Liam put on, over my naked body, a white nightgown. I was now totally in his power. I could no longer remember Harry's face. It was as if my old life slowly became blurred and I just remembered four walls, as now was my home. I felt the fabric slid down over my tired body. Liam took my hand and he steered me toward the door. I wasn't happier that I got to leave the room. I had no goal any more. He took me down the stairs. The house was dilapidated, but still he had tried to create a home. We came down to a room. From the ceiling hung a chandelier with candles in. It was worn and if the candles hadn't been burning, I hadn't seen it. Under there was a table laid for two. There were two candles, a vase with roses and there were two plates and more. Liam pulled quietly out of the chair and I sat down.
I was surprised when he show me a bottle with wine. He poured it into our glasses. So we celebrated something? I assumed he would say something that I had been there for some time, or that he just loved me, which I doubted. I sat very still. He disappeared and came back with two plates. I got big eyes. Before me, he put a plate with potatoes, sauce, meat, and vegetables. I couldn't remember what I had previously eaten more than the soups he had given me. I saw how he sat down on the other side of the table. He smiled big.
"Darling, today you get a lot of food. I wanted to show my appreciation."
He raised his glass and he indicated that I would do the same thing, which I did.
"Cheers to you and me!"
I don't know the last time I had eaten so much food and such good food. I tried to take it easy because my stomach wasn't used to solid food. Still, I ate it all up. I almost wanted to lick the plate. It tasted so good and I felt I finally became disgusting measured. Liam smiled big and he had his eyes on me all the time.
"Would you like dessert?"
I just stared at him. He had more food for me? He took our plates and then he fetched a small bowl of ice cream and strawberry sauce. I ate everything and I felt how the body loved every spoonful I scooped up.
Liam took my hand and he took me from the table. We landed in the middle of the floor and without music, he took his arms around me and spun me around, as if we danced. I didn't know if I would do the same, but I did. I followed him around. I raised my hands on his arms and I went along. He smiled wide and he laid his cheek against mine.
"Oh, do you hear the music?" he whispered hoarsely in my ear. No? I tried to listen if there was the slightest sound of music, but I heard nothing. He let his hands slide over my back, until he slowly pulled up the nightgown and caressed my butt. He groaned and he let his hands touch my bare skin.
"Oh, Darling!" he muttered hoarsely. "You are my Everything."
He kissed my neck and he parted my buttocks, as if he massaged me. He moaned and I felt his hardness. He backed me against the wall and he lifted me up. He penetrated.
I felt how he slammed me into the wall. He groaned and he was totally inside to have sex with me. I let my eyes wander around the room. The house was really a hovel. All the windows were covered in the hole house and the walls looked like something from a horror movie. I saw traces of paintings on the wall and I saw that there weren't many furniture. I just saw the table as we had sat at and a sofa. I understood we were somewhere where no one would find me. He had hidden me well from the outside world and slowly I become what he wanted.
He pressed himself harder against me and he groaned loudly. His lips were pulled over my cheek and he was shaking all over. In the end he pushed inside one last time, shook and he shrugged. I heard that sound, that he came.
"Oh fuck!" He whined again, as if this was wonderful.
Liam dropped me on the floor and he kissed me. He pressed me still against the cold wall and he groaned quietly.
"Oh dear!" he muttered hoarsely, "You're all I have!"
When I came back to the room, I did as I used to. I washed myself down there with water and dried myself with toilet paper. It was nice to have the nightgown on the body and I liked to feel the fabric against the skin. I slid to the window and I peeked through the little gap. I was disappointed when I discovered that it was night. I didn't even see a starry sky. I sighed and I slipped back to bed.
I heard the sound of Liam. He picked order down there. Then I heard that he left the house and that he left the farm with the car. I knew that all the doors were locked and I knew I hadn't the strength to try to escape. I lay on my back and I looked up at the ceiling. I tried to capture the memory of Harry, but he was fog. I had vague memories from when I was little. I remembered the summers, when I ran barefoot on the grass and playing with friends. I remembered when I was in school and when I struggled to get ratings. Yet I couldn't see Harry. He was there but I didn't see his face. I just saw that he was in my heart, nothing more.
I woke up when Liam came into the room. He smiled wide and he slid up on the bed, between my legs. I saw that he pulled down his fly and I understood that he would again take me. He groaned.
"I was in town." he muttered hoarsely. "No one saw me but I saw everyone. They have stopped looking for us."
