A Brand New Little Britain Episode

Here is my own 'Little Britain' episode with my favourite characters in brand new sketches.

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16. Emily and Florence - Job Hunt

EXT. OLD HAVEN – DAY

Emily and Florence are on their bicycle cycling.

EMILY:

Morning!

FLORENCE:

Afternoon!

NARRATOR (V/O):

In this seaside town of Old Haven, transvestites Emily and Florence are looking for jobs. The only part of jobs I ever do is receiving the money.

EXT. OLD HAVEN – JOB CENTRE PLUS – DAY

The transvestites arrive at the job centre plus building and park it. Just as they get off, two young pranksters arrive and laugh at them.

FLORENCE:

(Male voice) Hey! What are you laughing at? Piss off!

The boys run in fear.

EMILY:

That showed them. (Shouting to the running boys, in his male voice) A bit of lady touch!

And they walk in.

INT. JOB CENTRE PLUS – DAY

Emily and Florence walk to the desk and clear their throats to the black-haired woman with glasses at the desk. It's Carol Beer.

CAROL:

Yes, gentlemen? (The transvestites turn around and can't find any men). How can I help you?

EMILY:

We would like a job. A lady's job.

FLORENCE:

Oh, yes, not a man's job.

EMILY:

No way!

FLORENCE:

No!

EMILY:

No!

FLORENCE:

No!

EMILY:

No!

FLORENCE:

No!

EMILY:

(Manly voice) Shut up!

Carol types into her computer.

CAROL:

Computer says no.

EMILY:

Well, any jobs at all?

Carol shudder her shoulders.

FLORENCE:

Any job will do.

Carol types in.

CAROL:

You can have the job of a waitress or a prostitute.

EMILY/FLORENCE:

WAITRESS!

CAROL:

Okay, don't scream. Here's the address. Just make sure you CVs are top-notch.

EMILY:

(Taking the address sheet) Okay.

A WEEK LATER…

EXT. COAL MINE – DAY

Outside a coal mine, a lot of dirty, strong mine men are sitting and taking a breather. Emily and Florence, dressed as sully maids, are serving the men beer. They hate it.

EMILY:

(Manly voice) I have had it!

FLORENCE:

(Manly voice) I'd like to get my hands on that woman!

Then they see Carol, writing on her board. They walk to her.

EMILY:

Excuse me. I'd like to change jobs!

FLORENCE:

Me too! It's full of muck and disease down there!

Carol just gives each of them a cough! Then she walks off. Emily and Florence can't believe this.
 

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