Benefits of being unwell

Caleb is a fucking stupid kid. He's a fuck up. Was that girls advice really that great?


1. prologue

She walked to the roof and sat beside me. Her hair was blowing in the wind, she was beautiful. How did she find me? She took a deep breath in, then exhaled. When she did you could see her breath. She didn't want to sleep she didn't want to eat. Is what she told me. Why would she tell me this? I only nodded. To tell you the truth I think she didn't even like me. But she stayed there and sat with me all night.

I met this girl just a week ago. I knew her as the girl that had the imaginary friends that people could see. I knew her because everyone knew her. But I think I knew her in a way no one else did. She was friends with everyone and she was one of the "popular kids". Crystal was considered her best friend. I met her in the line to get my food in the cafe. We both went to grab the last bottle of chocolate milk. I let go she looked into my eyes she said "all my friends aren't real. They barely exists." Then she left with the bottle in her hand. She is so confusing. Why would a total stranger say that to someone? Since then I never cared to ask for her name. It's strange how I don't know her name considering everyone else does. But I guess this was a good enough time to ask "what's your name?" I said trying to make eye contact but failing.


"Ryan?" She said nothing. I don't think she was offended I just think she just didn't want to answer. "Staying in a place like this with people like these. Is not healthy and this shouldn't be a place you would want to live in. These people don't care about personality or morals. They care about the kind of things you wear, your popularity and if you have money to spend. It's just not right. What do I know. What is right?" I didn't know what to say to that. So I just sat there looking stupid. She didn't seem to care. Her gave on the lights of the town is where her eyes stayed on.

After what was about 30 minutes of dead silence whilst looking off into the towns rooftops I put in my earbuds. This was the highlight of my week I didn't want the awkward moment to end.

I don't remember how the night ended but I think it did because now it is the morning.

When I woke up with my nose frozen and my phone dead in my pocket Ryan was gone. I thought nothing of it because just from the slightest bit of knowledge I know about that girl I knew she'd be gone by morning. It's just the typical thing a typical girl would do well I think anyway. I was surprisingly not that cold considering it was late fall in Canada. I didn't tell Ryan my name she probably doesn't care we'll never talk again after this night anyway.

I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe Ryan was right when she said staying in a place where people only care about you're appearance and if you'll make them money is not a place you should want to be. Maybe she meant that you shouldn't be around people like that but all people are like that. Well on some scale. I can't change them and there is a no point in trying too. So just go away then Caleb, leave. The thought of that was stuck in my head I tried to think of something else but nothing worked. I knew how to shut up the voice. I grabbed by schoolbag behind me that I used as a pillow last night and went down the stairs out of the building.

I wonder what Ryan was doing I wonder if the though of just go away is in her head. Or I wonder if she's in her history class right now learning about things that will soon be forgotten. I wonder if she's thinking about me too. But she's not, and not I think. I'm sure.

I got to my apartment building within 35 minutes. I knew my mom wouldn't be home because she left to go to work at 7 and now it's 10:53. She works at the elementary school that I used to go to.

She probably doesn't know that I'm not at school right now. I opened the door with the key under the mat. I told my mom that putting a key under the mat is a bad idea but she didn't care. I went straight to my room and looked through my closet grabbed a few things. I got my phone charger from my desk, I don't know why probably won't be using it. Got my savings that was roughly a thousand dollars and my passport. Ran to the washroom got my tooth brush and tooth past then left the room. You never know in life when you'll see a place for the last time. But I know I won't be coming back here.

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