I should have responded, but it was as if I had already know that. He jerked off a few times, and he was groaning. I felt his second hand and he was looking up the hole with his thumb. He brought his hardness there in the darkness, and he penetrated. He leaned over me and he did it quickly. He just needed to bring it in a few times before he came. I felt the smell of whiskey and I understood why he had gone to the city. He was intoxicated. He landed on me, on top of me, with his lips against my ear and he puffed out. I heard how he slowly fell asleep and I chose to lie perfectly still. He fell asleep and snored.
In the morning he woke with a start. He had during the night slipped off me. His pants were still down and he seemed almost surprised.
"I slept here?"
I nodded. I had been awake all night, and now I was tired. He smiled and he looked down at his pants, as if he understood what we had done. He laughed a little bit.
"I can't keep me away from you? Not even when I'm in the pub?"
He kissed my cheek and he slipped up on me.
"Let's do it again so that I remember it."
It started to become cold in the room. I froze even when I lay under the covers. Liam came in and he had with him an electric heater. He placed it near the bed and I saw that the extension cord went under the door and out. In my room there were no contacts. He smiled wide and he pressed a button so it went on.
"Now do you manage the winter?"
I swallowed. Winter? Three months? Maybe I had been here for three months or more? I wanted to know.
I started trying to remember music. I could lie still and in the head, I tried to remember, even some movies as I had seen. I remembered Titanic, one of my favourites. I tried to remember the plot, just to pass the time.
I realized that the snow came. I heard the hum of the wind, and sometimes I could glimpse the snow when I looked through the crack. I had plenty of time to think. I tried to remember everything that I cared about, but somehow it was all just one big fog. It was as if I wasn't was born.
Liam gave in to me with a Christmas present. He slid up on the bed, because it was the only warm place in the house. I took it and slowly I pulled the paper off. I discovered that there was a bathrobe. Okay? He gave me a robe? Liam smiled big.
"It keeps you warm and you can wear it." he was proud over himself. "I think it was a great gift and now I want my Christmas present."
I looked at him. He laughed.
Well, sex was all he wanted? I lay under him and I let him take me. I thought about all the Christmases I had celebrated and I remembered my parents. All trees that had been in the house and some of the gifts I had received.
"I'll give you another gift." murmured Liam against my cheek. He took his hand down and he began to caress me. I closed my eyes and I felt how he got me to like it. I felt he took me foreward, how he caressed my clit and finally he got the result he wanted me. I held him and I bit my lip, quiet. I pushed myself up against him and I shook. "I love you so much!"
He kissed my cheek and he kissed my lips.
"Oh Kim, you are all I want, and we are together."
I froze even that element was standing near me. I wore the blanket and I had on my dressing gown. I lay and looked towards the covered window, and I listened to the emptiness. Damn, I didn't want to die, but I realized that I was heading in that direction. I was dying inside. I only remembered my name and Liam.
I lay and listened to the wind, I lay listening to nature outside the house and slowly I fell asleep.
I ended up in a fog. Liam didn't show up with food and my stomach started to rumble. I chose to try to drink the water that was in the bucket, but the cold air made constantly the surface to form ice. Nevertheless, I tried to survive. In the end it was only a few drops left. I took a deep breath and now I knew my time had come.
First night I lay awake and I through about everything that I still remembered. When the second night came, without water, I realized that I couldn't be bothered to lie like this. I stretched out my arm, and I turned off the element. I knew it was better to freeze to death. I remembered faintly that I had read about people who almost died in the snow. They had first been cold and then they had become hot and then died. I wanted to choose that way out, instead of starving.
I lay in the fetal position and this was the first time I was happy, since Liam had kidnapped me. I chose my own resort and I chose to go my own way. I listened to the wind and I listened to the silence. I woke up a few times, or perhaps many times? Everything was in a fog. I was happy when I felt the cold turned into heat. I enjoyed that I had made this choice. Soon it was over and it made me happy! Soon it really was all over. Soon, I would avoid this cursed life.
When you land between death and reality, it feels like you are floating. I no longer felt hunger or cold. I wasn't angry and I wasn't sad. I was just there and it was wonderful. I knew that I eventually, if I went to heaven, would miss the people I loved, but this was a good solution. I slid off. Slowly I closed myself inside myself and slowly I drifted away. Slowly, I stopped to hear the wind and slowly there was only harmony.