An In Between

Serafina Hollows was never considered as someone normal. Much less when she starts hearing voices. Talking to herself, or him. She starts blacking out and appearing in abandoned chapels covered in blood and bruises. She's starting to suspect the blood wasn't even hers. She knows this weird thoughts aren't hers, their his. Its not her its him.

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9. I didn't do it

 

            


 

 

              We ended up taking a taxi. It was about noon when I arrived home. Mother was hysterical of course but other than that everything went smoothly.

I decided to grab a cup of cocoa and curl up in my bed but before I could reach my room Ryder stops me in the hallway "We need to talk." I sigh and try to evade him but he just gets in the way "No we don't."

He gives me one of his pointed looks. One of the looks he always did when I was little and because he's my brother I'd told him everything, like everything, everything. But not this time, I cant.

"Seriously I'm fine." All things considered. Not good or bad. An in between, I guess. Well, no. Its more bad.

He stares at me for a while and I stare back, blinking contest?

He sighs "Why don't you trust me Ina?" he looks hurt, worried, sad. I'm making all those feelings crawl into my good brother's heart. I feel so guilty.

I don't answer. Instead I wrap and arm around his neck and kiss his cheek "I love you big brother." I murmur and sneak into my room. When I close the door I lean against it closing my eyes. I hate lying to him. I tell Ryder everything.

At last I lay on my bed setting my cup on the night stand. Its not so hot anymore, what was I thinking? Cocoa? I groan and rub my eyes. I'll just sleep. Yeah sleep, sounds good.

No one knows about the stitches. That's good, Mother would probably have a tantrum if she knew. They don't hurt much anymore, still if I do any sudden movements they burn. I wonder if our bond gives me some healing ability or something. That would be cool.

 

       @$%#?*:)&!:(

       

               I dream I'm in the club again. It almost looks like its the real thing, but not quite. I know its a dream. There's some sort of haze. Everything seems to slur and blur sometimes.

I've done something. I know I have. I can feel it deep inside. Something bad. I'm trying so hard to run and hide without someone noticing, but its useless. I end up in a warehouse, where everything started. There's red sticking on the walls, the floor, on my hands, its everywhere.

The scene before me is so disturbing that I know I need to scream but I don't, instead I laugh. Alek laughs.

All of them lie dead on the floor, limbs sticking to strange, unnatural angles. Mother, Eva, the twins, Ryder, Sasha, Kate and Chase. She killed them. I stare at my laughing self. That's not me. It cant. Alek slithers his way behind her wrapping his arms around her waist. "No in between, right love?" he then stares right at me, the real me, with an evil smirk in his pale lips.

I jerk awake not wanting to see more. I'm drenched in sweat, the sheets stick to my skin. I'm panting so hard its a miracle I didn't wake anyone up. I try to even my breaths and calm down, I can feel my heartbeat hammering in my ears. I sit up slowly, I must have trashed in my sleep because my stitches are yelling for attention. I raise my shirt to see angry red starting to rise. I click my tongue annoyed and stand up carefully.

I make my way toward the bathroom, closing the door softly. I don't turn the lights on, lately I've been dreading it. Darkness seems to follow me anyway, I grab some bandages from the first aid kit and start wrapping them around my wound. My hands are trembling from the shock of the dream. I would never do something like that. My friends and family are everything to me, and I'm not a killer. At least not by my own will.

I tie them a little too tight and take a bit longer not wanting to look up. He's here. The chill in the air warns me.

"Don't you think that's a little too tight?" I press my lips together ignoring him. "Oh so we're back to that again."

"I thought you weren't talking to me." I start washing my hands.

"I thought I wasn't human enough to talk." a hint of anger in his voice I raise my eyes to meet his on the mirror. I look away as always, I can never hold his gaze for long. "Why are you so afraid of me? I'm not going to hurt you."

"Maybe." I turn around facing him and lean against the sink "Still, you can hurt my friends, my family."

He furrows his brows eyeing me sideways, "Why would I do that? Unless you wanted me to. With the way you look at your mother sometimes, I actually think you might kill her."

I shake my head. He's right but that's just the heat of the moment. I wouldn't actually kill Mother. "I don't know...I don't know you. You just scare me Alek. You just do"

"I thought I gave you enough answers already."

I walk past him and toward my room. He follows silently, shadowing my moves.

I'm still so confused about him. I don't know if to be scare or safe around him. Nothing good has come from this. I just have more problems than before.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I ask as I start getting into bed.

