I sighed as I curled my hair. Asher would be here to take me to Noel's house in less than half an hour. He had also asked me on a date tomorrow. Hanging out with Asher was actually really cool. I flattened my red summer dress down throwing a necklace on and a few bracelets. I heard a knock at the door and flutters soon exploded in my stomach. I walked down the stairs taking deep breaths and staring at the door. I opened the door revealing Asher in a blue button up shirt with a suit jacket and some blue jeans on.
"Woah." He said taking my hand.
"Woah yourself." I complimented. My palms were drenched in sweat just having the minimal contact we had. He smiled his eyes drinking me up slowly.
"I feel as though I should have brought you a few flowers." He says pulling me close.
"Maybe a couple would do." I teased smiling as he leaned down to kiss me. His lips were warm and soft. Just like I loved them.
"Shall we go?" He asked. My stomach turned and I grasped if quickly ignoring the sharp pain in my pelvic bone.
"Uh, yeah. Let's go." I muttered taking Asher's arm as he led me to his car. He opened the passenger side door bowing and extending his arm as he did. I did a small curtesy and as gracefully as I could I say in the car. Asher rounded the front of the car taking the driver's side and starting the car. A purr left the car as the ignition started and the motor hummed to life driving softly on the pavement. As I always did I soon fell asleep with Asher's fingers interlaced in my own. I could feel the dreariness overwhelming my senses and shutting my eyes. Restlessness and the unwavering subtlety of the casual drive to a meet my biological father bugged me. I sat up and turned to him my face masked in seriousness.
"You are aware that this is really important, yes?" I asked realizing I hadn't coached Asher through at all.
"I understand. I have it under control." He said.
"You see, I would believe you but you don't like chocolate. People who don't like chocolate aren't to be trusted." I said honestly. I think the chocolate issue bothered me more than the Hayley thing.
"Well, your opinion is biased. All you do is watch Netflix."
"That makes no sense! If anything watching Netflix has opened my eyes."
"Yeah, to the third season of Glee."
"Rachel Berry deserves to go to NYADA!" I shouted.
"Why are you so worried?" He asked rolling his eyes at my outburst.
"Because, I want someone other than me to know the real Asher Greene." I said bringing his hand up to my lips and pressing a kiss to his knuckles.
"Well, do they know the real Peyton Andrews?"
"Noel and Jasper, they're a living breathing part of my past. They are proof that there was a time before this." I said motioning to myself.
"I will do my best to be the real me." He smiles pressing his lips to my wrist. I sighed and gave up. Maybe he did have it under control.
Jasper was more than surprised that I had actually brought someone with me to meet his family. He seemed to like Asher the second we made it to the house. That didn't mean he would necessarily tell anyone.
"So Asher, how old are you?" Jasper asked eating his chicken. He was dressed in a little suit and a pair of converses.
"18 next month." He says.
"Really? Peyton's birthday is next month too." Noel says smiling.
"Is it?" Asher asked. His eyes were ghosting my own and I couldn't help but blush.
"Yeah, the 13th." I said licking my lips.
"I'm the 21st." Asher told me.
"Jaspers on the 17th." I said nodding towards the small blonde child who had been devouring his mashed potatoes.
"I'll be 6!" He smiles.
"Wow! Really? Am I invited to the party?" Asher asked.
"It's a superhero party. Everyone dresses up like their favorite superhero." Jasper smiled. Jasper looked towards me smiling.
"Hmm, who are you going to be?" Asher asked.
"Robin." He answered.
"Why robin? Why not batman?"
"Pey is batman." He says pointing to me. I mentally face palmed myself. Thanks Jas.
"Yep. I need to go get that this weekend." I muttered my eyes not leaving my potatoes.
"Can I come?" Jasper asked.
"Yeah we'll have to get up early. I have an um, I have like a-"
"A date." Asher said smiling.
"A date?" Noel asked. Asher had obviously sparked an interest.
"Yes." Asher confirmed. Not that anyone would notice other than Asher but I was squeezing the life out of his hands.
"Where are you taking her?"
"A baseball game." He smiled happily.
"Peyton hated sports." Noel frowns.
"With a passion." I added.
"It'll be fun." He said rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand.
"Sure." I said shaking my head no. My stomach gave again another pang. I sighed and stood up excusing myself from the table and walking to the bathroom. And as if satan himself crawled into my vagina there in front of me was a puddle of blood.
"God! Kill me now." I muttered looking through the cabinet under the sink and opening the medicine drawers. To my surprise all Charlotte kept was scented pads. It smelled so good that it was bad. If that made any sense.
"Pey? Are you alright? We are about to have cake." I heard Jasper ask from the other side of the door.
"Yeah, I'll be there in a second." I said honestly. I would throw on these scented pads and take some pain killers. My fingers quickly rummaged through the medicine cabinet only finding Zoloft and Ambience. Another bottle of Tylenol along with some Percocet. Advil, Motrin, Aspirin, muscle relaxers. Most everything was bed time stuff and antidepressants. I scrunched my eyebrows together straining to read the fine print. I didn't understand why two people could need so much medicine for depression and sleeping. I took two Zoloft and 800 milligrams of Advil. Almost immediately I felt the antidepressant making me feel a bit on ease. I took a couple and slid them into my shoe. I shook them to the front and walked out to the dinner table. Jasper smiled and sighed as he saw me. Relief clear on his face knowing I hadn't snuck away while everyone was inattentive.
