I got bat-shit drunk. I know this because my body feels like a tonne of weight is on top of it, I feel queasy, seasick and have a revolting need to wrench my guts out. Worst of all I don't even know how I got back to my room and I'm only in my boxer briefs.
I rush to the bathroom, looking for the toilet to hug and hold while, I let it have the contents of my stomach, I don't know the moment when Hadley enters, but I feel him. His fingers comb through my hair soothingly, which oddly feels comforting he's the only person other than Nia to caress my hair soothingly in a very long time.
"Here use this to rinse out your mouth." He hands me a cup of blue liquid, I guess is mouthwash, I do as he instructs me and rinse out my mouth and he flushes the disgusting concoction I have made in the toilet bowl and hands me a cup of orange juice, which I drink slowly but gladly. He helps me up and walks me back to bed, there a glass of water and two orange pills are waiting for me on one of my bedside tables. Once I'm settled he gives me the pill and glass of water to take, he brushes my hair before he leaves my room.
I don't like how I am feeling, I can't seem to shake off the notion that I am attracted to Hadley. A man, I have never ever looked at a man twice, never felt the kind of intimate connection I feel when he's around with anyone other than Niamera, or maybe I have these overwhelming feelings because he saw me and chose to know me, tapping right into my feelings of loneliness since I lost her and everyone else, aside from our daughter. I have no qualms about my sexuality, but I never considered myself being attracted to a man.
I settle back in the bed when I notice the other side of my bed that shouldn't be rumpled, rumpled. I move there and I smell him, he had been in my bed, my heart starts racing at the thought he slept beside me, but I was too drunk to even notice. "I slept there, didn't want you to suffocate in your vomit. I won't apologise for that." The way my heart starts beating against my chest has me worried that he may actually hear it because he walked in on me smelling the sheet. "Thank you, was quite stupid of me to drink so much." He smiles at me and seats on my bed. "Yes it was, but you've a free pass for it this weekend." I relax into my pillow and take him in, he is wearing cotton pants and a tank top, he looks clean shaven, smells nice and he's had a bath. "You should be well in an hour, we eat breakfast and you can decide what we'll do today."
I want to hit the gym and go to the beach, but Hadley wants to go hit the stores, so it's hit the gym, stores and finally the beach. At night, I've opted for something much simpler, which is watching a movie. I won't be drinking for a long time after this last turn around.
I should have known the gym would be torture.
Hadley's muscles flexing and body covered in sweat is worthy material for the cover of a GQ magazine and the sexiness of the visual image right in front of me is making my blood rush and body hot, that I can barely concentrate on my own workout. He notices I am a little off and comes around to my side to help me out when his body briefly presses against mine as he passes me by. It's like he knows I am having thoughts about kissing and licking the sweat from his body and his taunting me because of it. He touches my bent leg at my knee and my eyes shoot to his hand on me before I look at him and he is staring back at me with a smirk on his face, "Don't bend it, it's meant to be straight." He pushes down on my knee so I straighten my leg and he does it for the other one and when he steps back to watch me do my exercise, I feel the loss of his touch and the feel of his eyes on me is causing parts of me to harden. There is no way in hell, I would let him see that.
"I've burned off a lot of the alcohol in my system, it's time to call it a day here, don't you think?" I sit up and ask him, he runs his hand through his hair, stretches a hand out for me to take as he replies me "Sure, why not. Let's go back to the suite." I take his hand and he helps me up and slowly releases my hand.
The walk back to the suite is filled with tension, or maybe I am the only one feeling this way, we walk quietly neither of us speaking, seemingly lost in our thoughts until we get into our suite and head for our various bathrooms to wash off the sweat from our bodies.
In the shower, I let myself go. All I see is Hadley's body gleaming with sweat, his face, everything. I imagine him kissing me as I start to stroke myself. His eyes filled with lust for me as he kisses me on my lips and his tongue enters my mouth. His hands caressing my body and as he replaces my hand with his own, he moves away from my mouth to bite and suck on my neck, as he continues to stroke me hard and fast till I let myself go all over his hand, chanting his name like a prayer.