"I thought you were dying." he says nonchalantly, I just raise an eyebrow, he shrugs. "Your pulse was over the roof. I guess it was a bad dream, or the other way around." he smiles mischievously "Hope I was in it."

He was in it alright but not in the way he thinks. I pull the covers up even though I'm still sweating and close my eyes. The bed dips to the side and I groan. I don't have time for this. "Get off my bed, now." I almost yell. I can feel his teasing eyes on me and it only angers me more.

I groan and sit up ready to yell at him but Alek was already gone.

    @$%#?*:)&!:( 

     The rest night I lay staring at the ceiling, not closing my eyes afraid that if I did, the nightmares would hunt me. I thought they had gone away for sure.

The alarm goes off but I was already on my feet before it did. The house is silent, even the twins. There's a certain mood clouding everything. The only sound is my steps as I go down the wooden creaky steps. "Morning." I murmur  grabbing a bowl, cornflakes and milk.

The twins were at the table eating Froot Loops half asleep. Evangeline had a bowl in front of her but her phone was far more interesting than breakfast. Mother was drinking coffee in a stool. Ryder must still be sleeping.

I have a phone but I rarely use it. Lately I hadn't had time for that sort of thing. When I had checked it this morning it was swarming with texts and lost calls from Sasha, Kate, Ryder and Chase. Guess Mother doesn't care about my whereabouts anymore.

The most texts were from Chase. He certainly seemed worried, that actually makes me smile a bit.

Before I start eating Evangeline is already yelling for me to hurry up. I manage to eat a few spoons and hurry to get into the car, before she leaves me. Yeah, she's done it before.

@$%#?*:)&!:(

              Sasha was the first to find me. "I heard about the party yesterday. Are you okay?" I didn't see her a the party. Hopefully she wasn't there. I wonder what people are saying that happened. I already heard the rumor that there was a high cannibalism cult. Police was there, found some bodies, dead bodies and ashes, an awful lot of ashes. I guess I’ll leave them to figure it out.

“Ina?” she snaps her fingers in my face catching my attention. “Fine, just fine. I got out before the ruckus.”
She watches me a little longer and nods “Good. I heard it was awful, luckily I was at home, making myself cozy with Netflix.” She says bitterly.

I let out a nervous chuckle “Lucky you.” She smiles and squeezes my shoulder reassuringly and walks away. She hasn’t been very talkative this last few days.

I rub my finger against my crucifix. Alek reminded me to wear it at all times, just in case. I bite my lip and finish grabbing my books from my locker. He’s been silent this morning, though.  

I turn to walk toward my home room but warm arms embrace me. At first I’m startled but then I recognize his scent, Chase. He kisses my temple and my eyes quickly wander to his lips once he pulls away. I remember the kiss we shared  the party and how soft his lips felt against mine. Then again he doesn't remember none of that.

"You were in that party last night, weren't you? I don't remember much...someone must have placed something in my drink..." his eyes squint, a little clouded trying to remember, but he just shakes his head and focuses on me again. "I called and texted but of course you never answer. I got so worried Ina...Gosh you are definitely the most troublesome girlfriend I've ever had." My eyes snap wide open. I thought he didn't remember anything. Chase notices my reaction and he reaches up to caress my cheek smiling "Hey I almost forgot. I ink I'll need too something so you wont be out of my sight." he winks while I just blush, totes tomatoes.

"Ina would you like to be my g-"

"Yes!" I squeak interrupting him before he could finish, again. Sometimes I wonder how can he stand me.

He rose his eyebrow but then grinned "Alright." he started leaning forward but for some reason I shy away "I-I think we need to head into class." He eyes me a bit disappointed but then nods smiling slightly. He grab my hand leading us toward our classroom.

On they he says "So our date didn't really happened. How about I make it up to you? How about a movie at your place?" My place? I doubt that's a good idea.

"I would prefer if it was your place. My family...isn't very welcoming..." He quickly takes the hint and nods, I hadn't notice his thumb was rubbing my hand. It was soothing. "My place then." I manage a smile as  forward and plants a quick kiss on my forehead before I can protest.

I've never met Chase's parents. I know he's an only child. I also know his dad is a famous lawyer and her mom a fashion designer, or something like that. I don't know if they'll like me after meeting Sasha. Plain, little, crazy me.

Chase and I are so different. How did we ever end up together? Just a few days ago I was sulking about how would he never fix his eyes on me, and then...everything happened so fast. Too fast, don't you think? First words he says all morning and they're the least I want to hear. Shut up.

