He is happy for Kris and Suho or at least that’s what he’s been trying to tell himself for weeks. The constant pain in his chest whenever Kris comes over for his secret meetings with Suho, never seems to go away, no matter how hard he tries. He’s been distancing himself from Suho subconsciously, he’s been doing the same with Kris.
When Kris and Suho started their relationship and Kris would ring the doorbell, Tao would always be the first one to open the door and greet his beloved Ge with a big smile and embrace him in a hug. But as time passed by, Tao noticed that his Ge had absolutely no interested in the younger man and one day, he stopped running to the door whenever it ran. He stopped greeting Kris and Suho, afraid of what he might say or do. The last thing he wants to do is hurt his hyung and Ge with his uncontrollable attitude.
Everyone else except Suho and Kris noticed the sudden change in the younger but no one spoke of it out loud, no one dared to be the cause of a potential fight or worse. Tao, however, decided that it was enough of his behavior and that he needed to move on. But how and with whom?
He broke free from his thoughts and got up from his bed, he mumbled to himself what kind of clothes he should get dressed in before he finally found the perfect outfit and accessories to go along with his clothes.
“You can do this, hyung and Ge deserves to be happy without a spoilt brat in their presence.” He whispered encouraging in front of the bathroom mirror. Satisfied with his speech and how he looked, he stepped out of his room and walked to the kitchen to get something to drink before he went out for tonight.
In the kitchen was Kris. “Just my luck” Tao mumbled and greeted his Ge with a quick smile before opening the refrigerator and grabbing the beer can before walking to the hall to put on his shoes, he carefully opened the can before chugging down the beer in a second. “Yah, Tao where are you going?” the person who he is trying to forget by going out yelled. Tao let out a loud sigh as he turned around to face his Ge. “Out” was all he said before he turned his heels and opened the front door, quickly stepping out and slamming close the door.
“Just walk away” Tao repeated until he got to his car. Sitting still in the driver’s seat has never felt so impossible before, he wanted to run back and apologize for his attitude but he knew he needed to start this car and drive away to move on.
The big letters were glowing from meters distance “GLOBAL”. As Tao got closer, his stomach got tighter and he considered going back home. How can he forget Kris with a one night stand? All the feelings he have for the tall man won’t go away after one night. Tao knew that. But he still wanted to try.
The club was filled with people, left and right, they were blasting BIGBANG-Bang Bang Bang. Tao felt uncomfortable outside of his comfort zone, he was surrounded by people who were bumping into him. He walked straight to the bar and ordered a couple of shots, thinking that this might do the trick and lighten me up.
He was right, about 20 minutes later he was drunk and ready to party and forget the dragon. He stumbled out on the dance floor and let loose, let all of his feelings go for the older man and danced as if his life depended on it and to be completely honest. It kind of did. If he didn’t do this, he’d hurt the other members in ways he never want to. He was doing the right thing for once.
He felt a body move up behind him and the person proceeded to put his or hers hands on Tao’s waist. Tao was too into the dancing that he didn’t bother turning around to see who it was. Somehow the touch felt very familiar to Tao, when the person’s hand came in contact with his skin he felt sparks.
The person quickly turned Tao around and pressed the lips on Tao’s. Tao answered the kiss as quick as it started and soon they were in a full make out session on the dance floor. He lightly bit the person’s lower lip and earned a groan, now he knew for sure the person was a guy and got more turned on.
The man’s lips left Tao’s and the strangers hand grabbed Tao’s and pulled him toward the bathrooms. He pushed Tao inside a booth and Tao sat down on the toilet seat, the man sat in Tao’s lap and Tao’s lips attacked the man’s neck, leaving kiss trails and earning multiple moans that sounded oddly familiar. Tao couldn’t see the man’s face clearly thought because of the alcohol. “Tao” the man whispered.
That was the last thing Tao remembered when he woke up in his bed. His head ached from the hangover and all the questions he had. How did he get home? Who was that man? How did he know his name? What happened after that?
As Tao sat up he felt a sharp pain in his lower back and immediately knew what had happened. The stranger and him had sex in that public bathroom. Not being able to sit up and being killed by this killer headache was not a good way to start the day.
He groaned loudly and stayed in bed. The door suddenly opened and in came Luhan with a glass and two painkillers. “Here, this will help” he said and handed the younger the glass and pills. How did he know he was in pain?
“I helped you inside yesterday, you reeked of sex and alcohol so I figured you’d have a killer hangover the next day” he answered as if he could read my mind. Tao carefully glanced over at the older and tried sitting up to take the pills without choking. Luhan noticed the pain in the younger’s face as he attempted to sit up and helped out by holding up his head. “Thank you Ge” he said sincerely and handed Luhan the glass.
“Who’s the lucky guy?” Luhan teased as he playfully winked at Tao, causing the younger to blush like there was no tomorrow. What was he supposed to say? Oh I don’t remember? Or should I just plain lie and tell him it was my lovely boyfriend from Brazil who was here on a visit? He knew his ge wouldn’t believe him so he decided to stick to the truth.
“I don’t remember” He confessed, lowering his head in shame to avoid the older man’s eyes. Luhan let out a laugh and carefully patted Tao on the back. There was a slight sadness in his ge’s laugh but Tao knew better than to question it. “You badass” Luhan replied simply before standing up, ready to leave the room. He turned around before he opened the door. “Call me if you need anything. I suggest you stay in bed today and recover” Luhan smiled at Tao as he nodded before leaving the younger to himself.
Tao fell asleep directly after Luhan left and he was surprised at how relaxing falling asleep was.
