Wednesday 29th July 2015, 10:48pm:
I'm sad again. I feel lost and alone. I made a list, wether or not it's worth living anymore. It's quite clear that the 'reasons to die' side is over powering.
There's something wrong with me, there must be! No amount of empty or meaningful words can fill the gap inside me. I'm surrounded by darkened and it's too late, I can't escape. I'm Stuck.
I used to be happy, skipping and jumping and singing and dancing and smiling and laughing, I didn't have a care in the world, how did I get here?
I remember when I saw the darkness, I saw it for the first time. In year seven, I heard about cutting. It opened my mind to a world unseen. And I saw it, I saw the darkness. But, it was above/within someone else. Jess Hann. Then elza and finally ella-wood. Then, then it took me. It lanced onto me and opened my eyes, feeding off of every positive thought and replacing it with negativity. I saw the world for how it really was. But then, but then I looked in the mirror, I saw it, I saw darkness within me. And I think that's how it started
Back then I had a chance to escape but I didn't take it and now I can't. It grew.
Should I end it all now?