1. Lies become truths
"well to be honest you could lose a couple pounds." I hear my self esteem shatter like my dreams. Cliche right? But completely how I felt. I ran upstairs to my bedroom, leaving my best friend alone in my house surrounded by my boring yet agonizingly strange family.
I lift up my shirt in front of my mirror. Fat is all I see sitting just perfectly enough to make my emotions run wild. Its dark in this mind of mine, but now it's pitch black with white letters in the middle of it spelling (FAT). It makes me angry. It makes me frustrated. It makes me lose control of what to feel or do anymore. Everything in my mind just goes completely dark again, so I grab a pair of hair cutting scissors from the medicine cabinet inside my bathroom. I lift up my shirt, and start sliding the sharp tip every where on the biggest parts if my belly.
Maybe I should starve? Maybe I can lose just a couple pounds and stop.
The next day I skipped breakfast and lunch. When it came to dinner I hid under the covers of my bed pretending to be asleep,so they wouldn't force me to eat it. I was weak. I had a headache, I lye in my bed confused. Am I upset or relieved this happened. My legs hurt from walking around today at school. My stomach growls upward to my ribs. I feel my stomach shake a little while it growls, unsatisfied with the fact it can move.
I decided to workout the next day, all day. ........