The next time the younger woke up, he was met by multiple eyes staring down at him, startled by their intense stares, he jumped back a bit. Forgetting that his back hurt he tried to sit up once again but was as surprised as the first time at how much it hurt. Luhan ran to the rescue and helped Tao lay down carefully again.
“Be careful, we don’t want a sad panda in our house” He whispered in Tao’s ears before standing up, joining the others once again. “Hyung, how are you feeling?” Sehun pouted, sad that his hyung was in pain. “I’m fine” Tao said and forced a smile that didn’t go unnoticed by any of the boys. “Yah, don’t lie to your hyungs in the face” Kris growled at Tao, startling everyone by the anger in his voice. “I’m sorry” the younger whispered and lowered his head.
“Now now” Suho said in his leader voice and put his hand on the dragons shoulder, which visibly calmed him down and made him took a step back to look at his loved one. “We just wanted you to know that if you need anything you can just call for us and we’ll be there. We know the pain of a hangover” Suho kindly offered, making Tao regret that he was ignoring him for so long. “some also know the pain of other things” Baekhyun whispered to Chanyeol before laughing with the giant, thinking that no one heard him.
Suho blushed furiously and Kris sent glares at the boys behind him. They all knew what he was talking about and Tao could feel his heart breaking. He was unsure whether anyone else heard how his heart was breaking because Luhan was staring at him with a sad look in his eyes. He noticed that the beautiful man seemed to be in a fight or argument with himself, he wanted to confront him but not in front of the rest of the guys.
“Kris, you should leave. The managers are supposed to be here any second” Kyungsoo said, breaking the ice, causing both Tao and Luhan to wake up from their thoughts. Kris nodded in agreement and bent down to kiss his loved one on the cheek before saying his goodbye’s, leaving the group once again.
“I should probably rest” Tao mumbled and turned around in the bed, his head facing the wall. He could hear the others leaving, saying their good nights before closing the door. He let out his breathe that he didn’t know he was holding in and turned around once again. Feeling like he could breathe without any clumps in his chest anymore.
“Tao” he heard a voice say and footsteps coming closer. Tao hadn’t seen the older man standing there but wasn’t that surprised that he stayed either.
“Do you not remember or are you just pretending?” Luhan said, causing the younger confusion. “What are you talking about?” Tao asked honestly turning his gaze to Luhan. “Last night. Do you still not remember the man you slept with?” Tao shook his head and tried his best to remember. All he remembered was the petite man in his lap, saying his name. That scene kept on replaying in his head until his thoughts were interrupted.
“Tao” Luhan said and took a step closer. The voice was awfully familiar to the man yesterday.
It all clicked for Tao. The familiar touch, hands, voice and silhouette in front of him. “It was you, wasn’t it?” Tao whispered, not daring to meet the older man in the eyes. But he could see him nodding from the corner of his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Tao let out and turned to face Luhan. His face was covered in tears and he wiped his face with his arm sleeves.
It hurt Tao to see his Ge like this. To know that he was the cause of his beloved ge’s tears hurt him even more than he could have imagined. It hurt more than Kris and Suho and that scared Tao.
“I’m sorry” Luhan cried out and put his hands to cover his crying face from Tao’s view. Tao knew very well that it would hurt like a bitch to stand up but he did it anyway, trying to bear the pain, he walked over to Luhan and pulled him into a hug.
Whispering soothing words to the older and patting his back, letting him know Tao was there for him was all it took for Luhan to stop crying. When he finally stopped he returned Tao’s hug and pulled the taller man as close to him as he possibly could at the moment, careful to not put too much pressure on Tao’s lower back. “I’m sorry for your back” he whispered, causing Tao to laugh. “I would have never thought it was you who put me through this hell today” Tao confessed as he pulled away from the hug, making the older disappointed.
“Who’d you think it was then?” Luhan asked, not really wanting to hear the answer from Tao. He saw how Tao smiled at him before answering. “Just a stranger” Luhan felt slightly hurt by his answer, he didn’t know the younger was that drunk that he wouldn’t even remember him the next day.
“I’m glad it was you though” Tao suddenly confessed. Did he hear him right? Was he really happy that it was Luhan?
“I knew that the stranger’s voice, hands and touch was really familiar but I couldn’t put a face to the voice. I guess I was too drunk.” Tao said, scratching his back nervously. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I wanted to but I was afraid you’d get mad” Luhan whispered to the younger. “I know, it’s okay” Tao nodded and slowly tried to sit down on the bed. “I’m kind of sad I don’t remember our night though” He chuckled, causing Luhan’s heart to beat like crazy.
It was no secret that Luhan had a crush on Tao. Everyone knew it, well except for Tao, atleast until now.
“I love you Tao” Luhan blurted out, regretting it immediately. He turned around to leave the room but was stopped by a hand. “Don’t go” Tao pleaded. “Please don’t go.” Luhan nodded and turned to meet the taller man’s face. “I know you know I don’t exactly feel the same about you right now. But I do feel something, I don’t know what yet but yesterday when you touched me I felt sparks and that says something to me.” Tao started. Luhan eagerly waited for him to continue but he could see that Tao was busy thinking at the moment. He didn’t blame him.
“But I’m more than willing to try if you’re up for it” Luhan was confused. Was Tao really willing to date him? “What did you say?” Luhan stuttered, wanting Tao to repeat himself to see if he really heard right. “I’m willing to date if you are” Tao slowly repeated to Luhan.
“I’d like that” Luhan smiled like there was no tomorrow at the one he had loved so long.
“Good” Tao whispered before pulling the shorter in for a kiss.