A psychologist was inserted. I sat in the wheelchair and I looked straight at her. She smiled a little bit and she looked straight at me.
"I'm Sophia and I'm here to help you."
I frowned. Helping me with what? She took out a piece of paper and a pen and put it in my lap.
"You can write whatever you want and I promise to talk to you about it."
I continued to be against this. She talked and I sat and listened? I took up the pen and wrote "Liam ?" on the paper. I gave it over to her again and she seemed to think.
"Yes, he's in prison!" she got up and she looked at me again. "He'll go through an investigation, you know, to see if he has problems or not. The trial will take place before the summer."
No good answer. I sighed and I looked down at my hands. Nothing felt right if I didn't know he was gone.
"Your husband's fighting!" she tentatively forward and she caught my attention. "He has paid a lot of money to get the best lawyer to work for your cause."
She saw that I looked at her and she saw that I was listening.
"It happens a lot as you don't know about and I know he will do everything for justice to be as he wants. Mr Styles spoke to me a few days ago and he's worried about you."
I knew Harry wanted my best, but it was hard enough to get used to being without legs, being in the hospital, that everything had happened, and so on. I took the paper from her and I wrote: "I love him and I know he fights, but it's hard enough to be me."
She took the paper from me, read, and she nodded.
"I know!" she replied, looking at me again. "When you regain your voice, we will need to spend many hours on your thoughts and I'm here, Harry's here and we are all going to help you."
I had to struggle to get up the strength in my arms. I lifted weights, I was talking to Sophia and I even had a nurse who made sure that I ate what I needed to eat. I was guarded from that I woke up until I went to bed. Sometimes Harry turned up, sometimes he had children with him and in the end I managed to regain the strength to live. I wasn't happy, but I managed.
Harry snuggled up in bed next to me and he held me tight. He would go back home, because it was late evening, but he just wanted to feel my presence. I found it difficult to regain trust, because I still felt that Liam was in power over me, some how. But this evening it was okay. I smiled at him and I knew he didn't wanted to do something bad.
"It's February!" he whispered. I reacted because I realized that I had been alive for a month. He smiled and he pulled a hand through my hair. "Your boss called and asked how it was with you. I said you are fighting."
I smiled at him. He tried to be a good husband and I admired him for it.
"Hanna do every week on the cure for Rufus and Charlie spend much time his Rufus." He said it as if he wanted to mention that I had a place in the family. "I work part time at school and I'm trying..."
I laid my head against his chest and I closed my eyes. I had begun to love his scent, his presence, again. It was with him that I belonged, with or without my two legs.
"Your parents might come here!"
I opened my eyes and I realized that they had been away. I hadn't thought about them. Harry seemed to understand my thoughts.
"Your mom often cries and your dad is trying to take this like a man." He kissed my hair. "They care, but it's I who want us to take it easy. I want you to come back and I want you to do it your way."
My heart ached.
"I'm waiting for you at home and I hope that they soon telling us it's okay that you come home to us."
"Okay, we need to find out why you don't talk!"
Sophia was determined. I frowned. It hurt to talk. I wrote it on the paper, but she just smiled.
"No, it's you who think it hurts." she said quickly. "Come on! You have to learn to talk again."
I shook my head and again I wrote on the paper that it hurt. She sighed, and she leaned back in her chair.
"It sits in your head. You think you can't talk, but you can!"
I chose to practice in secret. At first I tried to just do the small little sound, but it took time to get over the fear. I realized that Sophia was right. Liam had taught me to be quiet, and now I had to learn to talk. Okay, I couldn't talk like before, I had to get over the obstacle and actually doing that.
It was spring. Harry put me down in the wheelchair and we left the hospital, the first time in a long time. I felt a little mismatched. I had been in the house for six months, I had been in the hospital a long time and now I would be in real life? I didn't like it, but because I couldn't say no to that, I followed him like he wanted. He pulled me into the elevator and then he took me out on the street. It felt strange. It wasn't a sunny day but I felt the bottom sweet air and the sun shining through the dark clouds.
We landed in the park. Harry put the wheelchair next to the bench, and he sat down next to me. He smiled big.