"Ugh, sorry, had to er- freshen up." I informed crossing my ankles as I pushed my plate forward.
"It's alright. We were just about to start on the cake." Noel smiles hopping up quickly and leaving Asher and I alone with Jasper.
"Do you like chocolate cake?" Jasper asked excitement spilling over his bowl of joy. Asher sighed heavily and looked at me expectingly.
"Well, not necessarily." Asher said licking his lips and clicking his tongue.
"You don't like cake?" Jasper asked a solemn look on his face.
"I like cake. I just don't enjoy chocolate."
"You don't like...chocolate?" Jasper asked confusion clear in his voice.
"Are you allergic?"
"Did someone kill your family with chocolate?"
"Then you don't have any reason to not like chocolate."
"It doesn't taste good to me. Is there a food you don't like?" Asher asked.
"No. Not liking food isn't my thing."
"So you like all foods?"
"If I can eat it without dying, I like it." Jasper shrugged. Asher nodded obviously facing defeat for not having a good enough excuse.
"Cake!" Noel shouted walking in with a plate with a large chocolate cake on it.
"Asher doesn't like chocolate." Jasper said shaking his head.
"Like...at all?" Noel asked Asher. A look of pure disgusted was traded between Noel and Jasper.
"How do you live with yourself?" Noel asked.
"I'm not really sure anymore. But I guess it's the wrong way." Asher says pursing his lips.
"Well, I like chocolate. I'm not satan. Cake me up." I said holding out my hands to receive the plate that was holding a huge piece of chocolate cake.
"That was fun." Asher said as he drove us back home.
"Especially since Charlotte wasn't there." I said leaning back in my seat.
"They love you. And it's so very intriguing."
"The way they interact with you. You're so much more attentive and you smile a lot more. They make you happy."
"Yeah, they really do." I said truthfully. Jasper and Noel were great people. They made me feel important and loved.
"They're sad. You can feel it." Asher mused on.
"I don't know. I thought it was about you at first but then I realized that they wouldn't have been sad until the end if you were there. They should have been happy all the way up until the last hour. You see they should have sensed your need to go home. But the sadness was there the whole time. They were just genuinely unhappy."
"I found mass bottles of antidepressants in their medicine cabinet." I added.
"Why were you in their medicine cabinet?"
"Just looking for some tissue. It wasn't in the sink cabinet." I lied.
"How would the tissue fit in there?" He asked.
"Why would they both be sad? Jasper's a little kid. He can't be that sad." I said changing the subject. Asher looked over at me and frowned.
"People are sad. Nobody can be happy all the time."
"I know that. But you'd think that they'd be happy now."
"Why?" Asher asked.
"Because of me."
"You know you aren't their whole life? You know people have lives aside of you?" He asked truly concerned. Did he think I had it in my mind that everyone sat around waiting for me?
"Yes Asher," I said harshly. "I know people have other priorities in there lives. I just want to know why they aren't happy."
"Because you can't be happy all the time. Maybe they were happy yesterday."
"Are you happy?"
"What does that mean."
"That means that I'm happy enough to be okay. I'm not sad I'm just okay."
"Ugh, God, I wish it was that easy."
"Happiness isn't meant to be easy. Everyone wants something. So as long as you want something you can never be happy."
"Well what if you just get everything you want? There's a way to be happy without all that material shit."
"You can't have what you want without giving up what you need." He says.
"What if your wants are your needs?"
"Then you're just going to be unhappy. Think of people who want shelter? They need it and want it. They aren't very happy people."
"Damn, this has went to a whole new level of depressing." I said smiling. Zoloft did that to you. Made you happy that you lived. Just inexplicably happy.
"I lied earlier. We aren't going to a baseball game. I just didn't want to ruin your surprise." He smiled.
"Well, I'm kinda relieved we aren't going to a baseball game." I said.
"I know you'll enjoy what I have planned." He smiles confidently.
"I bet I will." I said more unsure.
"On a happier note you smell really good." He compliments.
"Yeah, sickly." He says wrinkling his nose. I bite my lip feeling the poltergeist attacking my uterus creep back.
"Maybe it's my perfume." I diverted.
"No, you didn't smell like that earlier."
"Maybe it's the soap from their bathroom."
"No, I used the restroom too. I don't smell like that" he commented.
"It's probably estrogen. A lot of estrogen floating around."
"Hmm." He chuckles.
"You can talk about estrogen but you can't admit you're menstruating?" He asks clearly humored.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I blushed.
"I can literally sense it on you. You're oddly more emotional than regular." He commented.
"God! If you knew the whole time why did you make me admit to it?" I asked.
"Because I didn't want you to be embarrassed. It's a natural thing."
"Stop, we aren't talking about this."
"Why not? I mean at this time of the month talks like this just seem to flow."
"You are literally the worst person I've ever met."
"This love hate relationship just seems to be cycling. I'm sure you'll put your walls back up after this." He smirks.
"Okay, I'm sorry about making fun of your boner." I apologized quickly.
"Thank you very much." He smiles driving down the freeway.
"I hate you."
"Is that Aunt Flow talking?" He asked. I groaned and sunk deeper in my seat. This is the part of a tennis match where the loser knows they aren't going to win but continues the play by saying one small word.
The next chapter will have the date. I'm actually really excited. I totally skipped over it in my planning so honestly I don't know where they're going
Laugh like Noel and smile like Jasper.
+ making you guys a nickname.
+going to be very dumb
+these '+' are called added thoughts
+because they're plus signs
+and they have my thoughts next to them.