Bad Intentions

"Does it bug you?"

"Does what bug me"

"Does it bug you that I know you better than you know you?"


Peyton Andrews has parents that want her to be perfect. Has siblings that want her to be cool and friends that want her to be fun. But when she meets Asher she falls for him because he wants to her to be herself


33. /3:2/


I sat on the porch watching the sun hide behind the moon. Sunsets were always a bit tedious to me. They kind of made me rethink it. It was so routine and honestly a bit boring. But people loved them. People took so much pleasure in watching a ball of gas slide into the sky and then 12 hours later slide away like it never existed. Kind of similar to people. Everyone takes so much pleasure into people coming into their lives and then when they leave they simply replace the hole that person left with another person. But each person is different. So when one leaves a heart shaped hole it's a bit difficult trying to shove a fucking cylinder in their.

Asher was my cylinder.

Everyone has a cylinder. A person they use to fill the aching that one left in your heart. My hole was worn out by now. I was probably missing a heart, a cube and a pyramid by now.

The screen door opened presenting Rosalinda. She smiled at me and say beside me on the porch.

"You are the strongest person I know, do you know that?" She said. My eyes widen and my heart pounded. I'd spent years wondering what Rose sounded like and here she was talking to me. On my porch at night.

"Rosalinda." I muttered silently as thought it was some big secret for her to talk.

"Yes, I do in fact have a voice." She chuckled.

"Does anyone else know you can talk? Or that you're not Mexican. Rosalinda, not to sound racist or anything but we all thought you were Mexican." I admitted.

"Not all Hispanics are Mexican."

"Are you Hispanic?"

"I'm from Portugal."

"Well, this day is just getting crazier and oddly this is the most insane part."

"I felt badly about not coming to your mother's funeral. I've known her for so long. It's wrong of me not to have went." Rosalinda says.

"Not that she wouldn't have forgiven you."


"Why now? I mean why now when everything is falling apart."

"Why what?"

"Why talk now?" I asked.

"I had nothing to say. Nothing that would've made a difference."

"But now you do?" I asked my face emoting to the tone of my voice.

"Now, you need me. You've got three children about to live under this roof. You don't have a job, you haven't finished high school and you can't cook to save your life. You need me."

"So it's like some nanny McPhee type shit?"

"Sort of. I promised your mother than if she ever died, before you all got out of high school, I would help you all get through everything." Rosalinda said.

"She really loved us." I muttered more as a question.


"I wish I could've told her thank you."

"I think she knew. I think she knew how much you loved her."

"A mother never knows how much a child loves them. How irrevocably hurt they are when they leave and how indescribably happy they are when they come back. Mothers will never know how much their children call out for them in dream lands when nightmares are around. They don't know how much they want them their for their first heartbreak or their second or their third. How the only thing I'd ever heard her say was 'keep your head up, no not in pride but in concern for the boy in the fire who was lost in the smoke.' They'll never know how much we miss those annoying rhymes that teach us to be better citizens. Her favorite was 'Excuses, tools of incompetence used to build monuments of nothingness.' And then I'd sit and ponder on what I'd call my monument. What I could name it. Something that would easily fall and crush that stupid saying. That stupid, important saying." I muttered tears running from the cells my eyes had created. I never understood missing someone until I missed someone I knew wasn't coming back. At least with Quinn there was a lock of hope. Just a sliver. A tiny one, but one no matter the size.

"Poetry is your escape. If that's how you connect to your mom now then go for it. But don't hold in a compressed emotion because you will die from heartbreak." Rosalind promises. I nod and sigh.

"What should I do about Andy and the baby?" I asked.

"Talk to him about it. You can't just expect him to give up his baby just because you asked. You need to compromise. Make him realize where you're coming from. Explain that you're going to protect him no matter what this ends up as." Rosalinda advises.

"I don't understand why you stayed quiet while I was literally facing every problem in the world." I muttered shaking my head.

"I knew you were strong enough to get through it. And I'm only the maid." She smiled standing up.

"Goodnight Rosalinda." I smiled. She bent down and kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Peyton Elizabeth." She smiled walking to her car.


The morning was a bit strange. Quinn and Preston, the baby, were here along with Shawn and Christian. Rosalinda went back to her vow of silence in the morning not mumbling even a hum to me to confirm that last night was as real as this morning.

"What are we doing today, Poem Girl?" Shawn asked.

"I'm going to the court today and then I'm meeting with Noel and his lawyers then I'll be back." I said.

"Your sister is in a custody battle with Andy for baby Grady." Christian smiled kissing Rosalinda's cheek thanking her for the breakfast.

"We haven't even gone to court. And if I do win we aren't naming the baby Grady."

"Why not?" Christian pouted.

