The only reason

He broke me

He left me

He used me

And now i'm nothing but a memory to him

An old, rusty memory

I used to be happy, like most kids. I had friends, good grades at school and a functioning family.

I met my best friend, Luke, when we were about seven or eight. We hung out, played outside and basically did everything together. Everything

We were living the dream... Like a fairytale

And like every fairytale, there was an end. Unfortunately for us, it wasn't a good one.


5. 4

"Amber!" Calum and Ashton yelled as they got up from the chairs in the kitchen and tackled me to the ground

"Hey, peasants"

They laughed and we got up before they engulfed me in a hug.

"Missed you, bug"

"Missed you too, Ash" i whispered as i nuzzled my head deeper in his chest

"What about me?" Calum pouted

"What about you?"

I tried keeping a straight face but failed as i wrapped my arms around Calum's waist

"You changed"

"No shit" i giggled and he huffed

"Finally decided to leave your bedroom?" I pulled away from Calum and looked towards my mum, who was smirking.

"Yes. I'm hungry" i smiled and she laughed

"Eat" i nodded and Michael, Calum, Ashton and I sat back down around the table.

Luke was looking down at his plate, playing with his food.

Yea that's right, you don't get anything from me.


If he thinks i'm just going to jump into his arms after he abandoned me for two years, he's got it all wrong.




I maybe sound selfish and mean but compared to what he did to me, this is nothing.

Actually it's only the start.

But then again i feel so bad...

He looks so broken, so fragile, so...cute.

No Amber. You promised. No more feelings.

After diner, mum and dad went out with some friends and the boys and I decided to go swimming.

It was already dark outside and we thought it'd be fun to go swimming at night

I had a pool in my backyard and i also had a jacuzzi.

"Do you guys have your swimming trunks?"

"Nah but we can always just go in our boxers, we used to do that all the time so why not?" Calum answers and i laughed

"Fine. You guys in your boxers but i'm putting a swimming costume on"

"But it's the same thing as underwear" Ashton argued

"No. Underwear are a tad more sexy, at least the ones i'm wearing now"

"Show us?"

"Nice try Mikey" i laughed and ran upstairs to my room, taking out my small blue bikini.

As i was struggling to tie my bikini up, someone knocked on the door

"Come in" i turned to face my bed, showing whoever was there that i needed help with tying my bathing suit.

Warm hands took my brown hair and placed it over my shoulder and i shivered.

"Done yet?"

"No" after a few seconds, i felt my bathing suit being tied up and i sighed before pushing my hair behind my back and turning around

"Oh... Hi Luke" i awkwardly took a step back and put on a loose crop top over my bikini.

"Er.. Hi. I need to talk to you"

"Go ahead" i nodded to my bed and he sat down.

"So... I wanted to say sorry for whatever made you hate me" he said as he scratched the back of his neck. Nervous habit, he's been doing that for years now

"You don't know? Not a single clue, Lucas?"

He flinched at what i called him.

I never called him that unless there was something wrong.


"Well i'm not going to waste my time on you if you don't even know what you did wrong"

"Why do girls always do that?" He asked getting up and pacing back and forth

"Do what exactly?"

"Say we did something wrong when they're just overreacting"

"Oh you think I'm overreacting?!"

"Yes, i do!"

"Well i'm not, Luke. I'm not overreacting!"

"Then tell me what's wrong Amber!"

"You left me!"

He took a step back and i sighed

"You left me, you broke me."


"You said you loved me, then abandoned me. You made me hate myself for months, Luke. I cried myself to sleep for a year until i woke up one day and realized that you don't deserve me. You never did." I said blankly. I looked up at him and saw a tear rolling down his cheek

"And then you show up and expect me to jump in your arms? Is that what you want Luke?."

"Amber i didn't know"

"Of course you bloody didn't know" i laughed in exasperation as i tugged at my hair

"You ruined me!" I screamed


"Yes Luke! You ruined me! And you're not going to get any piece of me. I'm done."

"Amber listen. I didn't call you because it would've teared me apart. You know that if i heard your voice, i would've been on the next flight home, to you. I didn't want to do this to you or to myself"

"But you made it worst Luke. I wanted to kill myself" i sobbed as he nodded

"I know, Amber"

"You don't!"

"I do! I was depressed for months! I couldn't get you out of my mind! I thought about you every. Single. Day! Not a day passed where i didn't ask myself what you were doing, where you were and with who! I drank every night, trying to forget you! I got drunk, hoping it would ease the pain but it never did! I miss you Amber... More than you can ever know" he looked down and i frowned.

He felt the same way as i did through those two years.

"I miss you too. But i'm going to need time, Luke."

" i know and i respect that" i nodded and he slowly got out of my room

"I love you" he whispered as he closed the door.

I don't know if i was meant to hear it, but i did.

I cupped my mouth as i felt tears falling from my eyes. I sobbed and collapsed on my bed, crying into my pillow.

I miss you

I love you.

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