Remember- NaNoWriMo 30 DAYS COMP

This is complete unedited trash. Expect a lot of tense changes and grammar mistakes. Oh and anything in the font 'courier new' are my notes to future me as general changing and editing points. I do a full analysis every 3 days or so, so bear with it.

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14. 13-Nov-15

20855 WORDS (woooooooo)

Ugh:

OK JUST MADE THIS TERRIBLY CONFUSING FOR MYSELF.

I’M THINKING OF CHANGING IT SO SHE DOESN’T KNOW SHE IS QUEEN YET. SHE LEAVES BEFORE ANY OF THAT? IT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE. SO YOU WILL HAVE TO EDIT ALL OF THIS. I’M JUST GONNA ACT LIKE NONE OF THIS EVER HAPPENED.

BUT I’M NOT GOING TO CHANGE IT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT WOULD INVOLVE THE DELETION OF A NUMBER OF WORDS. I DON’T WANT THAT. I’M ALSO NOWHERE NEAR HALFWAY THROUGH. THIS IS STILL MY INTRO. DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO ABOUT THAT FUTURE ME.

SECOND THING, I CAN’T SEEM TO GET THE DIALOGUE BALANCE RIGHT. I HOPE YOU CAN FIX THAT.

 

 “Shit. What have you done to her!” screams Zephina. My eyes open and I become aware of the uncomfortable position I lay in on top of one of the tables. Everything rushes back it. Elias. 50 years younger than he should be. The dizziness. The sickness.

I take a deep breath as my stomach sends a muddle out. “Ugh. Zephina, help me.” I moan. She gently pulls me up and leads me towards the windows and starts to braid my hair as I try to regain my body and mind.

I can see who Emrys called ‘Elias’ staring at me through the reflection in the glass.

“What is wrong with her?” he frowned. There was nothing wrong with me, I said to myself. But there was no kidding, something was wrong. I was getting sick and tired of waking up every day without memories and a past and I was getting even more tired by the never ending gaps everywhere.

“It’s the memory loss,” Emrys said as Elias looked down, “She needs some time. You are a gap.  A big gap. Give her the time.”

Zephinas grip on my hair became increasingly stronger, probably too busy listening to the two men talk. “Ow.” She let go and stared out of the window.

“It is beautiful the sunset,” she began in her Stranger voice. Her scarf ran with the wind and I realised that they still didn’t know she was a woman. But then. They did seem to know a lot.

“Hm...” I said. It was very beautiful.

“It is pink today. The Seers says that a pink sunset calls for storms and bad weather. I never believed them, even in childhood. A pink sunset always gave luck to me. Luck. So let it give luck to you. And remember, I am by your side, my friend. Always,” I was taken aback by her unusually emotional words that came out, waiting it to be followed by a ‘you shouldn’t do this’ or ‘you should do this’. But nothing else came. Just silence and the now too quiet talk of Elias and Emrys.

So I would ask her for advice, “What should we do.”

“What does your heart tell you to do?” she speaks in riddles.

“My mind is telling me to get as far away from this mess as possible but my heart is conflicted. I.. I don’t know. I’ve seen him before, Elias. I think.” I say, head resting on one arm. My head pounded if I thought about him. It hurt.

“Do you not know anything?” she said quietly.

“I thought we had already established this... No. No I don’t. The only memories I have are of the inn and the memories on my travells. I’ve made alot more memories on my travels than the blurred ones with uncle. But, yes, I want to know,” I took a deep breath and walked towards Elias, “Yes I want to know. I want to know. Everything.”

He walked towards the wall slowly and removed the painting hanging, putting it into my arms. The woman, she had black curly hair reaching up to the small of her back and bronze skin. Her eyes were olive green just like mine. Everything just like me apart from the expression. I had never worn that expression of authority, that demeanour of superiority. No-one had ever let me. It could not be me.

“Who is this?”

“My lover, my Queen Ximena, you. You.”

I laughed sarcastically and stopped almost immediately to say sternly, “No.” I could not be the queen. These men were playing some sick joke. This was not Elias. This was not who my uncle had left me to. I grabbed my coat and grabbed Zephina and did a true action that if we were not in such a difficult situation, Zephina would have applauded me. I jumped out of the 10 meter high window and onto the ground. She followed suit and I walked in silence back to the slums.

--

“You knew the way,” it was the first time anyone had dared to speak in over 4 hours. I nodded Zephina on. “You knew the way? The way back from one end of the town to another without a single hint from me.”

I stopped fumbling with my thread and needle to think. No, it couldn’t be possible. No. I was just good at memorising. Shaking my head in disagreement, I continued with the embroidery.

“Amara. We went through a completely different route than I have been taking you. Maybe they are right. You might be the..”

“No.” I said firmly. It couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t.

“Listen Amara. You are blocking out the sound of reason. You wanted to know what you had forgotten, maybe this is exactly what you were looking for. It fits. You look so similar to her.”

“Shouldn’t I be 68? Old. Weak. Frail. It is not possible. ‘Elias’ is a liar. I am simply a coincidence. And my memory loss.. it is amnesia. My uncle was a hopeless man, he dreamed of what he heard oversees.”

I swallowed my words.

Of course I did not believe my uncle was a hopeless man. He was far from that, but he was definitely a dreamer. Sending me to find a dead man without cause, was his way of telling me to move to Faechman. He wanted me to leave the inn. Yes.

The amnesia and the memory loss was my own fault. I was weak and I had lost my own memories on my own accord. There was nothing important I had lost, just the boring life I had lived in the inn with my uncle. My mother and father were dead, yes, and I had forgotten about them because their loss hurt me and my uncle hadn’t mentioned it because it would only bring pain. Yes.

My resemblance to the queen was simply by accident. People had similarities with others. I was sure. Yes.

‘Elias’ was simply Emry’s horrible plan to trick me and Zephina and to make both of us pay for pinning him to the wall. Yes.  

And most of all, I was no-where near the age of the Queen. I was not 68, I was 18. Yes.

Yes.

 

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