Okay so the video up there. Don't play it until I give you the sign. Or if the video is to the side same goes. Not until I give you the okay. Great. Love you.
Funerals suck for everyone. Whiny babies, antsy kids, old people, family members crying, fakers, old people. Christian and Shawn sat up front with me and my dad. Ethan was there. He had a kid. The baby probably. Everyone gave me their condolences and Mindy publicly made their secret relationship official.
"So, I'll be your new mother." She smiles.
"I've never wanted to throw up more ever in my life." I replied smiling brightly. She scoffed and sat next to my father who wore sunglasses and a fedora.
"Your dad looks stupid in a fedora." Shawn muttered. Shawn was a well known fashion designer. So making fun of every person who walked in was the only thing that made me forget that I was at my mother's funeral. Everyone was finally seated and the pastor walked up to the pew and smiled apologetically.
"It was once said that missing someone hurts worst, when you know they aren't coming back. Penelope Andrews will truly be missed for heart and her smarts and her beauty towards the world. Before we begin would anyone like to say a few words?" He asked. I stood up and walked to the pew. Staring back at me were faces from days where I couldn't even imagine this scenario.
"My mother is dead. My mother is dead." I repeated this two more times.
(Play song now)
"My mother is dead. And to...reconcile with her spirit. My father, 2016 candidate for senate, Allan Andrews invited people who didn't even like her. I was born behind a Walmart in Tallahassee. I was adopted 3 years later and given to a very wealthy couple. The couple couldn't get pregnant? No. Allan said he wasn't letting her get pregnant and beat her until she couldn't have children. And even though he did that my mom still stayed strong. When he fractured her ribs in 5 different places she stood up and said 'I will survive.' When Allan Andrews had my sister and I raped because we wouldn't hide the fact she was pregnant with Heath Williams child my mother said 'They will survive.' When Allan Andrews degraded our family and ripped it apart for his own greed and selfishness. My mother rose above the flames of the burned photo albums and shredded family tapes. Her small hands gathered up our hearts and moulded them into something that could possibly replace it. Moulded it into makeshift hearts and souls so they could hang in our dust filled bodies like ornaments on an old Christmas tree. Her small frail hands scattering the dust to look for what still belonged to us. When she found nothing she simply chuckled and said.'Ha! Well children. We survived.' Now I'm here to say after a long time of surviving. My mother and I won. We won against the big bad we who blew so hard it be difficult to leave our tattered huts. The wicked witch of the west who tried to hurt Dorothy." I moved from the pew walking to stand right in front of Allan. His sunglasses say idly on his face but he pulled them up to look at me.
"Allan, she won." I smiled biting my lip. Allan's face was red and angry. His expression was shocked and expecting. I sat back in my seat on the other side of the church and listened to the silence. No one knew what to say. No one wanted to say anything. What I had said, was what everyone couldn't. My mother was strong woman in a world of cowards. Well only the good die young. Christian pat me on my back and smiled.
"Not bad Poem Girl." He whispered into my ear smiling and watching the pastor start up again. I sighed and smiled as the pastor went on and on about God and other things I didn't have time to believe. Shawn and Christian held my hand squeezing when I'd stop breathing or completely froze. Christian had told me to take in what the pastor was saying as though I was analyzing a poem.
"She was a good woman."
Translation: she was pretty useless.
"She was tainted by the hands of satan."
Translation: satan is my mother. My mother is satan. They are one.
I sighed as the preacher went on earning amen and preach from the crowd. I stayed silent. Only buried sobs taking its axe to the back of my throat trying to escape. I stood up and walked out standing by the water fountain. I heard the doors swing open.
"What the hell was that?" Allan asked. I coughed and looked up. His eyes were scanning my face for answers.
"You really don't get it?" I asked.
"I'm doing this for us. You were the strongest." He says
"The strongest? This isn't a competition!"
"It was always a competition!" He shouts making me flinch. "Don't you understand that this whole thing is just a game? The best players succeed."
"Well, sorry I'm not the stereotypical bore you see on television. I'm a politician. And whether you want to help me. I'm winning this election." He says walking away. I sighed and walked farther inside the church. I sat in a waiting room drinking my water and thinking.
My mother is dead. My sister is having s baby. My brothers a dad. My dad had control issues. My friend was a drug dealer. My boyfriend was secretly apart of a family mafia.
"Hey." Speaking of boyfriends. I turned around and Seth was standing there.
"Hi." I said sighing.
"That was some speech." He said sitting next to me.
"I didn't know you-"
"Seth, let's not pretend we're friends. Okay?"
"I made a mistake. I thought by dating you I'd ruin a great friendship and I did."
"Seth, you are trying to get back together with me at my mother's wake."
"Bad timing. Maybe later this-"
"No. I'm still dating Asher. We are still together."
"Oh, I just assumed because you both- I just thought-"
"Good thing you don't get paid to think then,huh?" I asked.
"I'm sorry." He says walking away.
"We're still together? That's a relief." Asher says coming from behind a door. I stand up so that Asher doesn't tower over me as much.
"I still love you." I muttered looking into his eyes. I relaxed as the familiar color resurfaced memories.
"I love you, and I didn't mean to hurt you. So much has happened and I knew that when it all blew up your hate me. And I was too selfish to let you hate me." He mumbled leaning his forehead on mine.
"I can't hate you. I tried." I chuckled leaning up and kissing him. His lips were warm and soft, as though he was preparing for the moment when our lips graced one another in harmony. He pulled back running his thumb over my bottom lip and humming.
"Do you want to stay a little longer?" He asked. I nodded. I'd text Shawn and Christian later and tell them where I was.
"I can't believe you did this." I frowned standing in front of Asher.
"I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think it would help." Asher defends.