I picked up the paper and pen.
He laughed a little bit.
"Well, about to go home?"
I just stared at him. Go home? He smiled and took up his hand. He pulled it through my hair and he put his head askew.
"Yes, I work for you to come home. We are waiting for you, me and the kids."
"Home?" I wrote. "I can't talk, I can't walk and I'm not sure!"
He read, he smiled and he looked at me again.
"I know, darling, but Sophia think it would do you good."
He didn't see the concern in my eyes.
"In the next week, you come home and I demand nothing from you. I have made so that your and my bedroom is in the office. I moved up the office to our old bedroom."
I frowned. He had been working to bring home a wife home, who even can't get up the stairs? Harry just smiled and he looked at it in a different way.
"I'm looking for a new house for us. A house as accessible for everyone."
"No!" I wrote quickly on the paper. "You can't change alls life just because I'm so fucking..."
I started to cry. He saw what I had written and he hugged me.
"You aren't anything other than my wife, the children's mother and a wonderful person." he whispered hoarsely. "Stop looking down on your self. You are more than you know."
I sobbed against him. How could he love a person like me? I felt small. I felt the whole body shaking. Harry kept his arms around me and he didn't see it the same way.
"You're going home!" he said firmly. "You should be home with us and I'll make sure you get everything you need. I love you and I'm not giving up hope for us."
I saw the reaction of my parents' eyes. I sat in the wheelchair without legs and with weak arms. It was as if they hadn't expected that this was the truth. Nevertheless they bet together, walked up to me and hugged me. I felt like an idiot, like a person who could be stare at.
"It will be good!" I heard mom say, and she sat down. Dad pulled up a chair and he agreed with her.
"We have helped Harry with the kids and we know that Harry will ensure that you land in the real world again."
I frowned. I had been in reality, and it wasn't a good place.
"Everyone wants you to come home!" I heard Mom say. I frowned. They played bad theater. Dad swallowed and he agreed with her.
"And you have your work. You have everything that you left behind, and we all look forward for you to coming home."
I sat alone in the shower because I wanted. I looked down at my legs and all that as was missing below the knees. It was funny. I could see before me how I wiggled my toes, but I saw no toes. I tried to get used to my new body. It was difficult. I washed myself under the water and I moved on the stumps, now my legs. I hated them, but at the same time I couldn't take that away. I washed my thighs and I let my hands slide down over the healed wounds. I felt with my hands over my knees and then there were no more, but my brain wanted me to feel more. I frowned, and I swallowed. I massaged the end of my legs. Creepy!
I got on a dress and I got help to lifted me over in the wheelchair. Okay, this was what I had to wait for? A life on wheels?
I rolled out into my room and I was left alone. I quickly pulled up the dress and I looked at my legs again. I wanted to get used to me, to all this, I wanted to understand. My legs were gone and I was here? I pulled down the dress and I looked down at my hands. They were normal, but I had no sensation in all the fingers. I found it hard to hold a fork several times, but it worked, so far. When I lifted a glass I had to think about it, not lose the grip. Talk about that I was a child again?
Harry showed up and he smiled big. He walked over to me and he gave me a hug.
"Tomorrow, you come home!"
I panicked and he felt it in my arms. He sat down on his haunches in front of me and he frowned.
"No, you shouldn't be afraid." he whispered hoarsely. "I promise that everything will be fine."
I shook my head, but he was sure about this.
"You're going to solve all the problems that come up, and I'm there for you."
He took my hands in his.
"I love you and I know you love me. We will come a long way by only to love."
Harry has purchased a wheelchair just for me. It was black and had a much more comfortable cushion against the old, who belonged to the hospital. It had everything I needed and I knew that he felt he did the right thing. He took my bag and he rolled me out of the room. When I got to the elevator I felt my stomach tingled. I was going home? We slid down the elevator and then into the street. The car was driven up. He put the wheelchair on the side, opened the door and smiled at me.
"Would you try?"
I nodded. He rolled me into the car, so I just needed to transfer the body to the seat. I struggled with my arms and in the end I sat in the car. He laughed and he nodded with satisfaction.
"Now the worst is over."