"Why didn't you kiss him?" I said to myself "You should have kissed him." I leaned my head against my bedroom wall "Stupid." I banged my head against the wall.
I pulled a cigarette out of my back pocket and light it before inhaling the smoke into my lungs.
I exhaled, filling the room with a white cloud of thick smoke. "He wanted to kiss you too. You know he did."
I thought about his stupid little smirk and his stupid little dimple "Stupid fucking man, making me fucking feel things." I cursed.
When I was ten, I'd decided that all feelings were pointless and that giving a shit about anything was only a burden. So I decided never to care about anything else ever again. My brother was always an exception. When you're in the womb with someone for nine months and four days, you make exceptions for them. But suddenly Dan comes along and now I'm feeling things. What is this shit?
I mean I've thought people are attractive before, and I've had one night stands, but I've never actually liked them. Not like this anyway.
I took another drag on my cigarette "I have to do something about this." I decided putting out my cigarette on the wall (sorry landlord) and walking towards my bed.
I picked my phone up and dialled Dan and Phil's house phone.
....And waited ....
"Hello?" Phil's voice greeted me.
"Hello Phillip." I spoke.
"Ginger!" He replied "I know someone who likes you."
"Shut up you little!" I heard Dan shout from somewhere.
They both stopped talking for a while and all I could hear was them fumbling around "Give me it!" I heard Dan shout.
"No!" Phil protested.
"Are you guys wrestling over the phone?" I asked.
I heard a loud thud and then Dan shouting "Ha!"
"Ginger." Dan spoke into the phone trailing out the 'r'.
"It's you I was wanting to speak to actually Daniel."
"Am I in trouble?" He asked, I could hear him chuckling.
My stomach did a somersault as I imagined his smile.
"Yes." I replied seriously.
"Oh." I could hear his happy tone go.
"You're doing something to me and I just want to tell you to stop it."
"Okay...?" He sounded confused.
"What's she saying?" I heard Phil say in the background.
It was quiet for a while, Dan was probably mouthing to him what I'd said.
"Ask her if she's okay." Phil spoke "Does she need a magical cupcake sprinkle hug?"
"Are you okay?" Dan asked.
"What's wrong?" I could hear the worry in his voice.
"You! You're just so.... Ugh. And it's making me just ugh."
"I'm so what?"
"Awkwardly perfect!" I shouted at him "You know you are. Stop it."
He went silent "I'm sorry I guess."
"Don't be nice. Don't say sorry when you haven't done anything wrong. Just do something wrong so I can stop feeling like this."
"We're coming to see you." He said before hanging up.
It was exactly thirty four minutes from the time Dan hung up to the time I heard them knocking on the door. I know because I spent the entire time looking at the clock.
I opened the door to see them both looking worried, they said nothing, they just stood on my door step for a few minutes. I probably should have let them in. I just stared at them until Phil finally decided to embrace me in a hug.
"What's wrong?" He whispered.
I let go and looked at Dan "Go in and make yourself at him. I'm just gonna talk to Phil for a second.
He nodded and followed my orders, he smiled at my sympathetically. He looked sad though, really sad.
"Why does he have to be him?" I asked Phil.
"What do you mean?"
"He's just amazing. Everything he does makes me feel like melting. I don't like it."
Phil smiled at me and rubbed my shoulder "It's called love."
"Oh god." I whispered "I think I do love him."
I threw my arms up in the air "As if this couldn't get any worse."
"He never stops talking about you. He likes you too." Phil told me.
I sighed "I don't want this to be happening."
"Why not? Are you scared you'll get hurt?"
"No." I wasn't lying either. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, there was nothing wrong with him.
"What are you scared of then?"
"That I'll hurt him."
"You won't." Dan spoke from behind me.
I jumped and turned around "I've never felt anything for anyone before. It's weird."
"Have you never had a relationship?" He asked me.
I shook my head.
"Why not? You're gorgeous."
I folded my arms "I know I am. But I've just never found anyone who I liked."
"Well, what about me?" He moved closer to me and put his hands on my shoulders "Why didn't you kiss me?"
"Because I don't come easy. You'll have to work hard for me if you want me." I smiled smugly at him and tilted my head to the side.
"Now, should we go somewhere?"