"You know this is the last place I'd want to be. If there was a zombie apocalypse and this was the only place safe from zombies, I'd take my chance with the zombies."I muttered.
"Peyton. Let me explain." Andy begged.
"That's not a good idea." Standing in front of Asher now I knew I was going to hurt Andy. I was going to kill him if I wasn't careful.
"Please calm down so I can explain."
"What's there to explain? You've been selling your medicine on the street to get a quick buck. So what Priscilla's pregnant? You both are rolling in green." I said angrily.
"Peyton, please calm down." Asher coaxed
"I'm so very calm. If I wasn't calm I would have punched him in his face." I said heated.
"Asher enlisted the help of your mom. He didn't have enough medicine himself to sell."
"You were selling my mom's medicine?!" I ask realizing that's why she'd been acting weird. She wasn't skipping she was selling.
"Do you understand how much trouble we could all get into if someone knew?"
"No one will know."
"Yeah. They will because I'm going to the hospital and asking them to put both you in a looney bin." I said angrily.
"Peyton. You'll go down too. I saw the medicine in the baggy behind your bed. How much of that was prescribed to you?" He asks.
"Okay now I'm going to punch him in the face." I said walking past Asher and throwing my right fist in order for it to make contact with his cheek. He fell immediately and I punched him in the face again. I could feel my knuckles splitting but I couldn't stop. Asher eventually pulled me off of him putting my arms to my side and staring at me.
"All good?" Asher asked Andy.
"Goddamn, are you guys having sex or wrestling matches? When the fuck did you get Hulk strength?" Andy asked holding his face. It was obvious his broken his nose and I gave him a black eye.
"I hate you. You are literally so fucking self centered." I said tears fleeting down my face.
"I'm doing this for Priscilla and our unborn baby." He tries to justify.
"You mean the baby she asked me to adopt?" I asked waiting for him to stand up.
"Priscilla came to me and asked me to adopt you guy's baby."
"Call her." I dared. His eyes became grave.
"You said no, yeah?" He asked.
"Andy you aren't raising this child. You can't. You physically are in capable of taking care of another human life." I explained.
"Peyton please." Andy begged.
"Andy remember what I said when we first became best friends? I said that I would save you from anything. Even yourself."
"I'll fight you for him. We can go to court."
"Who do you think the jury will choose? The drug dealer who can't even routinely take his medicine or the straight a student with a senator as a dad and a full ride scholarship to UCLA and Berkley?" I asked.
"You're not taking my child away from me. I will do anything." He promised walking out of the room we were in.
"That went unexpectedly well." Asher said.
"You enlisted my mom to sell her meds?" I asked.
"Why didn't you just ask me for money? Why did you have to do this?"I asked motioning around myself.
"This was not my motive. Not my intentions."
"Fuck all that for a minute. I told you that my mom was dying. So instead of asking me for the money or even better the drugs you were selling you asked my mom?" I asked.
"I must admit it wasn't my best moment. But Andy didn't want to tell you and I wasn't going to just not consult an adult about it."
"Consult an adult! How about report him?! Or tell your parents?! You had to consult a sick woman to make a decision on whether or not to sell drugs to crack heads!"
"What do you want me to say? Nothing I ever say is good enough for you. I might as well just let you make assumptions!" He shouted though I know I should be angry I was oddly turned on by his anger. Before I knew it my lips were on his and I was up against the wall.
I laid on Asher's chest. Sex in a church was surprisingly much better than anywhere else. Asher sat up and bumped his head on the bibles in the library.
"Ow." He muttered moving under me.
"That's God telling you that you've sinned." I chuckled playing with his fingers.
"Yet it was totally worth it. I'll go to hell if I get sex like that." He muttered.
"Yeah same." I said.
"I'm sorry." He said.
"I'm sorry too. Everything's just been hitting me from every direction. I just want to know what's happening."
"You aren't like the other girls. By the way. Aric has a tendency to assume. At first you were. But it's so much more with you. You are my favorite part of everything." He muttered.
"I'm sorry too. I love you and I shouldn't let my insecurities get in the way of that. I think I was just looking for a way out. A way not to feel in love with you. But I can't stop." I muttered. I sat up and Asher smiled kissing me and running his hand through my already messy hair. I moaned and the church lights shut off.
"Do churches close?" Asher asked.
"I guess even Jesus needs a break sometimes." I muttered standing up. I pulled on my skirt and clipped on my bra sliding my blouse on after.
"Are you still living with your fruity artists?" He asks.
"Christian and his boy toy."
"You mean his boyfriend? And how do you know Christian?"
"Priscilla told me she saw you with him. But I see you were third wheeling." He smiled.
"Don't be a homophobe." I said throwing his shirt at his face.
"I'm not. I'm just relieved he wasn't your rebound."
"Are you jealous, Asher?"
"No, jealousy is wanting something someone else had. I'm envious. Envy is wanting what someone else has and not wanting them to have it." He says.
"Don't be envious. I'm yours. I promise." I said sliding my shoes on.
"I know. But I still have my personal thoughts."
"You think about me leaving you?"
"You will. Maybe not while you are blinded by love but when you come to your senses."
"I'm never leaving you. You are mine just as I am yours. So unless you want me to leave don't talk about ever being apart." I said walking through the dark church. Guided by the light of our cell phones.
"I won't. It'll be nothing but happiness."
"That's actually what I really need." I mumbled.
"Okay, then nothing but happiness is what you'll get." He smiles. I nod and we walk out of the church hand in hand.
Oh my god I'm being hella rude to y'all. The story is ending soon 😒 but I am writing a sequel! And as cheesy as it sounds it'll be called Good Intentions. The whole story but in Asher's point of view. I'm excited. Um that's for all the votes and reads and comments.