"I'll have you all to myself and this time I'll make sure you wont run away." he smiles cheekily. The thought hits me that we wont ever be alone, not really. There's always the vices in my head.

@$%#?*:)&!:(

 

        Mrs. Anders snaps me back to reality as she slams a piece of paper in my desk. A big red F plastered on it. I got F on chemistry? How did that happen? Mrs. Anders walks away with a disapproving look. Great, another cheerful moment in my life. Kate is in my chemistry class too and by the looks of it she didn't get grade of the year either. True I didn't study as much as I should have, but I surely could have gotten at least a C minus. I'm an average grade student, not the smartest person in the room but I manage. Cant blame me for being so distracted, fighting Cold Ones is something you have to take seriously.

"Chemistry is going to be the death of me." Kate leans my way whispering. Today she's wearing dark make up, with her light tone of skin it actually look gorgeous. That's something only Kate could pull out. I would probably look like a haunting banshee if I tries that makeup on. More like a zombie, I think banshees have a light complexion too...

What am I even thinking? I wonder, can we ever think in nothing? I've heard guys can do that. I dunno if I can, I've never tried before. There's always something in m mind. I'll try. Now. Blank. Blank. Does thinking in a white wall counts? I mean now I'm thinking in white. White isn't exactly nothing... I think I cant do this. Could you be any more annoying? I'm the annoying one? Cant you like, go away for a while? Why would I do that?

I shrug to myself. So I can have a little privacy? Its disturbing knowing someone is always in my head. Knowing. Seeing. Thinking. How would you feel if I knew everything that went through your mind? Violated. Exactly. Now go away. I think I liked it better when I didn't know you knew...I think even my own thoughts don't make any sense. Is there something wrong with me? What's not wrong with you. You know, you too don't make sense sometimes. I think that's your fault.  

"God! I hate it when you do that!" Kate whispers from besides me. I glance sideways at her, raising my eyebrows and mumble a 'sorry'.
See? "Hush." I hiss a little too loudly.

"What?" Kate asks confused.

"Nothing!" I say bit too harshly. She narrows her eyes and crossing her arms she looks away. Its always funny to see Kate mad, she looks like a pissed off pixie.

I just snort and slide down my chair. I'm hungry.

Class drags on and the tick tocks grow louder. I stare intently at the clock as if by that action alone time will pass quicker. It doesn't work. So I go to my other option. Although I even do it without intending to. Spacing out is kind of an escape. Not that I'm an air head. At least I don't think so. Stars, don't comment. I wasn't going to. I can almost see him smirking. I'm still hungry.

After history, PE, bla bla bla lunch finally comes and I'm hungry. Starving.

Its crowded, loud. I never liked the cafeteria. Today I'm craving a hamburger. When I'm about to grab my tray, Chase gets to it first. He has a full grin as he balances our trays in his hands. I place my hands on my hips "I can carry my own tray."

"Let me be a gentleman." he says as he turns toward our table. Kate is there...Sasha's there too. There's also a boy I don't know.

Scrawny, curly brown hair, brown eyes and rimmed glasses. Nerd. My eyes pop wide open.

That was you right? What? Stars. I'm not mean.

Chase conveniently sits in front of Sasha, I sit besides him. Red. I always hated this red chairs. And green tables. Its like early Christmas. I snort, gaining a weird look from everyone. I just duck my head and take a bite of my hamburger.

"So," Kate starts after an awkward silence "This is Mark, he's new."

Mark smiles shyly peeking over his glasses and fidgeting with his fingers.

I rest my chin on my hand eyeing him. What a loser. I'm pretty sure Kate reads my face because she kicks me from under the table giving me a dirty look. "Be nice." she hisses between clench teeth. I roll my eyes dramatically "What? Look at him He's obviously a total nerd loser." I say chuckling.

I could hear a collective gasp in our table. I drop my hamburger on my tray, mouth wide open. Stars, that wasn't me. I'm not mean. Its called speaking up your mind, not mean.

I slam my hands on the table "Shut up!" I storm out of the cafeteria feeling a hundred eyes burning on my back.

I've had it with you. Oh come on love, that wasn't me. I'm not mean. I'm not mean!  I'm a totally quiet, silent, friendly, background friend. I don't say. I'm the kind of girl who doesn't say a word out of place. I'm good. A good killer. That's you fault. I grip my hair tightly as I keep walking and close my eyes shut. I'm not that kind of girl. I'm not. I'm not! Well maybe its time- "We change that love."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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