"So how did this all begin?"

"I liked her flannel."


9. 9.

February 14, 2012

My arms still sting from what I now consider the worst day of my life. Harry apologised and cried after seeing what I caused myself. Whether it was out of guilt or pity I do not know.

I no longer want to see any emotion flash across his face. I bet Aria calls him beautiful. I bet she smiles whenever someone mentions his name. She wears more green flannels lately. I bet it's because Harry's eyes are green. 

This morning Harry told me he would be back late and not to wait up. I did the exact opposite of course and decided to think about her.

My mind always travels to the way she looked away. It was such a good day until that very moment. My entire world stopped when we made eye contact in the courtyard. Her friends spoke to her, but she ignored them and stared into my dull blue eyes. I could see the curiosity in those green orbs that stared back at me. In a moment of bravery I flashed her a wide smile which she did not return. Instead of focusing her gaze on me, she looked to the ground and forgot about my existence. 

The memory alone sends me into a spiraling storm of sadness and self pity. I should let Harry have her. Who knows, maybe he will love her more than I ever could. After all, he isn't afraid of speaking to her. And she would never look away from Harry Styles. 


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