After that I scrub my body from head to toe, feeling guilty because of what I had just done and how much pleasure I had derived from it. I quickly clean myself and dress. I need something to eat, the workout had made me hungry, I leave my room for the kitchen, to see what the resort had stocked in it and to find something to fill my tummy.
The fridge is brimming with food and drinks. There is a huge slice of red velvet cake, which has a small note that says "eat me" and I gladly will, I take it out of the fridge and put it on the counter, while I search for the cutlery drawer, when I find it in a drawer further down in the huge kitchen and turn back towards the counter, I drop the knife and fork I am holding as I am not only startled but instantly aroused at the sight of Hadley resting on the counter facing me in only his snug fitting boxer briefs, which I can't get my eyes to look away from and I know when I see a how hard down there is.
"Like what you see?" He asks me, with that his all-knowing smirk and I gulp in air, the air suddenly grows a lot hotter. "I can tell by the way you're looking at me that you want me to." That's all the warning I get before he's kissing me with fervour and I embarrass myself by letting a pleasure driven groan out of my mouth right into his. His body is pressed against mine, my butt supporting us by digging into the drawer holding us in place as he totally owns my mouth and I obligingly let him take it.
His hand is holding my head in place by gripping the back of my neck, as he and I kiss each other furiously, tongue licking and sucking. He starts grinding his lower hip against mine and I can feel his hardness pressed against my own, I moan as he rubs us together, not expecting to actually ever feel pleasure this way in my life. After what seems like forever at he slowly pulls his mouth from mine and looks into my eyes, smiling as he says "That answers it all." I roll my eyes and he chuckles, I just had a life changing kiss that is by far the best kiss I've had in my life, but that doesn't answer it all. I just kissed a man, had his body pressed up against mine, his dick rub against mine and we were both hard from it... My life just changed in a matter of minutes, so no it doesn't answer it all.
I don't want to think about what this means for my life at the moment, so I push him off me, pick up my forgotten knife and fork from the floor, rinse them and grab the plate of cake and sit down at the dining table to eat it, despite the fact that my hunger for food had diminished in place of the hunger I felt for the man watching me, I know he's trying to gauge my reaction to what just happened, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of appeasing his inner turmoil's till I am done with this delicious cake, besides I bet this is what he had been planning all along and all the little signs, now glaring obvious in my face. I smirk knowing I now hold the power and the ball had landed in my court and not his.
"This sounds cliched but from the moment I saw you with Nia, I knew I had to have you, in whatever way I could get... because there is something about you, that I am insanely drawn to and I don't want to shake, I know it was a risk kissing you but, you've been giving me signs that you may as well be interested in me like I am about you and that kiss—that kiss was and is the rightest thing that has ever happened in my thirty years of life. Whatever your decision is, all I am saying is I will stand by and respect it."
Hearing him saying all those things makes my heart beat faster and my body fill with joy and elation, but a part of me is cautious about what all these means, if I choose to see and explore whatever it is I felt with this man and my family got the wind of it, I would never be welcomed within their circle again and what would Nia say? How would Hadley and I even cope? We are both so different from each other in every sense, he being a boss and I being at the bottom of the business chain and we are also both very busy beings and won't this affect his social image?
"Hadley there's a lot at stake here, even if I admit to sharing the connection that you have for me with you. I just don't see how we would make it work. We have our jobs to contend with, Nia, won't this even affect your social and business life?"
And after all, I just said, he is grinning. My tone was as serious as it would ever be and I sure didn't say anything that is funny. I must have been looking at him with confusion because he explains "Everyone but you knows my sexual preference." With that said he burst into laughter. I flush up with embarrassment, of course, everyone knows and would have assumed we were together and why Amanda had implied we were together. I groan as I become even more embarrassed, covering my face with my hands when I feel Hadley's chest press against my back and one of his arm caressing my belly while his other hand is dangerously close to my genital area. "It's going to be alright, I'm willing to sacrifice anything to give whatever it is we have a shot if you are also."
The difference between us is that he does not have anything to lose and the world I had carefully constructed for me and my daughter could crash at any moment and he could still walk away from whatever it is we seem to be exploring, the same, leaving my life in pieces.