't let him die yet. "Serafina." he slurs "Do it." I'm shaking. My body is shaking. Also my head. No, no, I tell him. I think. I didn't speak.
His eyes harden "Fine then. have it your way."
I'M On my knees again. More red. Hear. Nothing. He's stopped The gurgling stopped. Relief fills inside of me. Still, I'll be hearing them in my dreams for so long. I wait for the scream to come, but it never does. Instead I feel good. Relief. The man's body lays limp on my lap. I smile. Not alive. Dead. I killed him. "No in between." I whisper and this time, its me. I say it.
So hellooo. My name is Alex and this is the first story I have written in Movellas. I hope its at least a bit good. Right now this chapter is more of a mini intro, it will get better I promise. And well I suck at making A/Ns. I would really appreciate it if you would comment, type some recommendations. Sorry for the grammar errors I haven't really edited it yet. Im also going to enter this in NaNoWriMo if I still can cuz im not really sure how that works yet but yeah.
Ciao I guess, ;D