"Because his name will be Harden or Haiden. Whichever you think sounds better." Shawn smiles.

"Neither. I'm going to go now before Preston starts adding in names. Love you all." I said blowing kisses to everyone before stepping out of the house and walking to my car. I ran a hand through my hair and started the car pulling out and driving down to the court house.

The court house was quiet. Inside women did busy work and security guards walked aimlessly through the halls. I walked to the waiting room waiting to see the judge. Do to my status in the world the judge was more than eager to see me. Probably not thinking I was trying to get myself emancipated. Sunshine and Angela had went on a girls vacation this week. I had declined their invitation making up some excuse about hay fever and needing to spend more time with my sister who I had just recently found. Their instagrams were full of beach selfies and each one made me miss my bitches more.

"Peyton Elizabeth Andrews? Someone called. I looked up sighing at the quick service.

Good to know justice is thorough and efficient.

I stepped into the courtroom placing my documents for my case on the table.

"Good morning Ms. Andrews." The judge greeted me.

"Good morning, your honor." I smiled standing.

"So I hear you're here to get emancipated from the parental guidance of Allan Andrews? Is he here?"

"No, he's in-"

"The courtroom. Sorry I'm late your honor. I had to catch the train and a few buses."

"Allan, I didn't know you were coming back." I said softly a fake smiles plastered on the many I had prepared.

"Did you think I wouldn't show? Of course I'm here."

"Both parties need to be sworn in." A security guard says pulling Allan and I aside.

"Well now that both parties have arrived, Ms. Andrews. Would you plead commence with your testimony." I ran a hand through my hair.

"You're honor, if you are aware as of late my mother has past."

"I watched the broadcast. Lovely speech."

"Thank you." I said to the woman. Her glasses were perched lowly on the bridge of her nose.


"My father out of greed has single handy publicly humiliated my sister and I-"

"Is she here?" The judge asked.

"No ma'am, she was unable to make it but u have it on good note-"

"Irrelevant, use only persons in the courtroom."

"Yes your honor, Allan Andrews publicly humiliated me and watched as a man raped me and left me in a house alone. This is a form of cruel and unusual punishment."

"Did this happen Mr. Andrews. Please remember you're under oath."

"Yes your honor. I had both of my daughters raped."

"Mr. Andrews you are aware that you've committed a federal crime."

"Yes, your honor."

"Peyton Elizabeth Andrews is now not under the custody of Allan Andrews." I smiled and covered my mouth as tears threatened to pour.

"But, Ms. Andrews shall be in custody of the next applicable guardian. Noel Cane." She says. My hand trembles

"Your honor, I- don't- I don't understand." I said.

"Ms. Andrews you have shown that you have been put in very conflicting positions and I don't think you need to live alone. In fact I think you should get some therapy and maybe then I'll consider allowing you. Comeback in a year and a half." She says.

"I'll be 18 by then." I said.

"Well then you'll be in great hands. Andrews vs Andrews case closed until 18 months." The sound of the judges gavel echoed through me. I couldn't believe what had just happened.

"Welcome to the real world, Peyton." Allan smiled as he turned towards the door whistling as he did. I sighed and walked out the opposite door. I sat in my car and looked at my phone.

Fuckboi(Asher): I hope everything at court goes well, I'll see you after you meet with the custody lawyers

I sighed and called Asher.

"Hey!" He exclaimed. Tears slid down my face. I was going to tell him but I knew if he had to worry about me anymore he'd probably go crazy.

"Hey, so Allan isn't my parental guardian anymore." I smiled.

"That's phenomenal. I got in to Maine Institution of Arts and Berkley." He says.

"Both not in Indiana." I sighed.

"I know but these two schools have a lot of vacations so I'd be able to see you more than I do now." He says quickly.

"Don't try to accommodate me. You're going to have to study there." I muttered.

"You're upset with me." He says a frown obvious in voice.

"No it just doesn't make any sense to continue a relationship like this. We barely see each other now. You're still lying and telling secrets. And I'm going to be here raising a baby all by myself while you're out doing God knows what."

"You decided to take the baby, how is that even realistically close to being my fault. If you don't want the baby then let Andy raise him. Like he's supposed to."

"You don't understand." I said shaking my head.

"Why because I'm not an orphan? How long are you going to use that excuse?"

"Fuck you." I said hanging up. I hit the top of the steering wheel. I checked the time in my phone and I an hour and a half to get to Noel's office to talk with the lawyers.

One quick stop.


"Are you fucking insane?" I asked angrily. I had decided to give Andy the chance to say that maybe he wasn't a fit father for the baby but he hit me ten times harder.

"First rule about politics, do anything to win."

