A Brand New Little Britain Episode

Here is my own 'Little Britain' episode with my favourite characters in brand new sketches.

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9. Roy and Mr. Mann - Cake Shop

INT. CAKE SHOP – DAY

Roy stands behind the counter of this delicious cake shop.

NARRATOR (V/O):

It's five to Steve and Mr. Mann is taking his daughter, Miss Girl, to a cake shop. I love cakes. I have a thousand caters making cakes for me because I just hate doing the hard work and I’m an old fart.

Then, like magic, Mr. Mann and his daughter Miss Girl appear straight in front of the counter.

ROY:

Oh, hello.

MR. MANN:

Hello.

MISS GIRL:

Hello.

ROY:

How did you get in here?

MR. MANN:

(Pointing to the front door) By opening that door.

ROY:

Right. So, how can I help you?

MISS GIRL:

Do you have any cakes with salt and pepper sponge with banana jam with chocolate icing and with the words: "To Miss Girl, the best girl in the world"?

ROY:

(Looks around) I can't see any here. Margaret knows all the cakes. One moment. (Steps back).

MARGARET! MARGARET!

Roy and Mr. Mann exchanges smiles to each other.

MARGARET (V/O):

Yes?

ROY:

There's a gentleman and a very young woman here who wants to know if we have any cakes with salt and pepper sponge with banana jam with chocolate icing!

MISS GIRL:

With the words: "To Miss Girl, the best girl in the world".

ROY:

With the words: "To Miss Girl, the best girl in the world"!

MARGARET (OOV)

I don't know!

ROY:

She doesn't know.

MISS GIRL:

Oh.

ROY:

(To Margaret) Oh!

MARGARET (OOV):

We got a chocolate sponge cake with banana icing with strawberry cream!

ROY:

Oh, she says we got a chocolate sponge cake with banana icing with strawberry cream!

MISS GIRL:

What are you, sick?

ROY:

(To Margaret) What are you, sick?

MARGARET (OOV):

Yes! I've been throwing up in the toilet a lot!

Throwing up can be heard.

ROY:

Sorry about that. She'll get better soon.

Mr. Mann and Miss Girl just shudder.

MISS GIRL:

Do you have a chocolate cake with jam in it?

ROY:

I think we have just the thing.

Roy gets a perfectly good cake that fits her description and shows it to her.

ROY:

Well, what do you think?

MISS GIRL:

How much does it cost?

ROY:

We're doing a special offer by 35% which would bring it to only £13.90.

MISS GIRL:

Oh, I was hoping to spend around £13.75.

MR. MANN:

(To Roy) You see, she takes after her father.

ROY:

(Sighs) Yes! I can see that!

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