"This isn't politics we are discussing over coffee and scones. This is a child. A living breathing person."

"Yeah, my child. Who I am rightfully entitled to raising. I knew if you went by yourself you'd get emancipated but if your father was there then, hm, no emancipation for you." He said smiling wickedly.

"You are honestly so selfish. This isn't a game. There was never a redo buttons and there aren't any. This is a child not a toy. So you either need to grow up fast or pretend like you have even faster." I said sternly.

"See you in court Peyton Elizabeth."

"See you in court you asshole." I muttered walking out of the house quickly. I checked my phone. I still had an hour to get there. I hurried through the streets attempting to not hit anyone or anything.

By the time I got to Noel's house I was ten minutes late.

"I'm so sorry. I went to compromise with Andy and he sort of dropped a bombshell on me." I apologized to Noel who looked concerned.

"Peyton this Rodger Banks and Addison White."

"It's nice to meet you, Peyton." Rodger said. Rodger was a short and stubby man who was balding. His strings of red hair were smoothed down.

"Hello, I apologize for being late." I said sitting beside Noel.

"So tell us about your situation." Addison said sweetly. She was a younger women. She looked a bit flustered to be in this situation.

"Well I was asked by my best friend's girlfriend to adopt their unborn child. I'm being taken to court for custody of him." I explained.

"And you have all your documents together? You're only sixteen." She says sifting through papers.

"I'll be 17 tomorrow." I said running a hand through my hair.

"Oh, happy birthday." She smiled her black hair hiding behind her ears.

"Happy indeed." I muttered sighing.

"Noel tells me your mother has just passed away, from?"

"She killed herself." I muttered in monotone. I'd gotten use to this question.

"I'm so sorry." The woman apologized her eyes becoming grave.

"It's on the long list of unfortunate things I've just had to deal with. But as you know I'm not here to talk about her. I'm here to see what I'm chances in adopting this child are."

"Well if you can get the mom to come and tell the jury that she doesn't see Andrew Richardson as a fit father then that'll be great."

"And if I can't?" I asked more directly to Rodger.

"Then we will have to go through a full trial. And they will bring up your past."

"What parts?"

"Your mother was mentally unstable. Most mental illness are genetic." Addison said. I cocked an eyebrow. They both looked rather confused.

"I'm an orphan. She's not my real mother."

"But Noel said that he was your father."

"He's my biological dad yes, my last name is Andrews. As in Allan and Penelope Andrews?" I said looking at Noel.

"So Noel Cane isn't your parental guardian?"

"Well of late he is."

"Why of late?" Addison asked.

"Well because I attempted to get emancipated but was denied due to my- mental health."

"Why would that be in question?" Rodger questioned.

"I was raped. So they don't think I should be allowed to live on my own. But I don't. I live with two capable adults." I said. Capable.

"So as of and hour and a half ago Noel is your parental guardian?" Addison asked.

"Yes. But I see he already had plans."

"We will need to get back to the both of you in 48 hours. Have a nice day and don't talk to Andrew Richardson until after the trial." Rodger advised.

"Okay thank you so much." I said as they left. I turned to Noel.

"You were trying to get emancipated?" He asked.

"That's none of your business. You had no right in placing yourself as my father."

"I was trying to help." He defends himself.

"I don't need it. Your 'help' I need you to leave me alone. I can handle this by myself." I said walking out of the house.

I walked into my house to find Shawn playing with Preston and Quinn crunching to get caught up in her classes.

"Hey, look who it is. Auntie Peyton." Shawn said in a baby voice.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Quinn asked.

"Fine. I'm going to get a shower and relax." I said as I walked up the stairs. I laid on my bed and sighed. Seven months ago I would've cried. Six months ago I stood on my roof and almost jumped to my death.

I should've jumped. I should've drowned myself. I should've made cuts so deep that I'd bleed myself dry. I should've died.

"I heard you were taking a shower." Christian said laying next to me on my bed.

"I was denied."


"And I have to go to court."


"And everything hurts all the time." I said tears rolling down my eyes.

"You don't need to bite as much off as you do. Take piece, chew and swallow." He said.

"Every time I chew I end up choking. I think I broke up with Asher today. I don't know."

"Remember what Sarah Kay said. 'Life will hit you, hard, in the face. Wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they love the taste of air.' Remember that you are just as strong as a sumo wrestler and that he can move tons and tons of bricks but you can move something heavier. You can move hearts." Christian said. I sighed and nodded curling into Christian's body.

"I love you, Poem Girl." He whispered kissing my forehead and wrapping a blanket around me.

I was stronger than a muscle builder. I could move hearts.


+Noel is getting on my nerves

+is it bad I'm still an Andy girl?

+video up there is so good :)

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